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Goodbye and Hello

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
391
It always brings me up when I realise this has been going on for 5 years @Woo2 . Makes me realise that you should make the most of the good times as we are way down the line now.
The card was a lovely idea and the leader of the group has also phoned me every couple of weeks or so which is nice as they are furloughed and have been told they shouldn’t. I belong to a local Carers group, also a charity and likewise they phone every now and then to see if I’m ok.
I’m on my own looking after mum so these gestures do mean a lot even though there’s nothing anyone can really do at the moment.
I thought things were tough before lockdown.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Oh bless your mum @Just me x I hope when it reopens mum fits back into going again. If you kept the card maybe you could get it out a day or two before she's due to go and show your mum it again and it may help her want to go again to see her friends 🤞 🤗
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Well everyone else here gets time away and even though she is my mum and I wanted her to move in, when I flounced out last week they all came and helped out so they can jolly well do it again if they need to !
👏👏 You go girl 🤜🤛 Good thinking. Figuratively and literally you go girl as in go out and get some space👍 I almost feel like I said that in an american cheerleader way :D
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
That is a brill idea @annielou :) . That must be very hard on you @Just me, I struggle and I have 3 others here, they don’t do much to help but they are here for me to moan to.I admire you .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
👏👏 You go girl 🤜🤛 Good thinking. Figuratively and literally you go girl as in go out and get some space👍 I almost feel like I said that in an american cheerleader way :D
That made me smile , don’t care if it was cheerleading or not it’s solidarity and I’m happy with that 👍 😁
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
391
It is tough @Woo2 for both of us really. Sometimes you just need someone there to pull a face at, ask if you’re doing the right thing or to get a rational response when emotions are raw.
It’s hard, the role reversal with your mum and over the years I’ve shown patience that I never knew I had but lockdown has made it hard to keep positive and patient and calm ......
Mum must be fed up just seeing my face all the time and she nearly leaped out of the window this afternoon when she saw the neighbours in the garden 😂
I can’t wait to have a trip to the supermarket 😊.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Agree completely , you do brilliantly I’m sure . I am learning to have more patience , I could never have envisaged years ago that I would even entertain the idea of being a full time carer , still have a lot to learn but it’s harder but more rewarding that I imagined . Who ever thought a shopping trip could be so looked forward to 😁Take care.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
391
Agree completely , you do brilliantly I’m sure . I am learning to have more patience , I could never have envisaged years ago that I would even entertain the idea of being a full time carer , still have a lot to learn but it’s harder but more rewarding that I imagined . Who ever thought a shopping trip could be so looked forward to 😁Take care.
I think everyone caring for someone with dementia deserves a 👏 and recognition. It certainly puts things into perspective.
You take care too x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
[QUOTE="Woo2, post: 1718393,
Well everyone else here gets time away and even though she is my mum and I wanted her to move in, when I flounced out last week they all came and helped out so they can jolly well do it again if they need to !
[/QUOTE]
Nothing like a good flounce!! And yes she might be your Mum but it does not hurt them to help out as well sometimes :)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
😂 It wasn’t a full on flounce as no one but youngest to witness it , it felt very good though. See I don’t see that , to me it was my decision to move her in ( with prior agreement from hubby and girls ) so it’s my job to look after her ,but now I think that I can ask for a little time off occasionally .
How are you doing ? X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Today is going to be fun I suspect , Mum didn’t seem to want to go to bed last night so hubby disappeared off down the garden , I went to bed about quarter to eleven , I can’t go to sleep while she is still up, eventually I got up at 11.30pm and went to the bathroom, then casually said it’s 11.30pm Mum, she got up and went to bed but was up super early this morning and is really confused and tired so she will probably have a couple of hours after lunch .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Oh dear sounds like could be the type of day I'd be sucking rescue remedy lozenges non stop. I hope your mum nods off for a bit and wakes up feeling bit less confused and goes to bed normal time tonight then you can catch up on your sleep too 🤞 🤗🤗 Maybe a day for you to take another drive x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Thanks @annielou , she sat staring out window so after her second breakfast 😂 (Hubby has already given her cereal) I three a blanket over her and said “have a nap mum , you look tired “ , she fell asleep at 10am and still asleep👍 she will normally wake up fine . we think she is moody but sometimes it’s tiredness and confusion so we try to be a bit more gentle and understanding. Last night’s late night is not to be repeated in a hurry so hubby will pretend to go to bed too and lock up /turn off and then come out once she is in bed. Hope your day goes ok🤗 X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,630
Bedford
I hope that your Mum’s morning nap has done the trick and you are having a peaceful day. I am just contemplating an afternoon nap 😴
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
She is better thank you @Bikerbeth , has read her paper in the garden, now eating an apple listening to the birds singing , I can tell the look is only a heartbeat away though so carefully treading around the eggshells ;) . Go for it , power nap just the job👍
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
Did i speak slightly too soon ....... yes I did ! Mum got up, walked up and down hallway, around the garden , stood in kitchen doorway looking perplexed , then sat in a garden chair glaring , ask her what’s wrong she doesn’t answer , go get washing in come back and ask what’s the problem “there is something at the end of the runs , the end of the line , it shouldn’t be there , it’s wrong and dirty and unhygienic , it’s behind the kitchen doorframe “ I couldn’t make head nor tail of what she was saying , told her to wait a while and it would come back to her , it’s still bothering her whatever she is thinking about , put her fave film on but she is still just staring out the window . Going to be a looong evening . Youngest unaware but just came down for a drink and went and cuddled Nan, hubby disappeared down to shed :rolleyes: Looks like I’m dealing with it by myself then. We have completely stopped mum having any alcohol, has made no difference at all, she actually seems a lot more confused in the last 10 days we haven’t given her any , prob coincidence . She and dad had drunk every night really for at least 30 years so I am questioning wether I should stop her having any. It was only 1 glaas of wine or 1 G & T .
 
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annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Your second breakfast comment made me smile, hubby is big fan of Lord of the rings and the hobbit films and they have second breakfasts. Shame mum was confused again this afternoon, hope she settled into her film after you last posted. End of the runs, line sounds like something from a factory or maybe a chicken run. Maybe something she dreamed about bless her. I hope the evening goes better X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,786
South East
She didn’t watch film at all, was very quiet ,had nice dinner but said nothing , ignored my conversation attempts , hubby put a documentary on about royals (she loves them) she watched that and I got up to wash up , hubby watering garden , when I went in after a few minutes she had gone to bed ! No night nothing , it’s the best thing for her to sleep when she feels like that . Taking the opportunity to get an earlier night too .