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Goodbye and Hello

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
I’m sorry I hadn’t even looked in here and missed your reply :confused: . Wow , you have lots of soft fruit , good going . I’m the last few days broccoli and cabbage and cucumbers have been attacked ferociously:( def will cover them next year (if we do grow them) . have more potatoes to harvest and carrots . Mil bought me a miniature apple tree when dad died and it’s got 4 apples on ! Can’t wait to try them.
It’s rather a minefield isn’t it , thought I had settled on one for mum if /when time comes but then I change my mind . I want to have some in mind in case it’s needed in a hurry . Would be good if your mums one got their act together and you didn’t need to move her .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,561
Bedford
Just when you think you are doing well with this gardening lark. Went down the bottom to see how the remaking gooseberries were doing to find they had been stripped by I think the blackbirds, along with the raspberries. Next year I will get OH to construct frame and put netting over.
I tried digging a carrot out but it was the size of my little finger.. glad to hear you have 4 apples growing.
The care home have upped their communications but I really think they need someone with a high level of understanding for dementia residents.
I do think it is worth looking in advance and putting name on waiting list if they have one. You can always say not now.
I hope your Mum has not been huffing and puffing too much.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
Oh I feel your pain , blackbirds have had our raspberries, blackcurrants and strawberries , they have left the gooseberries so far . Aunt grows tapers ?! They are a mix of blackberry and a raspberry , they are quite nice and she has passed us a few.
I’m glad they are communicating better with you , let’s hope they can take things up a level but you are right to be looking at other options . I hadn’t thought of putting her name down so thank you , I will certainly do that . Hubby has visited all the homes in his professional capacity so I know roughly which ones I would be happy with .
Oh we have been huffing and puffing as if life depended on it , her hair has got long and always complaining she is hot and playing with hair , gave her clips to clip it up but they disappeared the next day and I have since found it in pieces , gave her hair band , also disappeared . Haircut booked for Mon , masks at the ready .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,645
Yorkshire
Hope haircut helps mum feel less hot and bothered 🤞 hope you manage to get through to GP or MC soon too 🤞
You and @Bikerbeth seem to be doing really well growing in your garden although insects and birds seem to be enjoying a lot of fruits of your labour. Pesky things 🕷🦟🦅🐛
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,864
Chester
Not heard of taper as a fruit but my mum grew loganberries which were a cross between raspberries and blackberries.

I tried growing raspberries but didn't water them enough and birds had them so dug them out again. Cherry trees we planted were always eaten by birds so we dug out.

I have redcurrants white currants and blueberries netted. Birds don't seem to take too many blackcurrant. Gooseberry bushes died so new ones in this year so no fruit. Never netted gooseberry either but wasps had crop one year.
 

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Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,703
My gooseberries in my last house fell of whatever caterpillar strips the leaves. Here I don't have much room. but I have a few plums ripening on my small plum tree in a pot and a few tomatoes have flowered. My chilis are a disaster zone though. Despite having various birds about the strawberries have more or less survived but I only have a few plants in a box, so only usually have a few at a time anyway.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
😂 I have probably got it wrong then @jugglingmum , that’s what Aunt called them , Its thought she has the startings of Parkinson’s and dementia , she does amazing , goes to Pilates twice a week and keep fit and bowls (well pre lockdown ) .

Mum seems to be getting a bit belligerent , the last couple of days she had been telling our dog off , she looks at me to see if I’m watching then tells dog off really quite harshly to lie down , when dog is already lying down , yesterday dog was in doorway while I cooked dinner and noticed mum nudge her with her foot , quite firmly as the dog jumped up and ran off to find daughter and cowered a little with tail down . Mum normally fusses the dog and gets a lot of enjoyment from her . I made a cake last night and she just said “ I will make it next time “ 🤨 you didn’t add this or that ! It’s never been a problem having mum as she has been easy , pre dementia she was strict , moody and very stubborn so she has been totally different but I can see her starting to go back to being that way here . Hubby will not take much of it , he is borderline now as we can’t go anywhere with our daughters alone or do anything really . She is wandering around as I write this , picking things up and glaring at me even though I am asking if she needs anything , It’s because I am not concentrating on her solely . She hasn’t answered me much today , it’s going to be a looongg afternoon .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,703
Your mum isn't brewing a UTI or similar is she @Woo2?
I am amazed a the forbearance of other people's husbands on this board. My husband made it very clear that there was no way my mother would live with us. He has too many bad memories of his maternal grandmother living with his family when he was a teenager to think it would be a good idea. Fortunately I agreed with him. Apart from the fact I haven't got the patience, our house is isn't really suitable being a Victorian cottage with steep and narrow stairs and rather on the small side. Even in our much bigger previous house I don't think we could have managed., and until the dementia took hold there was no way my mother would have wanted to live with us anyway.
I take my hat off to those of you that do do it.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
418
I hate it when pets are affected . Before diagnosis mum was having a really ratty time and the cat, who normally shadows her, did a runner. I told 111 and they sent a doctor straight away....water infection....he said you can’t hide symptoms from a cat!!
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
418
As much as looking after mum gets on my nerves and I feel as if life has passed me by. It has been helpful in one way. After I lost my husband two years ago, mum has given me something to concentrate my energies on. Six years now, diagnosed for one but with symptoms for a long time. I am afraid my husband would not have stood the last year, luckily I have three angelic children with two partners so it’s not all bad!!
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
I had it tested a while ago but I think I will order some strips , it’s going to be so hard to get a sample though . She just had the face on and said “LOOK AT THIS “ :rolleyes: had to ask what, she says my eyes have swollen up, there is the tiniest of white pimples under her eye. She seems to becoming a bit of a hypochondriac . I will def test her urine thanks @Sarasa. Hubby is amazing , he didn’t really want mum here as he wouldn’t have his own here if it was them but he agreed for me , until such time as it affects our life too much or the girls or me start getting too stressed . He doesn’t like it that I have to go in and clean bathroom every time Mum comes out , (I really need to man up and tell mum that I need to go in there with her) . so we approaching his red lines . Pooch is obviously not too badly bothered @Starting on a journey as she has thrown herself at mums feet several times today for a belly rub , but she is our baby and I will find it hard to bite my tongue where she is concerned .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,645
Yorkshire
Oh dear poor doggy. Another thing you'll be watching out for now, as if you didn't have enough on already 🤗 , you'll need fourteen pairs of eyes @Woo2 x Also not nice if mum is becoming grumpy and bossy, it will makes things harder for you all round and not nice for your mum to feel disgruntled either. I feel so sad for mum when she is angry or annoyed over something she doesn't need to be and also quite often frustrated as its mainly directed at me. My mum flounces or does the glaring fidgeting thing when thinks I'm not concentrating on her solely too, it was much worse when I was staying with her pre sertraline but she still does it at times now. You have my sympathy today X
I ordered some testing strips and a cup to test mum at home if thought might be sign of infection from ageco.co.uk though I'm not sure how I'll get mum to give me sample and I'll get to test it if need be as rather tricky isn't it but I thought I'd get some just in case. If ever think she might have one I can try test at home and then if looks like has I can try get sample to DRs for proper test and antibiotics.
Did you manage to sneak into garage and try GP or MC again today or could you not get away with mum in belligerent mood?
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
Nope , no chance today , I was a bit peeved that the clinic says ring us anytime with any worries at all and I have tried 3 days this week and it just says next in queue for over an hour ! Guessing there are many people needing help and advice just now . Didn’t bother with Gp as she wasn’t in right mind to be left for long , plus I feel what can he say apart from yes it’s part and parcel of the disease , I’m not sure upping her sertraline will stop the confusion and wandering but maybe it will make her a little less scared, upset , cross , she is only on 50mg so I am going to ring mon for his advice. I had a thought earlier as to wether she may have diabetes, she was checked but that must of been 18 months ago . Will ask him if he thinks I should take her for a check over , blood tests , bp etc as it’s been since October since she last saw them . Should I have taken her more but she seems healthy enough so haven’t worried . Will order some strips now , thank you :). The last time he wanted a sample it was an absolute mare trying to get it, might see if I can get the disposable bed pans hospital use , or it will be the cling film trick:rolleyes:. Yes I watch her with pooch like a hawk now , no repeat today thankfully but I will always be aware. Ha ha I could do with 14 pairs of eyes😂. I feel bad when she confused and angry but sometimes I get cross that she is cross which doesn’t help so I have to shake off that mind set pretty quickly as it helps neither of us. Thanks for listening and replying😊 X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,645
Yorkshire
Think the site I went on had bowls but not seen disposable bed pans. They did have funnels too but not sure mum would be able to use them.
I suppose they are busy but it is frustrating, I rang on tuesday last week and they said would get her to ring me next day but she didn't ring for over a week and she didn't mention that I had rung. I suppose like most services now they're understaffed and over worked. I feel the same when I talk to MC, that there isn't lot they can do as it's just how things progress but maybe extra sertraline will help your mum feel less scared and cross and belligerent which would be nice for your mum and you. It really did help mum feel calmer and happier before and it is helping her not to get so annoyed and angry now, but like you say it's not helping her with her confusion which is more every week. I hope you get chance to ring again and actually get through soon. 🤞 Is there an email address you could use? I wonder if they are somewhere that has and responds to emails, if so maybe you could write one in evening when your mums in bed.
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,645
Yorkshire

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,667
South East
You are an absolute 🌟 @annielou ! I go to bed early feeling blah and wake up and you have done all the legwork for me and posted all the links ! Thank you so much 😊. They will do the trick perfectly .
No email address for them unfortunately , I will call again next week . Taking my Mil to hospital Tuesday for a Covid Test and again on Friday for a procedure so youngest will be on Nan duty , plenty of ice cream , cakes and biscuits around for her .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,645
Yorkshire
Goodo x
I wish more places like that had email addresses and used them, it can be really hard to find time and privacy to ring places during office hours when looking after someone and also for anyone working too. I suppose it takes them longer to read emails (especialy mine which would be long lol) and reply to them than speak on a phone but it would make life easier for a lot of us. I emailed eye clinic liason officer at hospital once as there was an email address. I got a reply that asked me to call to discuss itl. When I rang she only asked the same as I had already put in email and then gave me triage number for department which she could easily have done in her email reply. :rolleyes:
Good luck with taking MIL to hospital next week I hope she goes on ok. And I hope your mum is ok with youngest. 🤞