Grandma with dementia - explaining to young children

Kaylong

Registered User
Feb 22, 2020
32
0
Hi everyone,

My mother is entering the ‘middle’ stages of Alzheimer’s, and she has not been taking her medication as she should - which makes her aggressive and abusive, mainly to my step-dad who is her full-time carer. We can’t actually see her as she lives abroad, and with the current pandemic all gates seem shut. In fact, we haven’t seen her since she got diagnosed (which she has kept from me) in January 2020. I have two children, my daughter is 4 years old and loves her grandma so much; and her brother was born in June last year and has not met her due to the pandemic. Has anyone on here had to explain dementia to a 4-year old? She is prone to tantrums, melt-downs, and BIG feelings - like all 4 year-olds...

My mother sill remembers her (for now), and my daughter keeps talking about ‘her grandma’ and saying that she never gets to see her. I keep saying that it’s due to ’the virus’ that we can’t fly over, and once we can we will go. I am not entirely sure I want her to meet my mother though given her rapid deterioration and her agressive behavior, though at the same time - I do want mum to meet both children, especially the grandson she has never met. I don’t think there is a specific answer to this question/situation... I’m just getting it off my chest! (Sorry!)

Love and peace to you all.

Kay x
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
73,996
0
72
Dundee
There might be a suitable picture book here -


Also this factsheet might be helpful -

 

Kaylong

Registered User
Feb 22, 2020
32
0
@lemonbalm - wow, this is fabulous! Thank you so much for sharing. I think we’re in for a weekend of learning about the brain in this household.

And thank you so much @Izzy - I will check out all options for books.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,799
0
@lemonbalm - wow, this is fabulous! Thank you so much for sharing. I think we’re in for a weekend of learning about the brain in this household.

And thank you so much @Izzy - I will check out all options for books.

You're welcome! I should have added perhaps suggest to your step-dad that he join the forum if he hasn't already, for support and advice about looking after your mum.
 

Kaylong

Registered User
Feb 22, 2020
32
0
You're welcome! I should have added perhaps suggest to your step-dad that he join the forum if he hasn't already, for support and advice about looking after your mum.
Thanks that is a good idea, but he doesn’t speak English - but I do translate good advise :)
 

Kaylong

Registered User
Feb 22, 2020
32
0
Just in case someone reads this thread at any point and wants to tell a young child about Dementia - I bought two of the books that were recommended in the link above - and ‘Grandma’ is particularly good. :)
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
73,996
0
72
Dundee
Just in case someone reads this thread at any point and wants to tell a young child about Dementia - I bought two of the books that were recommended in the link above - and ‘Grandma’ is particularly good. :)

Thanks for sharing that @Kaylong. It’s good to get some feedback from someone who has actually used some of the recommended books!