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Goodbye and Hello

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
Some weeks can be a bit up and down , but overall if your mum has had a shower I'd count that as a positive.
Very wearing when someone is constantly at the toilet, I don't think there's an easy answer to that one, you could try arrows pointing the way, could do with "glow in the dark " ones !! Think that's an attempt at humour?
I hope you have something nice planned for when Mary Poppins is with your mum.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
Thanks @anxious annie I will be sanding and primering fascia’s soffits , can’t really say it will be fun but a necessary job . Yes I guess it’s a positive but it would be nice if we could get her in a little more often ! I’m not sure on the answer, we can’t usually leave the door open as our dog would creep upstairs but think we will have to , that and I need to try and stay more awake .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,634
Bedford
Glad to hear it has been an ok week. The shower one does seem so difficult. I think that is one thing Mum’s carers are not overly happy about when it is their turn to encourage and ‘assist‘ her in the shower as she goes into strop mode.
Is it toilet or bathroom your Mum can’t find.
I hope you are all going to do something lovely at the weekend whilst Mary Poppins works her magic with your Mum. Just read your reply to anxiousannie so perhaps not!
please don’t stay awake more though listening for your Mumotherwise you will quickly get run down. I was going to suggest one of those stick on small round torches On the bathroom door. Like the ones you would put in a wardrobe.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,861
One of mum's carer' phoned me today to check it was OK for mum to have the flu jab. She mentioned she'd given mum a shower this morning and mum was a bit cross with her. Having heard what mum thinks of that particular carer I think that was the understatement of the century.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
Mum has lots of those torches everywhere in her room @Bikerbeth , dad had them dotted around their bathroom so we bought them here for her .We have always left the bathroom light on , it’s the only light too so it should draw her towards it but she gets to the doorway and it is around a corner to toilet/bathroom . We were considering having an en-suite built on to her room but a/would she remember it was there?
b/ psychiatrist said don’t change her surroundings .
c/ not sure we could afford it as because of style of property it’s not simple , and we couldn’t ask mum to pay as we would profit making house worth more (though it’s a family home and wouldn’t be sold ) .
not sure how we assist her apart from me getting an alarm and getting up when she gets up , the thought fills me with horror as I can be moody if tired , but I can’t leave hubby to deal with as she sometimes comes out in just knickers (takes her pj’s off as thinks it’s morning and starts to get dressed ) plus he works hard and long hours . He is a light sleeper and hears her as soon as she gets out of bed .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,634
Bedford
Very Long strong piece of elastic tied round your wrist and her door handle so when she opens the door it pulls you out of bed. Sorry not realistic I know and I do appreciate what you are saying with regards to hubby working hard And needing his sleep too. Is there any sort of pressure mat that could be tried that does not wake everyone up, just you. I don’t really know much about them. Maybe a separate post on the forum on the specific topic might come up with some better ideas
🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
😂 Good idea . I was sleeping on the sofa as she has to walk through the lounge to get to bathroom , but I couldn’t do it for too long . It’s just something I will have to deal with /find a way . Thanks @Bikerbeth .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,712
Yorkshire
Well done on getting your mum showered, even if not every day its still a victory and sounds like you were quick thinking with silly games to lighten things up. I was going to suggest leaving light on in bathroom and door open on a night but then read previous replies. We used to do that when my niece and nephews were little and were staying over.
When mum stayed last year a few times we did it for her after she got confused first night and couldn't find landing light switch to put light on, so we left bathroom light on. It helped her find bathroom but she turned light off as she left bathroom though so if she needed loo again she couldn't see where to go next time :( So then we got a battery operated light with a sensor on from b&m and put it on the landing, as soon as she came out of bedroom the light came on and she could see on landing and as she walked past bathroom with door open she could see where to go. The bathroom here is next to spare room so easy for her to find though so may not be as useful for you.
In the hospital on eldery care ward all the toilets had big labels on door with a picture of a toilet on and said toilet. You could print your own off and blu tak it on the bathroom door. It may not help though if she doesn't notice it or recognise sign though and I suppose not being able to see bathroom directly when she comes out of her room is probably main problem for your mum though, not sure what you can do about that.
The pressure mat we got for mum when she was going to stay here at christmas was quite loud, it had different volume settings but I think it would be loud enough to wake up anyone in same room as receiver unless a heavy sleeper.
Could you put a doggy stair gate across stairs on a night to stop dog sneaking up and allow easier access to toilet for mum or does she need to access stairs too?
@anxious annie 's glow in the dark arrows made me smile, they'd be good, or those lights that come on on the floors of planes to lead way to emergency exits. :) Seriously though it's a hard thing to get round without you losing sleep and that's not fair or good for you so I hope you can find something that helps 🤞
Hope you get a bit of time to do something nice when Mary Poppins comes this weekend besides soffits 🤞
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,921
Chester
or those lights that come on on the floors of planes to lead way to emergency exits.

I'm not sure whether it was for the bathroom or not but I'm sure @LadyA had some low level lights fixed to the wall, which were on a sensor and came on as her husband moved along the corridor. I seem to think they were battery operated. Although I might be remembering this completely incorrectly as it was a good few years ago now (that long slow decline of Alz means I've been here a while :oops:)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
Thank you @annielou @Juggling mum :) it’s not the light issue , it’s actually having to walk a little further round to see it , we have left the door of hallway open for last two nights and that seems to have improved things🤞how long for who knows but it’s working at the moment . I will look at getting a pressure mat too ,think she will fiddle with it but again will have to wait and see . She had turned of all the plugs recently so getting a cap to put over them . Mary Poppins Imminent arrival has heralded change , we are going for a drive later and sod the soffits😂 will do them tom and Mon .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
Thanks @annielou :) Mum isn’t playing ball yet. Struggling to get her dressed 🤣 she likes to have the last laugh eating in to our precious 4 hours , makes me chuckle . Hope your day goes ok🤞xx
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,634
Bedford
Mary Poppins Imminent arrival has heralded change , we are going for a drive later and sod the soffits😂 will do them tom and Mon .
Agree with you - Soffits not going anywhere so I think it’s good that you head out for a while
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,712
Yorkshire
Oh dear really not best start to your time. Hope Mary wasn’t too late and was reason for it It never goes smoothly life with dementia. Hope you got out ok in the end 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,794
South East
Mary P 🌂👜arrived and she is having a coffee and reading paper until mum gets up , she laughed and said Mum will probably still be in bed when we get home. Oops forgot to post that . Yes she turned up only half hour late (probably the wind carrying her down 🤣) and we and youngest popped out , just on our way home , she said mum is awake and happy so all good .