I am taking the plunge and starting my own thread , I want to be able to look back and see how things were and how we move forward . Thank you to a very kind and inspirational poster (you know who you are ) for giving me the encouragement to do it . It feels daunting and ever so slightly scary but hey I live with Dementia in my life 24 hrs a day so this can’t be that hard surely ?!
Pre April 2019
lots of time spent helping care for dad who was really quite poorly and mum who has Alzheimer’s , Taking them for hospital appointments and treatment etc . Having mum to my house for a day once a week to give him a break.
April 2019. After asking dad about a plan B should anything happen to him , I spend 3 days up there looking after a very ill dad and helping mum. I leave theirs for an hour to pop home, I ring mum to make sure all ok, she says she can’t find dad , ask her to look for him as he was in bed when I left him . You can guess the next part , my beloved dad had died ?, I did no more but flew out the door with hubby in tow and we reached their house in under 2 minutes but must of felt hours to Mum .we waited for Paramedic , police and then finally Undertakers , then grabbed mum some basics and bought her back to ours as was always the plan . At that point I waved goodbye to my old life and said hello to a new one.
Here we are now , pretty much settled in to this new way of life , my own successful business was sacrificed , but I am happy with that as I have a poorly daughter that needs me at home too so I am not complaining , i will return to work . After reading a lot of threads I realised I needed help with mum and as I have an invisible it needed to be outside assistance , she now goes to a day centre twice a week and we have a private carer in for 2 hours one day a week, I do feel now that I have too much of a break considering a lot of people have it so much harder and don’t get that much time away. The carer is here because we have a wedding in the summer and I have no one to sit with mum so I wanted to allow plenty of time for them to build a relationship.
I have noticed only the smallest deterioration in Mum , considering she has left her home , lost her husband of 55 years, and is living with us she has been remarkable . She is calm and happy 99% of the time . I am very thankful for that .
Well here goes .................
Pre April 2019
lots of time spent helping care for dad who was really quite poorly and mum who has Alzheimer’s , Taking them for hospital appointments and treatment etc . Having mum to my house for a day once a week to give him a break.
April 2019. After asking dad about a plan B should anything happen to him , I spend 3 days up there looking after a very ill dad and helping mum. I leave theirs for an hour to pop home, I ring mum to make sure all ok, she says she can’t find dad , ask her to look for him as he was in bed when I left him . You can guess the next part , my beloved dad had died ?, I did no more but flew out the door with hubby in tow and we reached their house in under 2 minutes but must of felt hours to Mum .we waited for Paramedic , police and then finally Undertakers , then grabbed mum some basics and bought her back to ours as was always the plan . At that point I waved goodbye to my old life and said hello to a new one.
Here we are now , pretty much settled in to this new way of life , my own successful business was sacrificed , but I am happy with that as I have a poorly daughter that needs me at home too so I am not complaining , i will return to work . After reading a lot of threads I realised I needed help with mum and as I have an invisible it needed to be outside assistance , she now goes to a day centre twice a week and we have a private carer in for 2 hours one day a week, I do feel now that I have too much of a break considering a lot of people have it so much harder and don’t get that much time away. The carer is here because we have a wedding in the summer and I have no one to sit with mum so I wanted to allow plenty of time for them to build a relationship.
I have noticed only the smallest deterioration in Mum , considering she has left her home , lost her husband of 55 years, and is living with us she has been remarkable . She is calm and happy 99% of the time . I am very thankful for that .
Well here goes .................