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Goodbye and Hello

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
You know your Mum’s behaviours best so a chat with the GP certainly would not hurt. Has hubby or the girls noticed any changes?
As you have said to Annielou, you are also a very caring, kind daughter. I don’t think you could do more for your Mum than you are doing. You cannot make the dementia go away or stop it’s progression as you say.
Sending you some hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,188
Dorset
Just catching up here - re Mum saying she needs to go to the opticians despite having her eyes checked and they are OK - The Banjoman was like that, then one day when i was visiting he couldn’t see a cucumber that was on the chopping board right in front of him and it occurred to me that either his peripheral vision was deteriorating or his brain couldn’t compute what he was seeing. After a bit I decided it was the latter.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
You know your Mum’s behaviours best so a chat with the GP certainly would not hurt. Has hubby or the girls noticed any changes?
As you have said to Annielou, you are also a very caring, kind daughter. I don’t think you could do more for your Mum than you are doing. You cannot make the dementia go away or stop it’s progression as you say.
Sending you some hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Thank you , they are gratefully received :) I know I can’t stop this and we both say we are surprised she is as good as she is all things considered . Maybe she is having a tough few days ,I will monitor it and call him in a day or two if no change , girls aren’t very observant and evenings rarely see her after dinner , same as hubby he is usually out in garden or shed but he has been in last two nights so to him he thinks she is worse . Thanks again . You were on here early , hope you are ok ? X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Just catching up here - re Mum saying she needs to go to the opticians despite having her eyes checked and they are OK - The Banjoman was like that, then one day when i was visiting he couldn’t see a cucumber that was on the chopping board right in front of him and it occurred to me that either his peripheral vision was deteriorating or his brain couldn’t compute what he was seeing. After a bit I decided it was the latter.
Thank you , I learnt from a thread here that it was probably that, if I get up and move to kitchen and speak to her she looks at where I was sitting not where I am , it’s slightly tricky as she has a cyst deep within her brain, the dr she saw at mh clinic said it was pushing on her brain and making symptoms worse, he said due to position of it , they would not remove it . I have looked up the cyst and it says if you get vision problems see a dr. When she was being sick last year I mentioned it to gp but they didn’t think it was related and if it was there was nothing they would do .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,808
@Woo, don't beat yourself up about what you should have done. You're doing an amazing job looking after your mum and couldn't have done more. The changes aren't your lack of care just the progression of the disease.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Its hard this knowing what to do for best for someone isn’t it. Sundowning is awful and I think very cruel. Mums tablets are prescribed by memory clinic dr but if your mums is from gp it may be good idea ring there and ask. Memory clinic lady did say when she came out to see how mum was after been on first dose a couple weeks its quite normal to up it and when sis rang the other week she said similar thing to her. Maybe if tell GP they will think it might help her feel less anxious and unsettled with a higher dose.
I wonder if your mum is going off to bed earlier as she’s not thinking and worrying when she’s sleeping. I often say to mum when she asks why she gets so mixed up and doesn’t know things that its her brain getting tired, and try not to work things out now wait till morning when your brains refreshed, maybe your mum going to sleep earlier is giving her brain a rest. If GP thinks changing meds can help her feel more settled and not feel like sleeping so much it might be good. It could just be a stage of disease though as read lots of people sleep more.
its so hard to know what to do when, we’re sort of left to it with no guidelines what to try when.
You are doing a wonderful job and I don’t think you should or could be doing anything more than you are. 🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Thank you @Sarasa @annielou , I will wait a couple more days and see what happens , it was Gp who prescribed them so will go back to him . She certainly does retreat to her room when she is struggling and sleeps , I am glad she does really. I’m sure it is another step down and nothing else , it just does make you think .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
You were on here early , hope you are ok ? X
I’m fine Thanks for asking. I went out on the motorbike yesterday - first time in ages - so tired concentrating on that. Then late afternoon trying to get the LPA registered with 2 establishments so brain was ‘addled’ and an early night was had which meant I woke up early. I wish Financial institutions would agree a common procedure for registering the LPA And that would make life a little easier
How was your Mum today?
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Sorry you are having a hard time , I must of been quite lucky as found it quite easy process . Sounds great you got out on your bike :) . All settled and ok here, mum been ok, she is still up ! Good job I didn’t ring gp. Hope Oh is feeling better. X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,614
Bedford
Sorry you are having a hard time , I must of been quite lucky as found it quite easy process . Sounds great you got out on your bike :) . All settled and ok here, mum been ok, she is still up ! Good job I didn’t ring gp. Hope Oh is feeling better. X
Thank you it was not really a hard time - it was just having to use my brain. I find it funny that for one of Mum’s pensions I could email just the LPA and a letter with her pension reference, old address And my address. Another one wants a letter, LPA proof of my identity, proof of my address, their form filling in and it will take 30 days.
I am glad to hear that your Mum was settled and Ok but do keep logging behaviours so you get a overall picture
I hope today is good too
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Glad your mum had better day yesterday x👍 I know it's sounds silly but I think whenever we think of calling someone because mum doesn't seem right she has a good day/few good days so we doubt ourselves. As @Bikerbeth says keep watching in case its a good day among bad rather than other way round x I hope its a not and she continues to be more settled than last few days X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Thank you @annielou , she seems on this morning though has already been in a huff and puff mood and disappeared to her room, just came back out and between me and youngest we seem to have got her smiling again . Yes for sure , I don’t want to be a pain and ringing gp when it is the nature of the beast . Just see how she goes for a bit longer . Thanks same to you . :) 🤞 X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
How did the rest of yesterday and today go @Woo2 ? Did mums huff and puff mood pass after you got her smiling again or did it come back? I hope it passed x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Goodness @Bikerbeth that’s way more than me , we have had 3 strawberries and 3 very tiny raspberries . Have had a bucket of small potatoes though . I don’t think we will ever have enough strawberries for 5 of us to have them at same time .
Friday was ok in the evening thanks @annielou , she has been huffing & puffing on and off .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
We have had an ok few days , Mum seems to be more unsettled at night , she is getting up early , as soon as I get up, then only goes to bed when I do , I then get back up to try and see my husband for a while alone to chat about our day etc , no routine at all so I must try and get another one going . Yesterday she sat in garden with me and then I got up to cut the grass at 2pm and she slipped off indoors and went to bed for 3 hours ! Got bored waiting so went in garden , of course I wasn’t there when she woke up and came out with the face on , daughters tried to lighten her up but she blanked them both and stormed round the garden looking for husband, he saw her coming and hid in the shed . I wanted to hide and not deal with it for just once but of course that benefits no one , so calm was restored within a minute or two . She was talking about when I was a baby my dog protected me (she is only 6 ) and she knew when I was coming home from school , mum is confusing her with our neighbours dog . Evening ok , up a little later this morning and seems ok so far. Husband finds it extremely strange that mum has absolutely no comprehension that it was my birthday and when they sang happy birthday she looked at them like they were completely crazy , we didn’t make any mention of it apart from that, opened presents while she was in bathroom as I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable . He thinks that deep bond as a mum she would have remembered on some basic level but she hasn’t known for a couple of years really . Took part in a quiz on conference call with our local singing for the brain group and it was great , even though I scored poorly , we had a giggle or two . Look forward to next week and will have to swot .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,700
Yorkshire
Oh belated happy birthday 🎂💐🌸🌼🌺🤗
Its weird how they can forget isn't it:( I hope it didn't spoil your day too much and you managed to enjoy yourself a bit opening presents and things 🤞
Glad things been okish, but shame about the only going to bed when you do. Mum did the same when she stayed here a couple of times last year and when I stayed at hers I couldn't go to bed till she did as I was sleeping in living room but I was on own then and couldn't wait to get to bed. Its a shame for you though as you want to have bit of time with hubby. I hope you can get a routine going again. 🤞 Its awkward when shadowing you everywhere and want you in sight all the time isn't it. You never get a minute piece I bet as even when she's having lay down you'll be on tenter hooks waiting for her getting back up so you can be ready. 🤗
Hope things improve today bedtime wise and it's a good day X
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
435
It’s like having children....must get them into a routine. Our lockdown routine is boring for mum but calm. I took mum to McDonalds drive through and she thought that was fab!
It’s just about getting through the days but I realise that mum is on borrowed time and I so want to take her places as she may be too confused soon.
Hope your mum has a good day...I guess she is shadowing you for reassurance
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,764
South East
Thank you @annielou , it didn’t spoil the day as it’s just another day , youngest and hubby cooked a lovely steak meal and chocolate cake and wine so it was pretty good :) I don’t get time with him really as we get up at 6am to try and get some time and she gets up too , this morning she was in bathroom for ages and he was late getting in there and going to work but it’s nothing major. Will just get a new routine in and things will change again with girls going off to college etc . Hope you have a good day too . X