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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
I decided to wash my windows and clean oven early this morning, Mum has decided to stare out the window, Judd and puff and generally ignore me . No please or thank you’s . Have tried to break the mood but she is having none of it so I will just plod on .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
I decided to wash my windows and clean oven early this morning, Mum has decided to stare out the window, Judd and puff and generally ignore me . No please or thank you’s . Have tried to break the mood but she is having none of it so I will just plod on .
Huff not Judd
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
‘Judd and puff’ I thought this might be a local expression like ‘little mint balls’
It is a village but not particularly scenic as far as architecture goes but ‘at the moment’ we are really lucky to overlook fields (Planning applications put in to build on it)
I do like a chocolate lab too - mine was a hybrid but looked like a white Alsatian.
Did I see on JM thread that your hubby has been laid off or did I misread. If so I am so sorry to hear when you already have a lot on your plate. Sending you hugs for lack on anything constructive 🤗
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
578
Well, my mum seems to be feeling better, her Carer got her doing some chair exercises and they had a sing song as well - mum has a two hour visit as we wanted her to have some company as well but obviously they are not taking her out at the moment.

My brother went round at tea time and boy, he copped for a fun time! The constipation seems to be easing as mum had managed to do a huge poo - on her bedroom carpet! So my brother had to clean it up, luckily she hadn't walked in it or got it on the bed clothes!

He still retained his sense of humour and teased my sister on our WhatsApp group that he'd made up the bed in the spare room for mum and put a pan over the pile of poo for my sister to clean up on her visit tomorrow!

I just hope her tummy is better by the time I visit on Sunday as I have mobility problems and struggle to go upstairs. Her lovely care agency staff left us some plastic aprons and gloves to use for any future problems.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Ha ha that would be strange ! We have always had Alsatians so this one is a big change . Yes hubby has, he is self employed but was working long term for a company , we will be ok thank you . The hugs are great thank you , never going to turn those down :) . Have you spoken to your mum anymore ? It must be so much more difficult for you and others who have family in care homes that are locked down , sending hugs back to you🤗. Have a good weekend . Enjoy the strolls, at least the weather is getting better now .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Oh @Lynmax , I hope so to for your sake 🤞 , can you take someone else with you just in case ? That did make me chuckle about your brother, good to have a sense of humour , I have lost mine at the moment but I am looking for it ! The toilet situation is no better here yet either , last night I felt a bit crabby about it but i know she can’t help it , have to make sure I go in there after her to clear up. Fingers crossed both situations improve soon .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Not a bad day so far , had to laugh as the chap on the news said thank you and goodnight mum says the same back to him . A few weeks ago she got out her chair and almost scurried off to her room , I asked what was wrong and she said they are here in the room , she though Phil & Holly were talking to her and the camera would pan round and film her sitting in chair . The toilet issue is very hit and miss . Did ask her yesterday if she wanted to dry up a few bits and suprisingly she did , regularly ask her is she wants to do ironing or dusting but it’s always a flat no . I still feel achey and tired but temperature is fine. 🤞 Mum has had the odd cough today , I feel bad passing it to her but if I try to avoid her like yesterday and this morning she gets really uppity and then I feel bad. Not really read her paper today , she was super confused this morning but seems a little better .it can be mornings that she is worse sometimes . Nothing is constant ,behaviours come and go at different times , most confusing to me as I can’t second guess anything .:rolleyes:
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Glad you're feeling bit better @Woo2 but shame your mum is feeling bit off and confused. I think it's impossible to avoid them while caring for them so try not to feel bad. Even if I could not be around mum if I was ill she wouldn't understand why so I wouldn't be able to. Hope you're both over it soon x Mum is often worse as day goes on but then can also have days where she's really confused in morning but gets less so in afternoon. Some days its constant confusion all day, you just never know do you. 🤗
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
5,999
East Sussex
Hope you don't mind me butting in @Woo2 , but have you checked your mum for a UTI? Increased confusion and “strops” could be due to that

Hope you are feeling better ;)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
I appreciate your and everyone’s advice @Sam Luvit , thanks. I will try and get a sample bottle from dr’s. I did have it checked a couple of months ago when she was increasingly confused . The ‘strops’ are perfectly normal for mum , so much so that I know she’s in there somewhere still ! She has always been like that. Feeling much better thank you . :)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Glad you're feeling bit better @Woo2 but shame your mum is feeling bit off and confused. I think it's impossible to avoid them while caring for them so try not to feel bad. Even if I could not be around mum if I was ill she wouldn't understand why so I wouldn't be able to. Hope you're both over it soon x Mum is often worse as day goes on but then can also have days where she's really confused in morning but gets less so in afternoon. Some days its constant confusion all day, you just never know do you. 🤗
No it’s so changeable isn’t it. I start to feel I have learnt something and then it all changes , just to keep us on our toes . Feeling almost back to normal , thank you :) . Had an email to say mum’s day centre is opening still as they are worried about isolation for some of the other users who see no one and the only hot meal they get is there. Makes me sad these people have no one to look out/after them . I want mum to continue . Hubby doesn’t think it’s worth the risk, my decision he says, he is home but he is outside working in garden /shed so he isnt much help to me with mum . I shall ponder today. Hope today goes ok for you . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
So hard to know what to do isn't it, I've been wondering what to do about mums if hers is still open. Hubby says they'll be being careful and cleaning surfaces etc and monitoring the risk but there is still the fact they're coming into contact with other people so it's hard to decide. Mum does enjoy it and when she goes it really perks her mood up and of course I get a few hours to come home and do some housework and have a bit of a break. Mum said there hasn't been as many people there last couple of times she went, so if more stay away then it will be quiet for those that go and maybe not as much fun. I don't know why it's been quieter or if it has cos mum could have numbers mixed up, but it could be people were already staying home more, or because a new day centre had opened in town a few weeks ago and they had gone there. That has closed this week because of virus concerns so maybe more will be back at mums this week, I don't know if that's a good thing. My sister rang mum this morning and mum said she is fine today (so far) if there is any sign of a cough and cold I won't send her anyway but otherwise I'll be pondering like you too x
Hope you have a good day x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
It’s a lot of pressure to have to make the right decisions for them isn’t it , it’s good for them to mix and get out versus the risk of getting ill . I am to ing and fro ing . Thanks , you too . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
Even harder to make decisions when you are not 100% yourself. I guess it might be taken out of your hands soon not that that is a great comfort
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
578
I'm just wondering if the new "lockdown rules" will have an impact on folks here?

Although I'm obviously upset and anxious that mum was admitted to hospital at weekend following a fall at home, it's kind of reassuring that she does have 24 hour care at the moment.. That's more than we, her family, can provide.

We just need to make sure that she is not discharged back to her home where she really is no longer safe. But as the medical team do not think that is appropriate, hopefully the hospital social care team will agree and we can work together to find a care home for her.

Sad though that it's likely that visits will be banned but I did get to see her today.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
I didn’t take mum to day centre Monday , I emailed them to say my fil is extremely vulnerable and daughter has asthma so it’s not a risk I felt happy to take . They replied quite shocked and said it’s good for mum to socialise and it’s an important break for me ! Yes I know that but they all sit together around a table , about 20 of them so if one starts coughing they will all pick up any germs . In laws are self isolating and we are leaving shopping on their doorstep but I still don’t want to take any unnecessary risks . Hubby said it’s seems a very odd decision to stay open when homes are all locked down and he feels it’s a financially motivated decision . Anyway I cancelled carer from them too until further notice . Mum seems to be missing the routine and is in a complete pickle but happy 99% of the time , have the huff and puff moments and today she went to bed from about 11- 1pm as I was outside hanging washing out for too long , If she can’t see me she will go to bed , it’s almost a default setting . Got her up at lunch time and she has sat in garden , watching her fave tenable then tipping point now . It’s going to be a long 12 weeks . :rolleyes: just need to try and stay happy , had a few silent screams earlier .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Come here to scream , shout, cry and just generally act like a brat ! I know I need to get my big girl pants on and take charge of things but I’m finding it hard . I have just found No: 2’s down the sink :eek:🤢💩. Mum is struggling hugely the last few days , I presume it’s the change, hubby & daughter are at home everyday now . I so desperately do not want this to affect her too much and for her to decline but have no idea how to do that. Just trying to be more cheerful but I’m failing sometimes miserably as we are trying to adjust to having us all here all day every. Poor mum, I must try harder to be more understanding .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
I am not sure why day care had to say that to you. You know it , but you need to take into consideration the whole family unit. So scream away.
You can say poor Mum but I can say poor Woo2. You are the person who is trying to make this work for the whole family and deal with everything else going on. So vent, scream and stamp your feet and hopefully it will help a little. I don’t think anyone can stop a decline though only adapt to a new reality and try their best when they are able to.
I am glad you are feeling a bit better but stop beating yourself up (again). You are only human not superwoman.
I don’t know if you are still, but can you still go out with your dog each day and hubby ‘look after the others’ just so you get some space for your thoughts and to give you a break. Sending more hugs to you
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Oh bless @Woo2 🤗 Big virtual hug. You scream away on here I'm not surprised you need to. You're certainly entitled to.
That must have been a shock finding them in the sink, your poor mum it sounds like she is really confused about the toilet now. Don't know how you can manage it but it seems she does need direction at loo now over what to do where. Not sure how your mum would react but could you maybe try standing at door and prompting her to stay on loo and put paper down it, not a pleasant job and mum might be embarrassed but it might help if she'd be ok with it. Fingers crossed you find a way round it X
Its such a shame your mums routine has been altered. There's going to be lots of altered routines over the next few months for quite a lot of us which is going to take some getting over and round when things are hard enough aren't they. I know it has to be done, we can't avoid it but I don't know how to cope with it either, it certainly doesn't make things easier for us to deal with does it.
Maybe you will all get into a new routine and mum will feel more settled after a bit longer with everyone at home,I hope so X
It must be hard for you trying to keep everybody happy and settled and I think you are doing really well dealing with a lot at once. I hope you're feeling better soon too as that won't help if you're feeling off it too 🤗
Take care of yourself as well as everyone else, you are doing a really great job x