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Goodbye and Hello

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,405
Yorkshire
Oh dear that sounds like another upset day 🤗🤗hugs to u both. Did u manage to get a sample yet? It can be very hard to do can’t it. Its awful when they are upset but don’t know why. You are so good and patient with your mum.
Mum does the starey thing too, its an odd feeling isn’t it. I think in mums case she’s trying to work out who I am 🙁
Hope your mum stayed in bed all night and you all got good sleep and today is better 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
She did indeed stay in bed , had been ok ish, a little huff & puff but just took off at a gallop down the garden looking for hubby , telling him she has a problem with her eyes and is overdue her check up and I won’t take her :rolleyes: we have been through this sooo many times , she has perfect eyesight and was checked a few months ago by 3 different opticians . He told her that everywhere is shut but will organise it in a few weeks . Managed to get her to sit and have a cold drink and she is watching girls splash about in pool now . Thank you for hugs , gratefully received and some back to you .🤗🤗 X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,405
Yorkshire
Oh bless I think I remember reading about your mum thinking needs eyes checking in past, its hard to dissuade them of something isn’t it. Hope she forgets about it now 🤞 And hope rest of day goes ok 🤞
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,401
Bedford
From previous descriptions you have provided of your Mum I have an interesting picture of your Mum galloping down the garden.
I am pleased to hear that hubby was able to calm down ‘opticiangate’ with promises of a future visit.
I am jealous of your girls being able to splash in a pool this weather. When I win the lottery I am going to have a large indoor swimming pool With bifold doors that open out on a sunny day and a house to go with it :D
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Indoor swimming pool sounds lovely but need to be a millionaire to them ! The girls want us to put one in the conservatory :oops:what about the wood floor I said , oh we will out some rugs down😂 it is a reasonably big one but boy it’s cold in there , been up about 6 weeks but hasn’t warmed up much .🥶
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,405
Yorkshire
@Bikerbeth that made me smile tonight. I know it was a serious and sad thing @Woo2 so hope not offended you x but I'm now thinking of a miranda style gallop? (If don't know what I mean google miranda hart galloping). I'm also thinking of bikerbeth lounging by an indoor pool in a 'dalentrace' style chigwell mansion (birds of a feather).
In my efforts to enjoy a smile I think I've lost the plot a bit now. 😳 😜
Hope today has been a better day x
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,815
Chester
@Bikerbeth that made me smile tonight. I know it was a serious and sad thing @Woo2 so hope not offended you x but I'm now thinking of a miranda style gallop? (If don't know what I mean google miranda hart galloping). I'm also thinking of bikerbeth lounging by an indoor pool in a 'dalentrace' style chigwell mansion (birds of a feather).
In my efforts to enjoy a smile I think I've lost the plot a bit now. 😳 😜
Hope today has been a better day x
🤣
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,401
Bedford
@Bikerbeth that made me smile tonight. I know it was a serious and sad thing @Woo2 so hope not offended you x but I'm now thinking of a miranda style gallop? (If don't know what I mean google miranda hart galloping). I'm also thinking of bikerbeth lounging by an indoor pool in a 'dalentrace' style chigwell mansion (birds of a feather).
In my efforts to enjoy a smile I think I've lost the plot a bit now. 😳 😜
Hope today has been a better day x
Yes that was the image and yes certainly no offence intended
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Oh goodness none taken at all , actually it made me laugh too 😂 . I have you down more of a Lady of the Manor than Birds of a feather but I may have the wrong end of the stick and need to google/watch it.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,401
Bedford
Oh goodness none taken at all , actually it made me laugh too 😂 . I have you down more of a Lady of the Manor than Birds of a feather but I may have the wrong end of the stick and need to google/watch it.
That Essex meet up might well reveal some surprises. I think we all have images in our head as to what people look like before we meet them
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,487
I think guessing what people might look like is part of the fun of meeting people in real life that you originally met on the Internet. I have a couple of friends I met doing my OU degree. I knew one of them worked near me and I spent ages on a station platform one night plucking up courage to ask this person that was also waiting if she was who I thought she was, as she looked just like I imagined my on-line friend would look. I didn't in the end, but when we were properly introduced it was the same person.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Had a normal few days , mum woke up very hot Sunday and said the room was spinning and she had vertigo so after a drink and breakfast she went back to bed until lunchtime , all ok once she got up. Yesterday she had a shower while I changed her bed,went in her room to dry hair and get dressed , came out and stormed off to garden, wouldn’t speak to youngest , I made her lunch and just glossed over things and eventually she came round , just writing this down and it’s come to me that maybe she was looking for hubby . Last night she had a major confusion after dinner and was wandering around , if I ask are you ok , she says yes a little angrily, if I ask “do you need the toilet , do you want a drink “ she always says no as if she doesn’t want me to know /admit she was struggling , she went off to toilet before bed and through window it looked like she was getting in and out of the bath , then staring at the toilet , she was in there about half hour , when she came out I was dreading what I would find but everything was fine . Seems quiet today but ok . Her bed felt a little damp and she is waking up very hot most mornings , no sign of uti though , maybe I should get dr to do some blood tests ... who knows , maybe I am just being over cautious , everyone else thinks she is ok . It’s hard being completely responsible for someone else’s health and well-being .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,405
Yorkshire
Hope the being hot is nothing bad 🤞 My mum gets warmer nowadays, it might be her tablets, but I've noticed that she often doesn't think to take her cardi off when she's warm. She'll say oh I'm boiling, or blow out a few times so I'll say why don't you take your cardi off mum and she always seems surprised like she has not thought of that. She's also been known to sit there a bit cold and not think to put it on either. :oops:😞 It reminds me a bit of babies when you have to check to see if hot or cold and adjust their layers (not that I have any, but remember doing it when looked after my sisters).
I'm thinking of changing our bed to summer quilt today, although weather has turned to wet, dull and cooler since yesterday I was still warm last night. Hubby had his short pjs on other day cos his legs were hot lol. Does your mum wear thick things to bed, or have thick bedding on and its just that? maybe clutching at straws there.
Your so right though it is hard being responsible for someone else's health and well being isn't it. Especially when that person can't explain exactly how feel or how long felt like it. Could you ring memory clinic if have one or gp and ask advise maybe? Hope someone with more experience than me has better advise for you x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Oh we get the blowing out umpteen times a day ! She came out on the hottest day in fleece joggers and jumper , then when it was cooler a summer skirt and t shirt , she can’t work out what to wear , if I get clothes out she bypasses them, think it’s a wanting to hold on to a little bit of control still which I admire.i put our summer quilt on a few weeks ago , it is mild done here though , mum has summer quilt on too and only has cotton pj’s , put a nightie out for her but she leaves it on side , think as she lives with us she want me to cover up with pj’s . Will get her fan out , just don’t want her to get cold either . It is just like having a baby @annielou . That’s a good idea I may call either of those , we are a chunky family though and do get hot .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,401
Bedford
I have not had to take the responsibility that you and Annielou do with regards to caring for your Mum’s on a day to day basis. I do not envy you. I am generally much happier dealing with Mum’s paperwork.
I tend to feel the cold but when I was walking with Mum through the winter I would be wearing long sleeve T-shirt, thick jumper and chunky coat whilst Mum would be wearing light jumper and a thin, short shower proof coat. I would suggest something warmer and often take a thicker coat but she would refuse them. The last 2 window visits the weather was hot and Mum was wearing jumpers. So I wonder if dementia does affect the internal temperature regulation.
I hope that your Mum being hot is just an unexplainable blip. A bit of advise might be a good idea as Annielou suggested.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Yes I think you are right in that it does affect temperature regulation , I will take some advise , although it is nothing new , she has huffed & puffed and been hot for a fair few years , hard as I don’t want to be a pain calling them over what might be a very common side effect , but I don’t want to potentially miss something that could be serious . From what you have said and @annielou it would seem to be quite normal , thank you ☺ X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,405
Yorkshire
Is the vertigo a new thing? @Woo2 if she goes dizzy and hot that might be something more than just dodgy body thermostat. Maybe an ear infection?
Have you googled ? Maybe you get another hormone change in older age? Mum sometimes says she’s having a hot flush but she went through the change in her late 30’s to late 40’s Sis and I used to think she said it when she got warm because she heard us saying it as we both have hot flushes at times. But wonder if as women get older have more hormonal changes or if a dementia thing ?
I have also wondered if to do with tablets she takes, as a side effect if it is one, its one thats not causing my mum real problems, but if your mums really hot over night it be worth asking to see If GP or MC have idea and if ok. I’m always reluctant to contact people and ask things but we shouldn’t be really so hope you do x. 🤗
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
She has had vertigo for 30 plus years , also had her mastoid (ear ) bone removed about the same time , coukd be ear related , she does have them micro vacuumed because of bone removal can’t have them syringed , she also suffers with constipation so if her tummy looks bigger I add extra prunes , she does have a much better diet here than at home as they didn’t eat regular and dad didn’t like fruit or veg , she has fibre every day and it’s not so much of a problem anymore, she drinks well so I am at a loss and gp asks if she is eating /drinking well they then say that’s as much as can do as her blood and urine tests all keep coming back fine . I am a sweaty Betty so are daughters and mum always has been , I think it’s because she huffs,puffs and blows so much that it’s making me more aware . Thank you for all the help and advice. :) X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,220
South East
Mum has been ok. Yesterday she was quiet but ok, we watched her fave films all day , early afternoon she went and put her shoes on so we were on alert for wandering ,after dinner I could see the face developing , asked if she wanted her slippers and a blanket , she nodded but I asked if she wanted to go and lie down on her bed , she did so I walked with her and shut her curtains and she was already putting pyjamas on , handy as I managed to sneakily grab the dirty ones she took off and tucked them under my arm , helped her get clean ones on and tucked her in , it was only 7pm , this morning she didn’t get up until 8.30am , I was shocked she had slept so long . Happy enough though and the day has been ok although I have cleaned kitchen cupboards out so have been in and out but she seemed ok . It’s almost like a switch flicking about 4pm when the sundowning starts , wandering about from room to room , picking things up and generally looking hugely confused , I try to just sit and watch out normal quiz programs . I never know wether to keep asking her if she is ok as I don’t want to draw attention to her struggling but want to help her feel calm . She had dinner ok but literally as soon as she had finished she starts glowering , I used to think it was anger but it isn’t it’s utter confusion and it’s so sad to see . She thought for a while and then spoke to husband , telling him yobs had torn down the big gates , he said oh don’t worry it’s all fine , she wasn’t placated I could see so I said oh the police have been and arrested them, they have gone now , it seemed to make a bit of a difference , she got up about 10 minutes later about 7.30pm and disappeared in her room , door was still open , we walked past about 10 minutes later and she was snoring like a train , so shut her door. She has gone to bed early for 2 days now , I am concerned slightly and may call the gp to see if he thinks we should increase her sertraline , been on it about 8 months at 50mg . Feeling very sad for her, I do normally but tonight l feel that I seem to not be able to help her much and maybe I should have done more , taken her to gp more but there has been no reason to as she isn’t going to get better than today, just don’t want to miss anything or leave it too late . Tom another day and will see how she is .
 
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