Grateful please or any explanations, reasons for

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by amberence, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. amberence

    amberence Registered User

    Mar 15, 2008
    28
    Barton upon Humber
    #1 amberence, Apr 27, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2008
    After quite a torrid time of late caring for mum now showing signs of severe dementia, for two days she returned to normal, her old self again. She even managed helping round the house, folding clean washing, setting table for tea. Though pleased to see this in her, it left me confused as lately conditioned myself seeing her with dementia, realising not my mum anymore as once knew.

    Course her new demeanour didn't last for long and today returned to her frail, child-like self again with dementia. Today constantly packing her bags to go away ... (her own home where born, or her brother's, who died two years ago, or to hospital!! I assume she's getting confused with going into respite care, told her about which used as an excuse for a holiday for her she's going on and to.

    The point I'm making, feel more settled in myself now she's returned to "normal" again with her dementia, as when fine the other day found it most unsettling. So why should I feel guilty about this and anyone care to explain, is this normal with someone with dementia ... fine one day and totally opposite the next?

    Thanks,

    Regards,

    Keith.
     
  2. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,149
    Toronto, Canada
    Keith,
    Those days of normality are a gift. Enjoy them when they come. Yes, dementia is very unsettling for everyone, not just the patient. I found it particularly hard at the beginning, before I learned to zig when Mum zagged & vice-versa.

    Enjoy those days. They are windows back to when your mum was herself. It is normal for this to happen.

    Take care.
     
  3. amberence

    amberence Registered User

    Mar 15, 2008
    28
    Barton upon Humber
    Hi Joanne. Compeletely threw me off when saw mum her normal self again. Then today fully back to her normal state with dementia. Just saw things in black and white with Alzheimer's without any grey areas. Which shown there are some!

    Enjoyed the day last week when mum her old self again but now feel cheated, back to square one with her dementia. Feel rather stay as she is than confusing me, and that is why I feel so guilty.

    Keith.
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Oh my Goodness, yes!!!!:eek::eek:


    It's extremely normal, and something we're all struggling with, whatever stage we're at.

    Please don't feel guilty, you've nothing to feel guilty about.

    What you have to do is learn to enjoy the good days, and store up the memories.

    When the bad days come, just remember that they pass too, and tomorrow may be good!:)

    PS I used to live in Burton upon Stather, before we moved up her!
     
  5. barbara h

    barbara h Registered User

    Feb 15, 2008
    96
    county durham
    I can understand exactly how you feel. A couple of weeks ago my mam had a little of "window of normality" where she suddenly understood what has happened to her and that she was in the care home. She was very upset and depressed and blaming my sister and i saying she wouldn't forgive us for putting her there. Very hard to cope with and although it is hard seeing her so confused with her dementia it is easier cos she is happier like that because she is in her own little world where she seems much more content.

    barbara h
     

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