Grandma not happy


Registered User
Sep 14, 2004
My Grandma has just been moved from hospital to a care home (she was previously living with my Granddad). She moved on Saturday morning and has been agitated, angry and upset since, saying that my Granddad has now got her where he wants her. She will have said other things too, which have really upset him and my Mum and Aunt (their two daughters).
They have done everything they can, looked into many homes and this was the nicest by a long way. She has her own room and bathroom, and the staff are all trained in caring for people with dementia. There really was no other option, but what can we do about the state she is in? The staff have advised us not to visit at the moment as it will just work her up into even more of a state. How can she forget everything from one minute to the next and yet still remember this from two days ago. Also, she didn't eat when she first went into hospital for a couple of weeks, I'm dreading that happening again.
Does anyone have any advice? We can't reason with her as she can't think rationally. She doesn't want anyone near her or trying to comfort her. She isn't just forgetting that the move ever happened.
By the waym, if hse had gone back to the flat she used to live in with my Granddad she would have been pacing the streets within an hour saying she didn't live there, he wasn't her husband and she was going home.


Registered User
Aug 10, 2004
Hi katy,This must be very upseting for you all but hang in there she will settle down its just learning new routians and getting used to new surroudings that is throwing her.You know she is safe and cared for so i think its a case of day by day i am sure things will get better you have done all you can do.STORM


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
Hi Katy,

I agree with Storm, it will take time for your Grandma to settle, even though it's hard on you and the rest of the family. I still also find it hard to grasp the memory thing, like when my Dad often says my Mum's name in conversation, without thinking about it but if he was to be asked Mum's name he wouldn't remember.

I guess when something is so familiar, it becomes second nature to us, like a pair of old shoes - once they are on your feet they feel really comfortable and don't think about them but when you put on a new pair, they pinch for a while and you complain!

However, you know you've done the right thing when you say about her pacing the streets if she'd have gone back to the flat. If the home is like my Dad's they will soon be happy to let you visit as often as you like after this settling in period.

Best wishes,


Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
West Sussex
Dear Katy, I agree with the others, give her time to settle. This is an awful time for you all, your Grandad in particular, but you did all you could. The situation has now reached a point where the flat would not be safe for her. Your Grandad had no choice. Thinking of you all, love She. XX