Well I have been a very silly billy , only myself to blame here , on Saturday while Mary was here she was asking questions about extended family , I started talking and managed somehow to get on to a rather unkind person and was explaining about the many cruel things this person had done to my wonderful in laws , Mum mooched in and was looking perplexed so I said “ oh you did lovely things to help negate the unkindness didn’t you , Mum then said sshh she’s coming , confused I looked to see where mum was looking and it was my daughter walking up from the garden , I quickly said no mum that’s not T that’s F and she is lovely and kind , conversation was ended and we got on and did something else , since then Mum is glaring at daughter , ignores her if she speaks , gives her the look , other daughter and I are on a charm offensive , getting F to take Nan lunch , cake , to smile at her and say hi Nan , here’s a cake etc , Mum just blanks her and glares . How on earth do we get past this ?! I’m guessing Mum doesn’t remember why she is annoyed but remembers a bad feeling .
Called Gp earlier as there are becoming more issues at DC , each day there seems to be something , Mon mum said that a lady there is stalking her , the other day it was a woman annoying her , following her . Gp said maybe we could give an anti psychotic to head off a crisis but he referred me to crisis team ,they rang earlier and said mum isn’t depressed as she is eating and drinking ok so no increase is Sertraline , she isn’t bad enough to need anti psychotics so ring them if I need help or support . He asked if I felt at risk and I said no , that I can normally calm her down . Maybe I said the wrong thing . He says obviously her dementia is getting worse .......really ! I worked that out myself , will check her for a UTI in the morning . He says I am lucky she goes to DC twice a week and eats and drinks well . She has though refused ice cream 3 times this week and seems to be off with her favourite granddaughter . I am feeling like I’m treading water. Maybe I am over reacting and mum will get over issue with my daughter but as she is 20 stone she could easily overpower her and it worries me enough to now not want to leave her alone with Mum . Just over analysing everything amd wondering wether to drop a day at club or drop it all together , though I would struggle to entertain her constantly , but not sure if it’s the issue at club that is making her worse , she isn’t aggressive , def seems a bit paranoid and agitated . She is hardly urinating at all during the day , considering she has about 10 drinks a day , she gets up virtually every hour in the night , she comes out to bathroom and if anyone is out here she will go back to her room so hubby is having to go to bed early so she can come out and go to bathroom . She takes her pj’s off and puts bra and undies on and he is like a rabbit in headlights . Feel we are on a downward spiral and time left with mum here with us is rapidly coming to an end . Having to balance everyone’s needs . To be honest things were like this for dad for a fair few months even a year or more before he died , they were barely talking and mum was spending days on end in her room in a huff with him over something he was meant to have said or done and Mum has been falling out with people left right and centre for a few years , it’s hard when it’s my child though as she lives here too and it’s upsetting her enormously , I have lied to her and said I think Nan is having a struggle to remember who she is , maybe a huge error but I don’t want her to know her nan dislikes her intensely .