1. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    I've been away in Yorkshire for a week's holiday - sorry to hear that the houses available are not quite right, @Kikki21, and hope that the situation improves. Glad that you're gradually getting there with your Mum's will. Hope this weekend is a nice one for you. Best wishes, Marcelle xx
     
  2. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    Hi @Marcelle123 lovely to hear from you & I hope you have had a lovely break & things are progressing but my house hunting isn’t!! Xx
     
  3. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    So things are progressing well in some respects. All the money from my mum’s bank accounts is now with the executor. Phew.
    I hope the Coop have refunded the 2nd funeral payment. I will check that is the case.
    The probate forms were done online & receipt acknowledged. We should have a decision by the 20th June. Within 20 working days it said on the receipt.

    I hope that we get a house sold in the chain for the bungalow before that time so we can get that all sorted.

    And I just need to buy a house. That is not going well & is harder than I anticipated.
    I saw the house across the road & that is up for sale for not a lot of money on the face of it but it is for sale under on line auction. If I bid successfully then I have to pay £6k to secure the house, that’s on top of the offer price & even if the seller were to sell it to me privately then she is liable for the costs! In effect I would be buying to buy her house & pay her fees! It’s valid for 12 months. In terms of space, the house is amazing but it’s not quite perfect inside. I like it but I would have to see what the final bill is to the council for Care home fees.

    I have made a complaint about how they have been through all this & against the CHC process. I do believe hearing other stories of assessments that the assessor was very unfair with my mum & I also never got the chance to appeal either. Some people will undoubtedly not agree with this but I do believe that with the evidence of the consultant & my mum’s own GP that she should have had an end of life care package in place - it’s not about the social aspect of stuff, it was all do with her health. I think it is worth a try in any case & if you don’t try, you don’t get.
     
  4. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    Hi @lis66 it has been non stop to be honest & I really need a proper break but not likely to get one for a while yet. It’s hard to believe that my mum has now been gone for not just quite 2 months.
    I do miss her. Even though at one time I didn’t see or speak to her ( still heard her though) for 7 months due to her attitude when I had a miscarriage. At least she was around. And now she isn’t.
    I’ve slackened off doing stuff at the bungalow as I have had to take some pressure off myself & at the moment we are all waiting for my buyers to either sell their house & enter a new chain or ideally for their son to sell his house so we can get moving. Xx
     
  5. lis66

    lis66 Registered User

    Aug 7, 2015
    222
    You are dealing with a lot Kikki21 I can't believe its been two months since your mum passed,so sorry you had a miscarriage,I also had two myself,the first time my mum said I was feeling sorry for myself ,I gave her a direct answer back ,my mum could be quite hurtful at times and controlling if I had let her be. Dads been offered a brand new apartment and he's going to take it and give it a try for himself and mum,much safer no stairs,but I can't sell the house ,incase he doesn't like living there after a few months , hopefully he will settle ,am dreading clearing the house out.Its awful when buying a house and there's a chain etc,really hope you get sorted soon xxx
     
  6. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    There is only me dealing with it too @lis66 - my fiancé has been there for me but he doesn’t have much of a clue sometimes & seemed quite surprised that I said I missed my mum the other day.
    Considering that my mum was absolutely desperate for me to have kids, her reaction to me having a miscarriage was very odd. I think she might have been suffering from the first symptoms of dementia in 2012. She did have some odd moments which we put down to her age & being eccentric until a more severe decline was noticed in 2015. My mum was also hurtful & controlling or she tried to be.

    Clearing a house or bungalow out is hard work & takes time. Pace yourself & try to go through room by room. Hopefully your dad will like his apartment & you can sell the house. Don’t worry about clearing it before it goes on sale. Tidy it up to look presentable. This is what I did with my mum’s bungalow. Now phase 2 starts with more clearing, selling stuff what I can etc. Xx
     
  7. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    It’s 2 months today since my mum passed. It feels like it happened ages ago & not 2 months ago. I am sure that is how the brain protects you, I feel so much has happened since then!

    I’m now seriously thinking of taking a builder round to the house we have seen twice to get a quote for work to be done or we just make an offer & see how it goes. It is going to be an offer that is well under the asking price but this would be a renovation job house with rewiring to be done, new kitchen & new bathroom. New decor.
     
  8. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,667
    Nottinghamshire
    Could you live in the house while the work is being done @Kikki21. Unless you’re planning to do a lot of the labouring yourselves I’d be surprised if you got much change from £15-20k. Are the windows and doors ok? That’s a big expense if they want replacing.

    My dad’s been gone for 5 months now. Sometimes it seems in the distant past and others I’ll find myself in the supermarket thinking “Dad would like that for dinner..”. And then remember :(
     
  9. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    I can spend £15 to £20k on the house if I get it at a reasonable price. It may be that people are put off by all the clutter inside & when I say clutter, I mean clutter. I feel genuinely sorry for who will end up with the task of clearing that house out.
    I thought my mum’s house was bad. This is about 20 times worse. It is literally rammed with stuff from top to bottom. As I understand it, the person who owned it had to go into care so court permissions have to be granted to sort it out by the family but it sounds like a COP job or POA job & not that dramatic.

    It looks like the doors & windows are all ok & the boiler is relatively new but everything else would have to be redone. Rewiring, decor, flooring, new kitchen, new bathroom.

    I can strip wallpaper but I am really sensitive to dust & chemicals so I just choose stuff & get a pro to do it for me!
     
  10. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    So I went to see a house that has just come back on the market this morning. I liked it but I didn’t love it. It is priced to sell but you could move onto this one & do it up although I would prefer for the work to be all done before moving in.
    I would still have to spend 10 to 15k on it which would bring me up to the top of my budget.
    It’s still in the running but with that in mind, I did put in an offer for the property I have seen twice.

    It’s a well below asking price offer considering that it needs to be completely refurbished. They are apparently going to clear it out next month. I’m not sure if solicitors are dealing with it all as it takes a few days for offers to be considered.
    I said that with looking at everything that needs to be done with it then I arrived at the offer figure. I prefer this property’s location as it is in a cul de sac & although I like the outside look of the property this morning. I am sure we can tidy this one up & get it looking amazing. Fingers crossed!
     
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    I am meeting my cousin G tomorrow for lunch & it will be great to see you. We keep in touch regularly but I haven’t seen her since my mum’s funeral.
    All being well that is. My fiance’s mum was taken to hospital this morning. She recently had a procedure done in a hospital where small nickel coils were put in her lungs to help her breathing as she has late stage COPD. She ended up being ill with a hospital infection though but she regularly picks up infections.

    Apparently she woke up in horrendous pain today so we were woken at 7.30am with one of my fiance’s half sisters sounding completely hysterical about it on the phone saying they were ringing 111. I’m not being funny but if someone is in that much pain that left over morphine isn’t helping then you ring 999! In any case, his mum has now been admitted to hospital & is on a ward but they don’t know what is wrong with her. She has either had a heart attack, or has got pneumonia or has cracked a rib. My fiancé has now gone over to the hospital & i’m not sure if he will be there all night?

    I don’t have a relationship with any of his family ( that’s mainly their choice) his mum has bullied him most of his life & his 2 half sisters have learned to do the same off her & they belittle him at every opportunity. I stay away from toxic people like that for the sake of my own health.
    His mum has never liked anyone he has had a relationship with & has always cast aversions to anyone. His ex girlfriend told me that his family are a complete joke!
     
  12. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Oh, really sorry to hear about your fiance's mother's health crisis, just at a time when you have so much stress about housing & finance, not to mention the grief of your Mum's passing.

    Thinking of you, and hoping for the best. xx
     
  13. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you @Marcelle123 - sadly it is business as usual with my fiance’s Mum. She is regularly ill unfortunately. She is still in hospital & the dr’s think that the pain she was having is due to her operation. It sounds horrendous though. She is feeling better now & at least she wasn’t having a heart attack. I’m just not sure how she can go on like that. She is only in her 70’s but I really thought she wasn’t going to survive this latest episode.

    I’m still waiting to hear about the house offer.
    A house has come back onto the market that I have seen previously. I would say it has got the ideal layout & is the right price, however it is on a relatively busy side road & therefore that counts it out! So frustrating though!

    I had a lovely time with my cousin yesterday - we talk non stop when we are out & we discussed the issue of my mum’s ashes. There is a lot of bureaucracy surrounding all of this & she feels like I do that it will not only cost a lot of money to organise but also ongoing costs too.
    She says while her brother is still alive then he will look after the graves but after him then she doesn’t know if his son will do the same. The thing is that I am also very unlikely to ever go back to that part of Poland - in fact the last time I went to the actual cemetery, was for my grandma’s funeral in 1983/4. She said that I could take some ashes to Poland & scatter them there & maybe take some ashes to make into jewellery & then bury the ashes here with a small plaque so at least I can visit if I want to.

    It sounds a better solution to me but I know a lot of people would just want to carry out their loved ones last wishes regardless so it is a really difficult subject. Xx
     
  14. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    600
    Hi Kikki21, it is a difficult one, knowing what to do for the best with the Ashes. I think though I agree with your cousin, it sounds like a very good compromise to scatter some ashes in Poland and do something at home with the rest. It will save a lot of money and hassle and it will be good for you having somewhere close by to home to visit and remember your mum. Spending a little of the money you will save on a piece of jewellery with some of her ashes in, also sounds like a lovely idea and something you can treasure.

    I hope your not rushing into buying a house and making too many compromises due to too little choice, make sure you choose the best one for you, especially if it's going to be your forever home. You are in an excellent position as a buyer with no chain technically, so make the most of it. I always regret not bargaining more and rushing in too quickly, when my husband to be and I bought our first home. I'm a big believer in fate, so I'm sure the right house will come at the right time for you, fingers crossed.

    Take care.
    Elle x
     
  15. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    I know what you are saying @Elle3 about these houses. None of them have given me the wow factor feeling because not many of them have been in the state to go wow - most of the ones I have seen need modernising or work doing to them or both. It is a case of which shell of a house will suit me best, what value can I add to the property for a future sale as I don’t think it will be my forever home. I really don’t like moving but I can see that in a few years time, something better might come up for me.

    We are a bit unusual in that we need space & a lot of it. Both of us work from home so we need 2 bedrooms and/ or a dining room to achieve that plus other storage.

    The house I have offered on has a porch at the back of the house which is close to the kitchen wall & the outhouse. If I could join them altogether then that solves a lot of issues for utility & storage as the structures are there already. They don’t need heating there, just power & light but might need plumbing & piping.

    The house I saw yesterday has scope but is currently £14k more expensive plus I would still need to spend money on it. Plus I think it would benefit from a single storey side extension to give us what we want. I really could do with quotes from builders! X
     
  16. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    I was looking through photos on my phone as was rejigging them into Albums & was looking at the deterioration of how my mum looked in a short space of time from her birthday in Sept to Christmas & then the short time from that to my birthday in Feb & then when she went into hospital. It was quite startling to see really.

    I feel a lot better than I did do a couple of months ago but I think I was just on auto pilot for a lot of the time back then as I can’t remember a lot of stuff that my fiancé tells me he told me.

    I have kept myself very busy but then I have to do that in order to keep money coming in. I really don’t have a choice. Thankfully yesterday’s event was a much better one than the previous 2 I have done. It still wasn’t great & traders that had done it before said that it was less busy than normal. This weekend coming, I am doing a big 2 day event so fingers crossed for a bumper weekend for sure. Depending on the success of that event, I may do another weekend event & I am down to do another weekend event at the end of June as well.

    Due to all this work activity, the holiday is having to be postponed for the 4th time. It’s getting a bit silly to be honest & I wish the flights had not been booked but then again I didn’t book them & said at the time that I didn’t think we could afford to go! I really could do with a holiday that is for sure. The short break I had was lovely but just too short!
     
  17. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    I had some really good news from the buyers of the bungalow at the weekend, they have accepted an offer on their house & their buyers are not in a chain so this could mean that things start to really move for the conveyancing etc.

    So things could be looking very different in 12 weeks time which also means that I will have to get clearing out with the bungalow which I haven’t had time to do in recent weeks so yet again, I am having to make time from somewhere.... still no joy from hearing back about my offer either. No other suitable houses have appeared on the market as yet.
     
  18. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Nice to hear from you, @Kikki21. Best wishes for the bungalow sale & sorting turning out well, and I hope you do have a bumper weekend. xx
     
  19. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,944
    Female
    East Midlands
    Thank you @Marcelle123 good to hear from you too & hope you are keeping well too. So the estate agents have said to my potential sellers that the chain is now complete & ready to go so this could sway them. I have a feeling that I may have to go up a bit more to get the house but fingers crossed that they will accept what I have offered.
    In other news, my fiancé is stranded in between here & his flats as his car has broken down but it is being towed to his mechanic so all his plans have now gone to bits. His mum is still in hospital & he was due to see her today so that won’t go down well at all. We really need the car to be in working order as we are doing this event at the weekend. We had hoped to stop over locally as it is a bit further away but I don’t think this will happen now as this repair is going to cost money & no doubt he will ask to borrow some off me. Xx
     
  20. Marcelle123

    Marcelle123 Registered User

    Problems! Hope they get sorted out much better than you expect.
    Thinking of you. xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.