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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
It was a relief , I kept thinking she wouldn’t turn up or Mum would get humpy but it was all very relaxed , the 4 hours flew by . The girls sat and chatted with her too. All good so far , it has made me a little happier with mum too . She was surprised that mum is happy as her mum is very resistant to personal care and is quite unhappy in general , so she was feeling better about it too after meeting Mum . Let’s see how it goes but all positive so far .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,674
That's good to hear @Woo2. I can't remember, but is it your intention to up the hours as you go along, or just a few every week. It sounds like a good start anyway.
How's your mum's leg? I hope it'll be healed or at least a lot better by Monday so she can go to the DC.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
Thank you @Sarasa , we are hoping to have mainly the odd evening and weekend breaks to allow us to go out as a family , but will use the hours midweek if nothing planned . Her leg is still weeping a little but looking a little better , she has DC today so will need to cover it until she gets home . That is the right thing to do anyway as I wouldn’t want her there with a open wound.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,627
Yorkshire
Glad your daughters chatted to carer too, that way they feel comfortable with her so if you and hubby want to go out alone and carer comes to keep your mum company while your daughters are home they will feel more comfortable about her being around if they are in and out of their rooms.
Hope she has a good day at DC and you have good day too x
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
404
That's really good to hear that the visit with the new carer for your mum went well. You will be able to enjoy some family time in the future, knowing that your mum is being well looked after. Hope all goes well with your mum at the DC , and her leg is healing.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
Yes you are right @annielou , I want them to feel comfortable with her as it’s their home too , luckily she is lovely and they have taken to her really well and are happy to stay here with her , youngest could and would cope with her Nan, eldest will stay out the way . Had an ok day , sorting out mums paperwork as it was too hot to stay outside .
Thanks @anxious annie mum had a good time at club and her leg is weeping a little still but better , I will feel better once we have left them alone once or twice and all goes well but I’m sure it will be fine , it’s a good feeling to have someone as I have a lunch invite with friends and I have turned them done for a year , T (our carer ) has said she will come and sit with mum so I can go :) 👍
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,627
Yorkshire
You go and enjoy it. Once carer and mum are used to each other and you feel settled leaving them while you go out then organise it and go. You need and deserve a break.
Glad day was ok and mum enjoyed DC hope leg carries on healing 🤞
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
Have noticed a new development , Mum has been slow at eating for a fair while now and eats what is directly in front of her so that’s all the meat , fish then potatoes and veg as the plate emptied but now she looks at the food as though it’s an alien object , not sure if it’s the using of knife and fork. She seems to struggle to cut food as though she has no strength in her hands .She looks at me and copies me at the table but if she sits in her chair and eats (occasionally) she takes so much longer , it’s quite painful to see .
Totally understand my MIL doesn't recognize food now. We have to spoon feed her and make her drink. She doesn't recognize the drinking cup either. My husband is Brilliant the way he manages to get her to eat. She's become childlike and needs to be distracted either by telling her a story or just when speaking to her. It is sad. She can't hold cutlery or even hold a food item in her hand .
These sadly we saw as the stages. Hubby talks fondly how she was very house proud she loved cooking
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
Thanks @annielou , am looking forward to the prospect and also at going to see family that we haven’t seen in years . Have you managed to get out and do anything nice with hubby ? X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
Oh @DILhelp it is very sad isn’t it , your husband sounds like a saint , mine has a lot of patience but he says he could not /would not do that for his parents as he wouldn’t want our daughters to either , I would care for them as I am my mum as I love them lots and they are so kind . Take care of yourself , you are just as important . Hope your talking therapy is helping 🤞 X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,547
Bedford
So lovely to come on here and see some good news. Fantastic that the Carer has made a positive start and that your girls like her too. What about the dog? Did he approve of her too? If so you are definitely on to a winner :)
Glad that your Mum had a good day at Day Care and the leg is improving.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
Yep dog likes her too , she is more than happy to look after Muttley :) I told her she can bring her little dog here anytime she likes. It’s going very well , it is almost unbelievable how much better she has made me feel , gone from really low to almost where I was , I’m sure she is heaven sent ! Thanks @Bikerbeth.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
🤣doesn’t she ! Hope I’m not putting too much pressure on her . I am tempering my expectations. How’s your back ? Is your OH feeling better ?
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
Oh @DILhelp it is very sad isn’t it , your husband sounds like a saint , mine has a lot of patience but he says he could not /would not do that for his parents as he wouldn’t want our daughters to either , I would care for them as I am my mum as I love them lots and they are so kind . Take care of yourself , you are just as important . Hope your talking therapy is helping 🤞 X
Aw thank you yes talking therapy is helping I'm listening to more relaxation music when cooking etc. I made myself a relaxation box I can delve into which consists of aromatherapy oils, meditation booklets, small chimes, happiness cards, we have to look after ourselves mentally and physically to deal with daily life. X look after yourself x20200806_180536.jpg
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
My daughter has one of those but hers has chocolate in it too ! They are good, we should all have one . Glad you are finding small ways to help yourself feel a little better @DILhelp 👍 X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,635
South East
We have had a good few day’s , mums birthday was last week and we had an afternoon tea with her friends and her carer came along too , the next day her club had decorated the hall with banners and balloons and I took a cake in and she had a thoroughly great day , came home for Steak & Chips and more cake ! She had a relaxing couple of days after and today carer came and had mum for 4 hours on her own while we all went out for a walk along the beach , was really nice to spend some time together just us and girls and not have to worry about mum . T sent me a video of them batting a balloon to each other and walking round the garden . she comes in and gets mum motivated and moving around far more than I do , feeling a little like I’m not doing enough with mum but my lovely husband says she is paid to purely entertain mum not look after girls , do housework, wash clean and do everything else , maybe he is right but I’m planning on trying to do more fun things with her . Her leg seems good and the scab is lifting at the edges so hoping she will leave it to come off in its own time . All in all everything is plodding along fine at the moment so am feeling thankful and enjoying it .
 

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