My grandad has been diagnosed with dementia and my mum is looking after him. However she won’t accept that he needs help for him and herself as she runs a business as well. She has booked a holiday in August and is expect me to look after him which I don’t feel comfortable with as I have no experience with dementia and don’t live at home anymore. She just won’t accept she needs help and it’s becoming upsetting.
Any ideas please
I’m afraid honesty is the best policy, & a lot can & will change in the next few months. your Mum is dealing with lots of conflicting emotions; so tread carefully I speak from experience & sadly I wasn’t always receptive to my children’s input.
As a teenager I did look after my Grandparent(s) while my parents had a holiday.
BUT... providing meals / sorting shopping out/ 3 times a day visits ( for my Granny I helped her to the commode & emptied it ) in hindsight it wasn’t too bad but I was very close to my Granny & she was a tiny bird like person who adored me- so my visits were pleasant!
Ask your Mum what she means by looking after your Grandad, as difficult as it might be to listen to - find out her expectations.
By finding out what is expected then you can formulate options
Ie - clinical mental health team / district nurse / social services respite care.
I totally sympathise with you not wanting to be the carer while your Mum is on holiday. It’s a situation I won’t put my own daughter in & she offers !!
Personal care needs etc need to be assessed, I know how guilty I felt when I contacted Adult Social services looking for help for Dad( now deceased) & Aged Mother ( very much alive & kicking!)
You have to be really pushy at times to get the help required & perhaps your Mum can’t face all the phone calls & form filling that goes with care. I speak from experience - I run my own business & everything just got too much at lots of times ( & still does!) Perhaps offering to help by making the phone calls - as & when that subject comes up & filling in forms with her might be appropriate
my lovely I hope this subject of care resolves itself
(((Hugs)))