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Granny's threatened to murder me, hit me with her handbag and is being vile

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Lisa74, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    #1 Lisa74, Jan 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015
    Granny's threatened to murder me, hit me with her handbag and is being vile- help?!

    I wish she could live somewhere else. She has been so awful today, luckily my dad has been able do his work from home today (barely) but I am tired of it. I wish people knew what dementia is real like :(
  2. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    ps. What would it take to get her sectioned? If we didn't stop her she'd put persil on her cereal, overdose on paracetamol, run around the neighbourhood at 3am on icey nights and refuse to eat (danger to self), as it is she hits and tries to hit wit her stick/handbag (danger to us).
  3. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    She just won't stop... all day. She is being absolutely vile- threatening, saying that we killed her dog, trying to bash the front door down with her shoe so that she can escape etc etc.
  4. FozzyC

    FozzyC Registered User

    Aug 3, 2014
    I'm relatively new to this site, so no expert! Just to send my sympathy and hope that you will get some good advice from the wise people on here. This just doesn't sound acceptable, nor safe for any of you.
  5. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    If she hasn't already had one, she needs to assessed by Social Services. You need to contact her GP tomorrow morning and insist on a house visit, tell them you can't get her to the surgery. Explain the whole situation and try to have your dad there, too. The GP will get the ball rolling to get her the help that she (and the rest of you) need.
  6. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    Thanks :) It is awful, even now she is trying to chuck things around (picked up a vase- tried to smash it, tried to chuck a book at the TV and is going on and on about leaving and asking us to take her home- Dad is taking his turn with her).

    She had a social services assessment, they weren't very interested, offered a care package that we can't afford. The GP offered an anti-psychotic, which wouldn't help, rather than diazepam, which would. I think we'll take her to the GP tomorrow and ask again.

    The only thing I've done today is look after Granny! :(
  7. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    Where in the country are you?
    Contact your local Dementia advice centre, they will know what services are available, and how to access them.
    Till then if she, really gets out of control, phone the police, they have the ability to get help quickly.

    Good luck
  8. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    Thanks Bod.We're in England, I'll give them a call.

    I really hope she sleeps tonight. I've managed to convince her (probably temporarily) that she has to stay in 'our' (although she lives here too) house overnight and might be able to go somewhere else tomorrow.

    My Dad has a full day at work tomorrow (as does my Mum, who has been writing patient notes all evening[with constant disruptions] since getting back from work at 7pm) so Granny is going to daycare. At the moment all we can manage is one day a fortnight in day-care but I definitely definitely cannot cope alone with her tomorrow when she's this manic (I can cope when she's deluded but manageable).
  9. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    Radcliffe on Trent
    #9 Pickles53, Jan 21, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2015
    Lisa, did your Granny have a financial assessment at the time the care package was offered? If costs are involved either they should be paid from her income not yours or your dad's. If her income is low then she should get help with funding from LA. Does she get Attendance Allowance? If not this should be applied for asap; get Age UK or AS folk to help you with the forms to make sure all the right information is included..

    I know this is not your immediate concern but sounds like it needs to be checked out again as both you and your Dad need some help if you are to continue looking after Granny at home.
  10. keywest67

    keywest67 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2012
    Lisa, I think you really need to get your GP out, you need urgent help, my Dad went to an assessment centre and they will help by getting the correct medication, you can't go on like this can you, feel for you as I know how bad things can be x
  11. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Hello Lisa and welcome to Talking Point although it is sad to hear about your Granny.

    You have had good advice so far but I give below three links. Two give details of Alzheimer's Societies in the UK where I believe you may get extra support especially to put pressure on Social Services. Also you could ring the Helpline who are very experienced and I am sure will give good advice too.

    Please keep in touch as many will offer support and others may have experienced similar problems. I do hope you find a satisfactory solution quickly.

  12. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Lisa I'm very sorry to read about your considerable problems. What a lot you and your family have to contend with.

    In answer to your question about sectioning. Have you thought of phoning the Police the next time your Granny is violent? They will come out and get the ball rolling with the appropriate services. They won't harm her in any way and are very good at kick starting Social Services. It sounds like she does possibly need to be sectioned so her meds can be adjusted.

    Thinking of you

    Lyn T XX
  13. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    Thanks everyone. Having another very difficult time with Granny- she managed to get hold of the iron to try to break the glass in the back door, is running up and downstairs to look for the babies and is being very angry and unpleasant.

    I will keep in mind that we could call the police if things become unbearable- for example if she takes hold of anything to harm us again- thanks Lynn, we might well need to do that.

    Thanks Becky, I will look at the links.

    Bod, thanks I'll try that too.

    opaline, thanks, she's had an assessment but we're going to get diazepam at her doctor's appointment next week.

    Thanks Fozzy, it's not really manageable.

    Oh I just have one question: I have been prescribed 2mg diazepam tablets for anxiety and can pick them up on Monday- do you think I can give Granny one if she needs it on Monday or is it important that it's prescribed for her?
  14. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    it is really important that these tablets are prescribed for her. don't give her yours you could get into trouble both with an adverse reaction and with the law for doing it.

    If you are needing these tablets for anxiety it means your health is being damaged and you should be pushing to have your granny treated or actually taken into a nursing home, hard though that sounds, because diazepam is not a great thing to be taking at your young age. I hate to sound discouraging but please don't take them for longer than a few days, they are highly addictive.
  15. Lisa74

    Lisa74 Registered User

    May 27, 2011
    Thanks Sistermillicent, I so wish she could go into a care home but it's not possible at the moment even though it would be so much better if she could.

    I have a pre-existing disorder (unfortunately it's been an issue since I was 7) but the situation at home is definitely making things worse at the moment! I've only been prescribed 14 tablets but I have heard they're very addictive!
  16. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    I hope they help Lisa and that you get some peace and anxiety free time, I am sure they will x

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