Hello everyone. I’ve been reading a couple of posts to try and see if I could get ideas on dealing with my grandmother, but I figure I would post to get specific advice.
Recently, my 83 year old grandmother was diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies. We have seen a decline in the past year after my grandpa died September 2020. Ever since, she has had all the signs and we got her official diagnosis a few days ago through cognitive testing, but she had been diagnosed through two other neurologists months ago.
She is, as to be expected, not dealing well with it. Not accepting the diagnosis and wanting “a second opinion” but even though she’s really had three. She’s being hardest on my aunt, who is with her while we are 4 hours away, and says that my aunt was the one to diagnose her due to her and my cousin being the ones to help answer and field the questions with her neurologist. They would ask her if she has had any wrecks, for example. She would reply no but my aunt would say that she had a few (which is the truth) when she lightly hit a car in front of her in a drive through and has hit cars with her door in parking lots. Not exactly major wrecks but they should count a bit. Anyway, this is the reason she thinks she wasn’t correctly diagnosed, but all the testing she did on her own (resistance on hand test, seeing if she remembered 3 words the doctor asked her to, etc). We are having trouble trying to tell her this was not done out of spite by my aunt, and my aunt is getting emotionally drained by her mom taking it out on her. We also have trouble convincing her she needs 24/7 care, because she falls a lot, forgets to take medications or takes them wrong, and has two dogs she takes care of but won’t give them up.
There’s so much more I could probably say and give examples of, such as her constant and forgetting of her spending, but I know this post is already long. I really need help and advice on really just telling her we are not trying to diagnose her ourselves, not doing this to hurt her, stuff like that. She thinks we are just “trying to put her in a home” which is not the truth, it’s recommended and she doesn’t want someone staying with her, she says she doesn’t need it. Anyone have advice on navigating? This has happened all so fast and we don’t have any experience.
Recently, my 83 year old grandmother was diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies. We have seen a decline in the past year after my grandpa died September 2020. Ever since, she has had all the signs and we got her official diagnosis a few days ago through cognitive testing, but she had been diagnosed through two other neurologists months ago.
She is, as to be expected, not dealing well with it. Not accepting the diagnosis and wanting “a second opinion” but even though she’s really had three. She’s being hardest on my aunt, who is with her while we are 4 hours away, and says that my aunt was the one to diagnose her due to her and my cousin being the ones to help answer and field the questions with her neurologist. They would ask her if she has had any wrecks, for example. She would reply no but my aunt would say that she had a few (which is the truth) when she lightly hit a car in front of her in a drive through and has hit cars with her door in parking lots. Not exactly major wrecks but they should count a bit. Anyway, this is the reason she thinks she wasn’t correctly diagnosed, but all the testing she did on her own (resistance on hand test, seeing if she remembered 3 words the doctor asked her to, etc). We are having trouble trying to tell her this was not done out of spite by my aunt, and my aunt is getting emotionally drained by her mom taking it out on her. We also have trouble convincing her she needs 24/7 care, because she falls a lot, forgets to take medications or takes them wrong, and has two dogs she takes care of but won’t give them up.
There’s so much more I could probably say and give examples of, such as her constant and forgetting of her spending, but I know this post is already long. I really need help and advice on really just telling her we are not trying to diagnose her ourselves, not doing this to hurt her, stuff like that. She thinks we are just “trying to put her in a home” which is not the truth, it’s recommended and she doesn’t want someone staying with her, she says she doesn’t need it. Anyone have advice on navigating? This has happened all so fast and we don’t have any experience.