Goodbye Mum

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
1,213
0
South east
We applied for probate on 12th of March at Ipswich office. When I had heard nothing by 10th of May I emailed only to be told that the probate office we had sent the application to had closed and all mail was sent to Newcastle and they had not received the form from HMRC. I phoned HMRC and they had sent the form to the London office and it was finally sent to Newcastle that day. It’s now 6 weeks on and still nothing. I emailed on Monday for an update but no response 4 days later. They normally reply within 24 hours. Their website says they are 10 days behind schedule but it seems more like 10 weeks.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
So there have been developments.
Still nothing from the probate office & I have asked the executor to chase up. Clearly as some of you have pointed out that there are delays there which does buy us more time in clearing out the bungalow. Our buyer might not be happy but she was aware that it is a probate sale so at this moment in time, I don’t think an early August or before completion date is achievable.
I will chase the executor again.

Sadly I don’t think anyone will be getting rich from the life insurance payout. I’m actually angry on my mum’s behalf but a payout of £723 yes that is not a typo, £723 will not make a dent in the estate for probate. My mum paid over £7k into a scheme that paid out £723.00. It’s a disgrace. My cousin G is outraged that the amount is so paltry but I have heard that a lot of these over 50’s schemes were the same & barely pay out anything at all. It is still something but it doesn’t take us over any thresholds. C’est La Vie!

I was very fortunate the other week in that I won a nice sum of money which very much helps my immediate future over the next few months & lets me make some great business investments & will pay for our holiday at the end of September & I think we might go away for a few days somewhere warm before then.

The mess with the care home fees has been sorted out as such in that I have a figure & this allows me to actually budget for a more expensive house so after a third visit to the house I offered on, I decided that it wasn’t the right house for me & have decided to pull out.
I’m still fighting as regards the care home fees & I still think the care assessment ruling was excessive & unfair but that may help me out later on.

I pulled out of the house sale for several reasons but the estate agent blatantly lied to me saying the property had nearly all been cleared when it had hardly been touched & after all the delays to the sale process, it didn’t leave me with much confidence. Also it seemed to be tight getting in & out of the close & even though there is a drive for the house if someone blocked us in then not good if we are doing an event!
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
705
0
So there have been developments.
Still nothing from the probate office & I have asked the executor to chase up. Clearly as some of you have pointed out that there are delays there which does buy us more time in clearing out the bungalow. Our buyer might not be happy but she was aware that it is a probate sale so at this moment in time, I don’t think an early August or before completion date is achievable.
I will chase the executor again.

Sadly I don’t think anyone will be getting rich from the life insurance payout. I’m actually angry on my mum’s behalf but a payout of £723 yes that is not a typo, £723 will not make a dent in the estate for probate. My mum paid over £7k into a scheme that paid out £723.00. It’s a disgrace. My cousin G is outraged that the amount is so paltry but I have heard that a lot of these over 50’s schemes were the same & barely pay out anything at all. It is still something but it doesn’t take us over any thresholds. C’est La Vie!

I was very fortunate the other week in that I won a nice sum of money which very much helps my immediate future over the next few months & lets me make some great business investments & will pay for our holiday at the end of September & I think we might go away for a few days somewhere warm before then.

The mess with the care home fees has been sorted out as such in that I have a figure & this allows me to actually budget for a more expensive house so after a third visit to the house I offered on, I decided that it wasn’t the right house for me & have decided to pull out.
I’m still fighting as regards the care home fees & I still think the care assessment ruling was excessive & unfair but that may help me out later on.

I pulled out of the house sale for several reasons but the estate agent blatantly lied to me saying the property had nearly all been cleared when it had hardly been touched & after all the delays to the sale process, it didn’t leave me with much confidence. Also it seemed to be tight getting in & out of the close & even though there is a drive for the house if someone blocked us in then not good if we are doing an event!

Hi Kikki, I have been catching up with your posts, sorry to read about your mum's life insurance policy, how disappointing for you and terrible that they can get away with that after paying so much in, can it not be reported for being mis-sold?

Great news about your win, I think you deserved that after all you have been through. I'm sorry though to hear about the house purchase, however, you have probably made the right decision to pull out, especially as you had misgivings about it. Like I've said before once you find the right house, you will know instantly and fingers crossed all that goes through uneventfully.

It is a right pain the Probate taking so long, it seems I was lucky managing to get mine in and done before the announcement of the changes causing a rush of applications. I hope there isn't too much of a delay and I'm sure the buyer of your mum's home will understand. There is still over a month to go until August and as long as her Solicitor has been progressing with searches etc and the financials are in place, it shouldn't take long to complete and exchange once you get Probate. For you it's only a matter of signing some documents for the sale to go through.

Good luck with everything.
Elle x
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,259
0
High Peak
Hi Kikki,

So sorry to hear about the insurance policy (but very pleased to hear of your other win!)

My mum has a similar policy that was taken out 20+ years ago. Like your mum, she's already paid into it far, far more than the sum she will receive on death and what's worse is that she's still paying the bl**dy thing! The premiums are very small but if we don't continue to pay, she won't get any payout at all. :mad:
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Hi Kikki,

So sorry to hear about the insurance policy (but very pleased to hear of your other win!)

My mum has a similar policy that was taken out 20+ years ago. Like your mum, she's already paid into it far, far more than the sum she will receive on death and what's worse is that she's still paying the bl**dy thing! The premiums are very small but if we don't continue to pay, she won't get any payout at all. :mad:

Ah thank you re the insurance policy - I mean at least it is something & anything was a bonus was how I viewed it as it was unexpected but I have no idea what the sum assured was when my mum signed up for it. The thing was it was after the insurance industry was regulated in 1988 so I am not sure I can say it was mis sold.

The executor is on radio silence with me at the moment so I have no idea what he is doing. It’s getting me annoyed because I could just get on with stuff. I am in touch with the bungalow buyer & we have struck up a nice friendship so I want to keep her on side. My mum was only paying £6 a month but over 27 yrs that amounted to over £7k so to come out with that paltry amount doesn’t sound right at all. I think I might have to ring them but i’m not sure if they will speak to me, not being the executor. This issue is starting to get very tedious.

@Jaded'n'faded it seems like your mum has a very similar policy for sure. I think a lot of people have been caught out by these schemes
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Hi Kikki, I have been catching up with your posts, sorry to read about your mum's life insurance policy, how disappointing for you and terrible that they can get away with that after paying so much in, can it not be reported for being mis-sold?

Great news about your win, I think you deserved that after all you have been through. I'm sorry though to hear about the house purchase, however, you have probably made the right decision to pull out, especially as you had misgivings about it. Like I've said before once you find the right house, you will know instantly and fingers crossed all that goes through uneventfully.

It is a right pain the Probate taking so long, it seems I was lucky managing to get mine in and done before the announcement of the changes causing a rush of applications. I hope there isn't too much of a delay and I'm sure the buyer of your mum's home will understand. There is still over a month to go until August and as long as her Solicitor has been progressing with searches etc and the financials are in place, it shouldn't take long to complete and exchange once you get Probate. For you it's only a matter of signing some documents for the sale to go through.

Good luck with everything.
Elle x

Hi @Elle3 thank you for the good luck! I think the house on the corner is the one for me unless another house comes along that is more complete that can best it!
I think my buyers have pushed all they can. The survey on my mum’s house is going ahead on Monday & that is the last thing. They are cash buyers as they are downsizing. Their buyers are not in a chain & have a mortgage in place so not having the grant of probate will delay matters.
In an ideal world, an August completion date would suit me fine as I want to move into a house that is all ready for us all so no upheaval with the cats.
I have asked the executor AGAIN to ring the probate office & ask where our application
is in the process. I don’t know the ID number of it as otherwise I would do it myself. Ah well I need to crack on with my orders now & wait!

I’ll keep you posted x
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
No joy from the executor as yet. My buyer has told me that basically everything is done from their end bar the survey on the bungalow so normally it will be 4/6 weeks until completion day. I have a feeling that the grant of probate is delayed & therefore will delay everything else.

I know the executor is working a lot of hours & only has 1 day off a week. It tends to fall on a Thursday so I hope he will do everything then that he needs to do.

It feels a bit weird tonight. My mum has been gone for 3 months now. And the next month will feel weird because I will be emptying out her bungalow as it goes on to be sold to someone else. I really like the lady buying it & I know she will love the bungalow like my mum did so that makes me feel good.

Those of you who might be spiritual in nature will know the significance of feathers - well I had one fall against the side window of our car on the passenger side. It came down with some force it seemed & stuck to the window & then a few days after, I had my win. A few days ago, an identical feather was at my feet just before I opened the door to our house. I do feel the feathers are messages & they are comforting indeed.
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Oh dear, @Kikki21 - I do sympathise. I'm going through a lot of stress at present about our own house sale, which is going through, but we've nowhere to go, as the sellers of the house we like have not even applied for probate yet, owing to a family dispute.

I do hope you get some good news soon about probate and houses, and that in the meantime, you're able to cope with the stress and have some relaxation and enjoyment.

Love & best wishes for this weekend and the coming week. xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Oh dear, @Kikki21 - I do sympathise. I'm going through a lot of stress at present about our own house sale, which is going through, but we've nowhere to go, as the sellers of the house we like have not even applied for probate yet, owing to a family dispute.

I do hope you get some good news soon about probate and houses, and that in the meantime, you're able to cope with the stress and have some relaxation and enjoyment.

Love & best wishes for this weekend and the coming week. xx

Hi again @Marcelle123 just replied on your own post!
Sadly I was working all weekend but we didn’t have to set up on the Friday thankfully as it was an event starting at 11.30am. Friday morning saw us at my mum’s house & I sold the kitchen table & chairs, washing machine & fridge freezer to a lady whose daughter was moving into a first rented house with her boyfriend. My mum would have likes stuff like that to go to a young couple.
I have a lot of other stuff to sell & shift & a bit worried about it all. I have cut back on events this month as there is a lot to clear out. My fiance’s son is over in the UK so he is spending time with him & so he should but that means that I don’t have time to spend with my fiancé sorting out the house. I may just clear out & put stuff in storage & sort from there.

So probate - the executor has not heard from them in the 20 working days so he chased & they couldn’t even find him on the system. I’m not sure he understands stuff so i’m going to ring them tomorrow & chase as now a lot depends on probate coming & coming ASAP.

Basically my buyers have got draft contracts drawn up but they are awaiting contracts from our side but our solicitors need to wait for grant of probate to come to do that apparently. At this stage, everyone is ok waiting but how long will be have to wait? If it is 2/3 weeks then that is ok although no ideal for me as I can see us moving in wedding show season & I will not be best pleased but hey ho! Xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
We viewed a house on Friday & really liked it but the house that has got our attention is the house on the corner diagonally opposite to us. I did the pros & cons thing again & it still came out on top. It appears that the people next door have moved out? A lot of furniture & appliances are out on the front & there were cars turning up at times but no big vans or anything so don’t know if the house is rented or owned?

So things have moved on Friday & today (Monday) as I made an offer, revised an offer & got my offer accepted. I went a few thousand more than I wanted but it’s still less expensive than the other house by £10k & every penny helps..... so because the house is sold via a modern auction method, the sale should complete in 56 days but how do I know that it will while I wait for probate? So they have to ask the vendor & I will have to keep everything crossed & ring the probate office & pray! Xx
 

silversea2020

Registered User
May 12, 2019
81
0
Just to say the probate office possibly has several week delays ....I only say this because my MIL’s court hearing in March for a CoP Deputy was awarded ......we are STILL waiting notification as to whom will be the independent deputy despite attempting to find out ....apparently big, big delays which really is unacceptable but nothing can we do! Good luck with your house
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Progress.... so I rang the Probate office & it was good news in that they found the application on the system for a start & that it is taking 6 to 8 weeks to issue probates. Which means that the 8 weeks from the application going in actually finishes next week so basically it should be issued imminently & I also got the reference number & sent it to the executor. I knew he hadn’t understood things the other day! So as that seems to be the only delay in completing sales & contracts, we can move swiftly on.

In fact, I got my offer accepted on the house on the corner & after explaining what I needed from the executor, the auction reservation fee is paid. They actually lowered their fee to get the deal done which saved me £1300 so now the paperwork mountain starts & we will try & complete in 56 days time. Eek! Xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
It’s been a rush of activity with everything so as I said the reservation fee is paid, my ID checked & the memo of sale of the bungalow sent to the auction house as proof of funds.

Everyone is getting the wrong end of the stick when I say the house has been sold via auction as it implies it is a wreck or a repossession. It is a modern auction method a bit like EBay only it wasn’t actually like that & I negotiated over the phone.

The executor was a bit reluctant releasing the funds so I had to explain why in detail as this secured the house for me. I have got conveyancing solicitors as well so next thing will be getting a survey done on the house & hope it is all ok.
The bungalow survey came back with some minor points which the new owners want to check out ( they are in the building trade etc) but they also want to measure things up. I’m actually quite excited to know what they are planning to do. We will spend quite a lot of time at the bungalow in the next few weeks clearing everything out. I have 2 events on this weekend & then 1 in 2 weeks time & have done this so we get time to clear it out. I’m not so bothered about starting to pack here as I want all renovation work to be done before we move in & we can live here while it is being done.

I changed my mind yesterday about having the hall way reinstalled as I think building a porch would work better and act as an entrance to the house & might possibly be cheaper but I might be wrong so I will ask the builder to give me a quote. Hopefully we can get that sorted next week as I also want the house joining to the outhouse area & the kitchen & dining room being joined together. Then there are minor decor decisions to be made such as flooring & wallpaper, paint etc. It’s all go for sure but also very exciting too!
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Wow, @Kikki21 - good news about the probate application, and exciting plans about your house.

Have only just read your update, as we were up in York, and thank the Lord, have found a house to rent for six months while we try to sort out our house purchase.

Love & best wishes,
Marcelle xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Wow, @Kikki21 - good news about the probate application, and exciting plans about your house.

Have only just read your update, as we were up in York, and thank the Lord, have found a house to rent for six months while we try to sort out our house purchase.

Love & best wishes,
Marcelle xx

Thank you so much as ever @Marcelle123 - I hope things will go ahead smoothly now but I have a lot to do & I am now on my own.

I’m not going to bore you with the details but I have split up with my fiancé. In truth, it has been a long time in coming & to be honest things were rocky before my mum ended up in hospital & her death basically just delayed the inevitable.
I caught him out lying to me not once but twice in quick successful. He didn’t seem bothered & I asked to see his phone to prove he wasn’t lying about other things. He agreed to let me see the phone & then attempted to snatch it back after 2 minutes so I think that says it all. In the scrap that followed, he severely bruised my hand.

He fled off to his mum’s & then wouldn’t answer his phone, coward that he is, he got his visiting son to answer it. Yep get your child involved in your break up -says it all! He then came round to start getting his stuff out of the house with his son.

We had not even talked about what was going on so he clearly knew he had gone too far. His son started trying to taunt me on my doorstep so I told him that he wasn’t welcome & that if he continued to come in then he would be trespassing on the property. His son called the police on me so I had to do the same -. Total waste of police time as not necessary. I apologised to the police officer. I am not having a rude 18 yr old mouth off at me while his father does nothing.
So he has collected a car full & there is still so much stuff of his here & I cannot clear it out & move my stuff round until he gets it out. I’m also planning to get the stuff that I am selling from my mum’s over here so that I am not constantly between houses & so I can’t do that either.

It’s not what I was expecting at all & I felt we were on the verge of a fresh start, holiday booked ( now cancelled) & now this xx
 

Marcelle123

Registered User
Nov 9, 2015
4,865
0
Yorkshire
Thank you so much as ever @Marcelle123 - I hope things will go ahead smoothly now but I have a lot to do & I am now on my own.

I’m not going to bore you with the details but I have split up with my fiancé. In truth, it has been a long time in coming & to be honest things were rocky before my mum ended up in hospital & her death basically just delayed the inevitable.
I caught him out lying to me not once but twice in quick successful. He didn’t seem bothered & I asked to see his phone to prove he wasn’t lying about other things. He agreed to let me see the phone & then attempted to snatch it back after 2 minutes so I think that says it all. In the scrap that followed, he severely bruised my hand.

He fled off to his mum’s & then wouldn’t answer his phone, coward that he is, he got his visiting son to answer it. Yep get your child involved in your break up -says it all! He then came round to start getting his stuff out of the house with his son.

We had not even talked about what was going on so he clearly knew he had gone too far. His son started trying to taunt me on my doorstep so I told him that he wasn’t welcome & that if he continued to come in then he would be trespassing on the property. His son called the police on me so I had to do the same -. Total waste of police time as not necessary. I apologised to the police officer. I am not having a rude 18 yr old mouth off at me while his father does nothing.
So he has collected a car full & there is still so much stuff of his here & I cannot clear it out & move my stuff round until he gets it out. I’m also planning to get the stuff that I am selling from my mum’s over here so that I am not constantly between houses & so I can’t do that either.

It’s not what I was expecting at all & I felt we were on the verge of a fresh start, holiday booked ( now cancelled) & now this xx


I had just filled in a reply on my thread 'Coming to terms with the loss of my Mum', and then I saw this.

What a nasty thing to happen, @Kikki21, and so upsetting.
You will be feeling very stressed and shocked - I hope things settle down, and that in the long run, it turns out to be for the best.

Be kind to yourself - will be thinking of you & saying a prayer that all will be well.
Love & best wishes,
Marcelle xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thank you everyone, the split was a long time coming. I have been unhappy for months on end & just stayed because I kept thinking it would get better but it never did. I realised that his life had not changed in the 6 yrs from his divorce & that he had nothing to show for anything & that his life would never move on because he was happy to continually keep sinking & that wasn’t for me. I still don’t understand the timing of it but I’m very glad that he will not be part of my new life because he doesn’t deserve to be in it. He owes me over £10k & I know I have kissed goodbye to that but to be honest having him out of my life is actually priceless.

And the best news of all came yesterday as THE GRANT OF PROBATE is through so full steam ahead for everything!