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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
She seemed ok but while I was in shower she went off to bed . Can’t believe how much she is sleeping , she really is eating at least a half of what she did, enough to keep her going as she had a huge appetite so plenty onboard in storage ;) bit still it is a worry , even Mary P agreed when I said I thought the sleeping was a decline . I don’t know whether to get the Gp to see her,( I don’t want a locum again but her Gp ). and do some blood tests or to ring MC again , would hope they would see her soon but it’s only an annual review . I will monitor for a couple of days and see I think . Thanks @annielou, paperwork to do now she has gone to bed .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Its hard to know what to do for best isn't it. Maybe worth trying ringing MC in a couple of days (if you can get through) and say your mum is sleeping a lot more and not eating as much, say your mums due an annual review but you didn't want to wait till that as you're getting a bit worried. Hopefully they might be able to help and have an idea what's going on. 🤞 Good luck with the paperwork 🍀 🤗🤗🤗
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
491
Just got back from not
collecting mums prescription...battle commenced with doctors after a cup of coffee. Mum had the runs whilst I was out so I cleaned bathroom and had a go at bedroom carpet. It then struck me how difficult it would be with a family sharing the one bathroom....very very difficult
Hero status for you for keeping on top of it...I’m flaked on the bed for 5 minutes thinking of coffee and ordering more carpet cleaner with the groceries. I think you are doing the right thing enquiring about a home. My mum couldn’t do daycare...she naps in bed (a chair won’t do) she gets exhausted if we go to the supermarket and often I take her out in her wheelchair
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,821
cornwall
Just got back from not
collecting mums prescription...battle commenced with doctors after a cup of coffee. Mum had the runs whilst I was out so I cleaned bathroom and had a go at bedroom carpet. It then struck me how difficult it would be with a family sharing the one bathroom....very very difficult
Hero status for you for keeping on top of it...I’m flaked on the bed for 5 minutes thinking of coffee and ordering more carpet cleaner with the groceries. I think you are doing the right thing enquiring about a home. My mum couldn’t do daycare...she naps in bed (a chair won’t do) she gets exhausted if we go to the supermarket and often I take her out in her wheelchair
Just to save you a battle. Could you not get it delivered?
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
491
It would not have helped as the fault lay with the doctors surgery which ignored the request!! I don’t mind going to the chemist as sometimes it’s a much needed excuse to get out!!
I order repeat prescription online and the doctors are supposed to send them straight to the chemist to dispense; todays problem was that they didn’t send it to the chemist. At least with on line ordering there is a record and the surgery can’t deny all knowledge which has been the case in the past.
We have new doctors in the last 18 month and to be honest it’s like a breath of fresh air, when I have needed them they have been there!! It’s just the reception/office who are taking their time to reach the new standards
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Thank you @Starting on a journey , it’s a constant job cleaning and soothing when someone wants to use it ! Husband has learnt the hard way to get up earlier and have his shower before Mum gets up or else she will be in the bathroom ages and he ends up late for work, it’s just adapting and being patient , and we leave a bottle of bleach , gloves and cloths in bathroom .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Hi. I hope you have had a better day today or your Mum has to make it easier for you. I know you mentioned you did not want the locum GP involved - is your normal one away? I was just wondering whether it is a case of blood tests to see if the tiredness/lack of appetite is due to hopefully something easily identifiable.
hope the paperwork is all finished now. I need to get going on mine again getting the LPA registered at more institutions.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
It’s been better today thanks @Bikerbeth :) Have spent the day at my mums best friends , had a good chat and they agree that mum is fast approaching time for a care home for her and for us as a family , they are in full agreement , that was very important for me to get their opinion , and they have offered to help me when the time comes , had a chat about the places I had in mind , feels like a betrayal talking about it behind mums back but it is something that has to be done . Talking about it and doing it are two different things though . Our Gp’s only offered a home visit and that was a locum, so maybe I will have to push for a visit to surgery . I will hang fire as today she has had a 2 course meal at DC and come home and had a big dinner and seconds. Mary P thinks it’s natural progression and I’m inclined to agree but I will talk to MC as it’s easy to not do anything when she reverts to ok days like today . More paperwork to do😂 hope you get it done ok .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,006
Glad today has been a better day. It's good you were able to have a chat with your mum's friends and get their agreement about a care home. My mum's best friend was very supportive when I moved mum into care, and in the months leading up to it when she was the person living nearest to mum and so was able to go and sort her out when she got in a pickle. The same friend, several years previously, also persuaded mum that giving my brother and I LPA was a good idea, and for that I shall always be grateful to her.
Have you actually approached the homes you are interested in yet?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Glad that you had a better today and that ‘someone’ outside the family who knows your Mum well agrees with your thinking. Support like that is so good and reassuring.
That wicked dementia does keep playing those nasty games by putting a bit of ‘normality’ in along the way to fool us. I am pleased your Mum has eaten today though.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
It is very reassuring I agree , made me feel a lot better @Bikerbeth , thank you .yes she is a cruel mistress indeed . Thank you @Sarasa , your mums friend sounds great support and a good friend to your mum 👍 I have sent off for brochures and husband and I just discussed booking a virtual tour on the ones we can , he has been inside every home in our vicinity in his professional role so knows a bit , so that helped narrow it down to 2, possibly 3, friends have family in the one I think I will go for. I need to do some research before I call so I know what to ask .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Glad your mums been a bit better today, Its weird isn't it how just as you think I need to speak to someone about this I'm concerned they seem to perk up and you start wondering if everything's ok and then sometimes just as you start thinking it is the worry comes back.
Its good you had good chat while at your mums friends, I bet it was helpful to get their input. That's handy too with hubby having seen inside homes in your area and knowing of someone in one so you can get their opinion on it. Good luck with it all x 🤗 x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Great that your hubby has been into them previously so that has given you a starting point.
The link below might help with regard to questions to ask although obviously more difficult without being able to visit in person.

other thought is do any of them have FB pages -i know it can be a distorted view but it may provide some additional info.
Some more unwanted challenges ahead so sending some 🤗🤗🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Thank you both @annielou @Bikerbeth , it does make it slightly easier , it’s the actual taking her that I will struggle with but once the decision is made I have husband and mums friend for help . I will start the process . I’m not on FB, can’t stand the nonsense and horrible stuff on there so dumped it years ago, will look on girls phone’s though so thanks for the suggestions and the link :) 👍
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
590
It's always reassuring when someone outside the family who knows your mum well agrees with your thinking. Good luck with the care home hunting. Lots to think about, but I know that when I was looking friends on TP said to look beyond the decor, no need for fancy hair salons etc, see if the residents seem well cared for, not easy to assess in restrictive visiting times. Also I was advised to ask what behaviours they couldn't care for.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
An ok few days , the norm really . Yesterday Mum got up early so me you early too , today hubby at work and me up early and Mum just got up ! Going to be really late for club , I had planned to do some gardening , frustrating I won’t get as long to do it but hey ho not something to get annoyed about . Yesterday Mum went back to bed at 10am feeling sick , As if by magic she woke up literally 5 minutes before Mary arrived , she said she felt fine , Mary asks how she is and she said she felt sick :rolleyes: they sat in garden for an hour or so , again frustrating as I sit with them instead of making the most of the time . I nipped out for 15 minutes to shop when I came back they had gone out , Mum was still in her pyjamas ! She is always happy when Mary around so I’m trying harder to be happier and kinder . They then walked around garden and picked tomatoes , they left the ripe ones and picked the orange /green ones but hey it kept them amused for half hour . Mum went to get dressed just before dinner and out in fleece jogging bottoms and a jumper then huffed and puffed and sweltered through dinner so I put fan on , she slipped off to bed whilst I was washing up at 8pm and she is still wearing said clothes and saying she is hot:confused:. Iget her clothes out and help her get pj’s on unless she disappears when I’m busy . I wonder if she doesn’t want me to help her and that’s why she goes when I’m busy or if it’s just coincidence . Must go and try and get her ready to go DC , already late .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Shame you didn't get most out of Marys visit yesterday and same today with DC :( typical isn't it, up early on days when don't need to and late when it would be useful. :rolleyes:
Mum would often sit there with her cardi on saying she was melting, I'd say Take your cardi off then, It was like she didn't think to take it off herself and had forgot that what she was wearing could be adjusted for temperature. Sounds like your mum has forgotten too and just puts things on. It was sweet of you to put fan on for her. It could just be a coincidence that mum goes off to bed when you're busy, or she might be going off cos she's not got your attention so slinks off to her room. Mum would struggle to entertain herself and get bored if I was doing something and not focusing on her as much or was gone for a while from her sight.
Hope you weren't too late for DC and got some time for you 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Yes she has lost the grasp of dressing appropriately for weather conditions . Managed to get her there by 10am and came home to cut hedges back and just went through the cable :eek:😅 hand shears now , going to take a little longer ! It’s baking here today already . I think she does go because I’m not there , as the minute I leave the room she disappears .
 

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