GP says it's just anxiety

stargirl

Registered User
Sep 16, 2013
13
0
I have serious concerns about my FIL. He is 62 years old and recently was sent to his GP by his manager from work, after forgetting to do an important part of his job. The GP did a range of blood tests and a quick 'who is the prime minister?' type memory screen, and said she would stake her medical licence that he did not have dementia. She diagnosed anxiety and told him to take a month off work.

Six months down the line, he is worse. He has seen two private therapists to resolve the anxiety, but both have said they don't think he has any anxiety problems and have sent him away after one or two sessions.

I am a speech therapist, so I tend to spot the communication symptoms most. He presents with:

* forgetting fairly high frequency words like 'birthday' or 'seatbelt'
* asking the same questions repeatedly in short space of time
* frequently recounts stories from his childhood, seemingly at random. All these stories are repeated frequently.
* does not follow conversations, struggles to process responses or answer direct questions
* gets his pronouns confused (calls my daughter 'he' a lot)
* struggles to tell you anything in detail about his day/week
* obsessive behaviour, like being unable to leave the washing up
* opting out of bigger social occasions
* marked personality changes from who he used to be (I haven't seen this as have only known him as he is now)
* seems to use strategies to hide his difficulties, such as asking stock questions, using delaying phrases when he's trying to remember a word or using an alternative phrase, like 'anniversary of being born' for birthday.

A good example is, a few weeks ago he was over 2 hours late home.
My mother in law was worried and when he came in, asked if he'd been held up at work? He said no. Did he miss the tram? No. Etc etc. The next day she found a photo on his phone - the tram he had been riding had hit a car. He'd got off, taken a picture and had to wait for another tram, but never mentioned any of this until she prompted him.
He was also recently refused service in a pub because the barman thought he was acting drunk. He's actually only had a single pint with a friend.

He still works and drives, and is due to start looking after my baby daughter one day a week when I return to work in October.

The problem is, everyone else is happy with the anxiety diagnosis. It's exactly what we all wanted to hear! I guess I am just hoping for some opinions and advice.
Should I push for him to go back to the doctor, or is it none of my business? He and my mother in law could retire now and put their much-anticipated plans into action, but intend to work for another year or two each. I worry that they are wasting their best years :(
I don't know how to express my concerns about him caring for my daughter (he ADORES her and is amazing, but forgets how to put the car seat in, etc) without raising the whole topic...
 
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Jess26

Registered User
Jan 5, 2011
970
0
Kent
From what you say I think your right to be concerned. I remember mum's GP saying I'm not qualified to diagnose your mum she needs a specialist assessment.
I would be asking the GP for a referal.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
0
North East England
Hello Stargirl and a warm welcome to Talking Point, I'm sorry to hear aboit your worries.

Firstly, if it was me, I'd be making alternative arrangements for the care of my daughter. Her safety must come before the possibility of hurt feelings. You will never rest otherwise. I know this will be extremely hard, I don't envy you.

After that, all you can do is express your concern and encourage him to go back to the GP. Again, very hard. We can't always make people do what we think is best, however hard we try. Believe me, I know! Sorry, didn't mean that to sound patronising.

Do keep posting x
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
0
Cotswolds
Welcome Stargirl. I think you've come to a good place with your concerns about FIL. There is plenty of good advice and understanding here.

i'm no expert so can only tell you that the things you've described match exactly things that were happening to my husband some time before he got worried enough himself to see his GP. The consultant mentioned Mild Cognitive Impairment, and initiated annual assessments for comparison. After the third one Dementia Alzheimer's was diagnosed, and Aricept was made available.

Does your husband notice what you've mentioned? Perhaps, if you both agree, and if your MIL is also concerned, a word from his son might encourage your FIL to ask for a second opinion. If all is well, then he will be reassured, but if your fears are well founded, the sooner your FIL gets medication, the better.