As some of you may recall, my darling John finally closed his eyes 2 days before Christmas, and Christmas Day would have been his birthday. The funeral was 2 weeks later, and my son came over for the funeral week, but I delayed having the ashes committed until my son, who lives in California, could bring his children.
They arrived 10 days ago, and today we had the Committal Service. My son and his children, and my daughter, son-in-law and their daughter were present. The celebrant was dressed in a morning suit, and carried the ashes and a Very Clean Spade!
When we arrived at the flower bed, where John's plaque is attached to the kerb, the hole had been prepared, and there was a lovely perfume from the lavender and jasmine bushes behind. The celebrant read a poem, and we were all invited, in turn, to hold the container of ashes, and say a few words, and we all did, even my 7 year old grandson who announced, in his broad American accent "Gee, Grandpa, you're very heavy!", which broke the ice perfectly.
Then the celebrant emptied the ashes into the hole, and read another poem, urging us to celebrate and remember the good times that John's life had given us, and then covered the hole in, and shook hands with us all.
We had a few minutes to ourselves, and then went to a restaurant for lunch, and we all agreed that the service was perfect. John would have approved, and when his ashes were tipped into the hole, some of the dust blew in the air, which I reckoned was another gesture from John!
This was the final thing I had to do, regarding John, and I'm glad it's been done. But, like many of us here on TP, I "lost" my darling many years ago, and these things are just rituals to me. But both John and I observed all the rituals, and liked them.
I thought I'd share today with my friends on TP, just in case anyone is wondering what happens at a committal.
They arrived 10 days ago, and today we had the Committal Service. My son and his children, and my daughter, son-in-law and their daughter were present. The celebrant was dressed in a morning suit, and carried the ashes and a Very Clean Spade!
When we arrived at the flower bed, where John's plaque is attached to the kerb, the hole had been prepared, and there was a lovely perfume from the lavender and jasmine bushes behind. The celebrant read a poem, and we were all invited, in turn, to hold the container of ashes, and say a few words, and we all did, even my 7 year old grandson who announced, in his broad American accent "Gee, Grandpa, you're very heavy!", which broke the ice perfectly.
Then the celebrant emptied the ashes into the hole, and read another poem, urging us to celebrate and remember the good times that John's life had given us, and then covered the hole in, and shook hands with us all.
We had a few minutes to ourselves, and then went to a restaurant for lunch, and we all agreed that the service was perfect. John would have approved, and when his ashes were tipped into the hole, some of the dust blew in the air, which I reckoned was another gesture from John!
This was the final thing I had to do, regarding John, and I'm glad it's been done. But, like many of us here on TP, I "lost" my darling many years ago, and these things are just rituals to me. But both John and I observed all the rituals, and liked them.
I thought I'd share today with my friends on TP, just in case anyone is wondering what happens at a committal.
