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Goodbye and Hello

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,709
Yorkshire
Glad monday went ok at DC with nice staff, shame about the other day, but hopefully carer will work out better.🤞🍀 Hope your mums leg heals soon with no more picking 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
She just came out and said bandage fell off :oops: It is healing ok so far🤞. I just text carer and the days have already changed:rolleyes: hopefully it’s not a sign of things to come but just an early hiccup . Sure all will be fine . Thanks @annielou. X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,709
Yorkshire
Oh dear, did she have good reason? 🤞 fingers crossed all settles when she starts. If not try the other or go back to agency, but hopefully all will be well. Such a shame not totally smooth sailing as hard enough and lots of worry as it is. 🤗
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
507
Hopefully just teething problems, maybe something she had arranged before agreeing times with you that couldn't then be changed.
Hope your mum's leg is ok too.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
She did say she was busy next week , I’m sure it will be ok once she starts, she seems very nice and kind so I’m prob just worrying unnecessarily . Thank you both .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,629
Bedford
🤞It all goes smoothly with the new Carer. It will be good you get that time too. I am also pleased that DC continues to work well
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
Have noticed a new development , Mum has been slow at eating for a fair while now and eats what is directly in front of her so that’s all the meat , fish then potatoes and veg as the plate emptied but now she looks at the food as though it’s an alien object , not sure if it’s the using of knife and fork. She seems to struggle to cut food as though she has no strength in her hands .She looks at me and copies me at the table but if she sits in her chair and eats (occasionally) she takes so much longer , it’s quite painful to see .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,709
Yorkshire
Aww thats a sad development 🤗 hugs 🤗 for you both. Sorry no useful tips or anything helpful to offer but sending hugs for you both. 🤗🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
Thank you @annielou , don’t think there is much we can do , It will get to stage of finger foods only or soft food that can be eaten with a spoon but not quite there yet . Thanks for the hugs . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,629
Bedford
It is sad when you see another change. What about ‘dementia’ friendly crockery and cutlery? I just did a search and quite a lot came up. Brighter and chunkier cutlery, colourful plates. Maybe something there might help or give you some ideas.
Hugs from me too
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
I will have a look @Bikerbeth thanks 👍 Thought of you earlier about 7pm when our annual mass meeting of bikers went past, think they rendezvous at Southend . Was nice to see so many go past .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,629
Bedford
I will have a look @Bikerbeth thanks 👍 Thought of you earlier about 7pm when our annual mass meeting of bikers went past, think they rendezvous at Southend . Was nice to see so many go past .
Gosh they must have been daft. It was bad enough riding in the heat on Thursday but Friday must have been awful. However I ride in full gear all the time whereas other don’t.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,709
Yorkshire
Good on you wearing full gear even in heat @Bikerbeth it's better to be safe than sorry. My dad used to hate to see people riding motorbikes in shorts and tshirts. He used to pick me up or take my friend home on his bike when we were teenagers and even in summer he made sure we had gloves, jeans, and thick coat on. I've seen state of leathers and helmets when people have come off their bikes so without them can imagine the effect on their skin :eek:
Dad used to be a marshall at a little bike racing club his friend ran when we were young and my sister used to help out with their paperwork as she got older and go to meetings with him. The riders used to wear their leathers with just pants under and then roll them down to their waists in summer so sis's favourite job used to be to open and close paddock gate for them as they'd all be milling around showing their chests till it was time to go down to track. Mind you some of them were middle aged men whose bellys exploded out when unzipped and they looked much better zipped and covered up lol.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,775
South East
😂 😂@annielou you do make me chuckle. My dad had a bike but was always properly covered and safe , he came off a few times In icy weather and mum made him get rid of it .
Mum has been sleeping a lot last few days , like 16 hours at a time , got up today at 12pm back sleeping in chair about 3pm them back to bed at 8.30pm . Her leg was green this morning , cleaned it out with salt water and have left dressing off , just hoping she leaves it alone . She badly needed a shower today , so managed to get her in there and wash her hair and body and that seemed to help clean the muck out of her leg . Got her in clean clothes and she was wiped out , had lunch, read her paper , had dinner watched Countryfile then off she went again . Think maybe it’s heat and day club mixture but will keep an eye . I think she is worse but hubby says it’s a very gradual decline . We had a good chat last night and I told him how low I feel , I never tell anyone how I’m really feeling , I just pretend everything is ok .i do always bounce back and never feel down for long but It’s taking me longer to, he doesn’t think mum is at the stage where she needs a home yet unless I decide I have come to the end of the road .i am pretty close to it , although the guilt monster is in my ear . Why is it that during lockdown I was ok but now she goes to day centre 2 days I feel worse ?!
It’s stupid things like cleaning /bleaching the bathroom umpteen times a day , my house smelling yuk despite lots of candles and plus in’s , the lack of please and thank you , all stupid pointless small reasons to get wound up over We will see how the new carer goes and hope we can get away for a night sometime soon .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,629
Bedford
Unfortunately I think it is because it is relentless and you have not really had a break from it. You are also worried about your Mum’s leg understandably and your Mum is declining. Add on the stress generally of COVID-19 and it makes it tough however positive you are. So pleased you could have an open chat with hubby, that must help. 🤗🤗🤗
 

Batsue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,891
Scotland
We had a good chat last night and I told him how low I feel , I never tell anyone how I’m really feeling , I just pretend everything is ok .i do always bounce back and never feel down for long but It’s taking me longer to, he doesn’t think mum is at the stage where she needs a home yet unless I decide I have come to the end of the road .i am pretty close to it , although the guilt monster is in my ear . Why is it that during lockdown I was ok but now she goes to day centre 2 days I feel worse ?!
It’s stupid things like cleaning /bleaching the bathroom umpteen times a day , my house smelling yuk despite lots of candles and plus in’s , the lack of please and thank you , all stupid pointless small reasons to get wound up over We will see how the new carer goes and hope we can get away for a night sometime soon .
[/QUOTE]
@Woo2
3 weeks ago I reached the end of the road and rang our social worker and told her that I could not continue any longer, I have known that this day was coming for a long time and had been hoping that it would not happen while we are in the coronavirus crisis. Now the decision has been made and the wheels are in motion I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of me. The guilt monster is hovering but I keep telling it to shove off.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,836
Hi @Woo2, have you actually got a care home in mind? Even if you have it might take a while for things to be sorted so your mum could move, so now might be the time to be looking at places and putting her name down. You can always ask to stay on the waiting list if you decide the time isn't right. Personally it sounds to me as though you are getting very close to the edge, and it wont take much to fall off.
I hope your mum's leg is better today and that she enjoys Day Care (if you can get her up for it).
 

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