Good evening all, I have rejoined this forum after a number of years as I found it exceptionally helpful. Unfortunately I am now encountering more issues and would really appreciate some advice. This could be lengthy but I feel it’s important to give as much info as possible to secure the best advice so apologies in advance.
I live in NI along with my 90 year old grandmother who would be considered mid to late stage dementia. I was appointed an EPA in 2018 for finance and property only (over here the health isn’t an option).
We have been ticking over ok to be honest, Covid was very detrimental on my grandmother but I was able to see her most days with shopping, meds etc. She lost a shocking amount of weight and deteriorated a lot with little contact but we are, hopefully, out the other side.
Son 1 lives in England and Son 2 lives in France. Son 2 has essentially cut himself off from the family so I’ve no support there. Son 1 didn’t visit throughout Covid times but has now started visiting again. It gives me respite and my gran much needed company. She currently lives alone with carers 4x per day.
At Christmas after Son 1 left, Gran decided she would go walkabout. Police found her in a local park, highly agitated, they couldn’t leave her at home so she was brought to me for the evening. This, thankfully, has not been repeated.
Massive history of falls in her own home, the latest was 4 weeks ago when the morning cater found her at 9am, lying on the bathroom floor covered in blood, bruises and faeces. I had to bring my young children to wait for the paramedics which was extremely traumatic for her & them.
Son 1 came over and she was discharged from hospital. I met with him and explained I was no longer able to be on call 24/7, as much as my granny means to me, I don’t believe she is safe alone. He resisted this and has put “measures” into place so I don’t have to call each day, I.e. a new freezer, UHT milk etc. Before he returned to England I made contact with her social worker and explained my concerns. Gran was assessed as having massive capacity issues but adamant she wanted to stay at home and SW made the informed decision that we must abide by her wishes, understandable but still concerning.
Son 1 has now sent me an email requesting access to my gran’s bank accounts as he is “taking over her care remotely”. He wants his flights paid for by my gran plus access to her accounts to pay for shopping (which I’ve already sorted)
Huge back story to this in terms of Son 1 trying to gain access to Gran’s money but am I correct in thinking that as the EPA for my gran then I’m the sole person to ensure her finances are correctly looked after?
I live in NI along with my 90 year old grandmother who would be considered mid to late stage dementia. I was appointed an EPA in 2018 for finance and property only (over here the health isn’t an option).
We have been ticking over ok to be honest, Covid was very detrimental on my grandmother but I was able to see her most days with shopping, meds etc. She lost a shocking amount of weight and deteriorated a lot with little contact but we are, hopefully, out the other side.
Son 1 lives in England and Son 2 lives in France. Son 2 has essentially cut himself off from the family so I’ve no support there. Son 1 didn’t visit throughout Covid times but has now started visiting again. It gives me respite and my gran much needed company. She currently lives alone with carers 4x per day.
At Christmas after Son 1 left, Gran decided she would go walkabout. Police found her in a local park, highly agitated, they couldn’t leave her at home so she was brought to me for the evening. This, thankfully, has not been repeated.
Massive history of falls in her own home, the latest was 4 weeks ago when the morning cater found her at 9am, lying on the bathroom floor covered in blood, bruises and faeces. I had to bring my young children to wait for the paramedics which was extremely traumatic for her & them.
Son 1 came over and she was discharged from hospital. I met with him and explained I was no longer able to be on call 24/7, as much as my granny means to me, I don’t believe she is safe alone. He resisted this and has put “measures” into place so I don’t have to call each day, I.e. a new freezer, UHT milk etc. Before he returned to England I made contact with her social worker and explained my concerns. Gran was assessed as having massive capacity issues but adamant she wanted to stay at home and SW made the informed decision that we must abide by her wishes, understandable but still concerning.
Son 1 has now sent me an email requesting access to my gran’s bank accounts as he is “taking over her care remotely”. He wants his flights paid for by my gran plus access to her accounts to pay for shopping (which I’ve already sorted)
Huge back story to this in terms of Son 1 trying to gain access to Gran’s money but am I correct in thinking that as the EPA for my gran then I’m the sole person to ensure her finances are correctly looked after?