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Goodbye and Hello

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
So glad you had a good day @Woo2 x Those moments when you see how vulnerable they are are horrible aren't they big whacks in the heart. Life is a b@@ch at times isn't it. You've had your share of injustice too so try be nice to you too 🤗
Hope today continues as it's started🤞🍀
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Thanks @annielou , same for you . Yep it is , horrid but hey keep plodding on . If I dwell on it it will send me crazy so I just have to move on . I understand your feelings about hubby too . I feel like it’s a juggling act trying to keep everyone happy , really tiring . X
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Ok day yesterday , mum woke up happy , I was happy too , had breakfast and a laugh or two , I went out in garden to paint fence panels , Mum was happily sitting in her chair watching me and the birds . Youngest made everyone lunch while I carried on painting ,all ok, Mum gets up and comes indoors and drops off , came back out when she woke up . The new thing is she doesn’t get dressed until about 7pm . Evening fine , had a small glass of wine with dinner , stayed up until 9.30pm, went to bathroom , was in there about 10 minutes so knew something was up, she had got in a pickle in there . Tiny amount of No 2 ‘s on side of bath, no toilet roll there so that’s progress . I am monitoring the effect of the small glass of wine . It’s very rare now she has any whereas previously her and dad drank every day .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,144
Bedford
There certainly is no justice to it. For me I have to remind myself that up to 89 years old Mum was still having a good life driving and socialising and otherwise was generally fit and healthy.
On the positive it is funny how your hubby can get your Mum giggling like a child, my OH can do that as well. Yet it would take me hours to get a laugh. I guess for me it is the different relationship.
It sounds like you had a productive fence painting day and good on youngest making lunch. Sorry to hear the evening dipped a little. I wonder why your Mum is not getting dressed until 7pm, I am not sure if I have read that as a behaviour on this forum.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,343
Nottinghamshire
I had to stop giving my dad any alcohol @Woo2 but he didn’t notice when I swapped him to alcohol free beer. I had to deal with the fall out when my siblings gave dad alcohol - they didn’t believe it was causing problems and on one occasion called out an ambulance then asked me to sit with him. Brother had given him a glass and a half of wine!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
Glad yesterday was ok 👍 shame about the bath incident though. Wonder why mum gets dressed in the evening? Did she used to do something in past abut that time? Maybe have dinner, go out for the evening, come home from work, or your dad come home from work at that time? Is she perhaps remembering getting changed at that time of day? Quite a few people get changed after work into something else for evening at home could mum be doing something like that? I used to know a lady who wore an smock type apron all day and what she called her house clothes, but before half six when her husband was due home she would take the apron off and put nicer clothes on and tidy her hair. She carried on doing the same thing after he died, it was her routine.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
There certainly is no justice to it. For me I have to remind myself that up to 89 years old Mum was still having a good life driving and socialising and otherwise was generally fit and healthy.
On the positive it is funny how your hubby can get your Mum giggling like a child, my OH can do that as well. Yet it would take me hours to get a laugh. I guess for me it is the different relationship.
It sounds like you had a productive fence painting day and good on youngest making lunch. Sorry to hear the evening dipped a little. I wonder why your Mum is not getting dressed until 7pm, I am not sure if I have read that as a behaviour on this forum.
I just feel sad , mum & dad had us young , my dad died at 72 and Mum is 70 , feel I will lose them both at relatively young ages , it can’t be helped but I just wish they had had a retirement of sorts , dad was too poorly so they had not had any real good times since he was 60. It’s not the right attitude I know I just feel they were a little hard done by, they had a very hard life and lost 2 children . Not sure about the getting dressed late, most days now she doesn’t even get dressed. I ache today in strange places but boy the fence looks nice :)
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
I think we might get to that point soon @Bunpoots , have weaned her off a G &T nightly to one once a week or small glass of wine but that will go too. Thank you .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Thank you @annielou :) 👍Why didn’t I work that out, Mum too wore the apron all day and at 6pm went off to change and do hair and make up before dad got home , she hadn’t done this for years and years but it explains it perfectly now . She has been getting her make up out too (not using it though ) . Thank you so much , much appreciated😊. X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,144
Bedford
I just feel sad , mum & dad had us young , my dad died at 72 and Mum is 70 , feel I will lose them both at relatively young ages , it can’t be helped but I just wish they had had a retirement of sorts , dad was too poorly so they had not had any real good times since he was 60. It’s not the right attitude I know I just feel they were a little hard done by, they had a very hard life and lost 2 children . Not sure about the getting dressed late, most days now she doesn’t even get dressed. I ache today in strange places but boy the fence looks nice :)
I don’t think right or wrong attitude comes into it. It does feel like they were hard done by. Times have changed ‘since the bad old days’ and I think everyone expects rightly a little bit of time after retirement nowadays to have some good times to do something they have always wanted to do but couldn’t because work got in the way.
will tell OH what a good work out painting a fence is once he has finished the outside and the relevant paint is available to buy again:D
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
😊 I am still aching but scrubbing garden ornaments now , have cut down some bamboo’s in mil garden and now have mountains of greenery do get rid of ! Loving the weather though , might even get bbq out . Have a good day.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,144
Bedford
Scrubbing garden ornaments - good I’ll add that one to OH’s to do list :) Feel free to keep coming up with ideas. It is indeed gorgeous weather - are you getting out for your walk each day.? We went out at 8am but busy with dog walkers so we are going to go back to later. Hope you have had a good day.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Oh bless him , think I will keep Schtum @Bikerbeth or I will be in trouble with him :) Housework today as mum was in the mother of black moods , I tried several times but was blanked or a harsh yes or no response , gave up trying so threw my energy in to dusting and hoovering .i kept taking tea’s and water to her room and knocking on door saying “ mum there is a cup of tea here for you “ cheerfully , no answer so I walked away and left them outside door , she opened it when I left ,took them and lunch in and shut door again:rolleyes:. Came out at 4.30 with face like thunder so I turned my serious A game on being ridiculously happy and smiley and she glared at me but came out , we think it was for dinner ! Just made chicken and pasta bake😣 really didn’t enjoy the little I had but everyone else said how nice it was so maybe I will have to do it a bit more often . Thank you and @annielou for the idea👍. No walking but have been worn out from being in garden all day and had a break from mum so all good . Will catch up now on your thread .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
Sorry about mums mood today, but well done you on keeping bright and happy with her and keeping your patience, you're a star. Hope your mums in a better mood tomorrow x
Dinner sounds yum to me but sorry pastas not your cup of tea, you'll have to make yourself something different next time x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
I would like to like pasta @annielo and I used to it, it just makes me so bloated , I do try and cook and chill it and then reheat as I read somewhere it reduces the gi content . I dislike cooking separate meals , daughter vegetarian so refuse to cook 3 different meals , it was ok and I would eat it again . Mum is fine now so hopefully be ok until the next time . She is slowly getting used to hubby and daughter being around all the time , then they will be back to work and college and she will need to get used to a new routine again . All relaxed here again for now 😊 .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,144
Bedford
It’s ok, he does not read on here. You are safe especially as we only have one garden ornament :). He is continuing with house and I stay in the garden and do any paperwork.
sorry to hear that your Mum was not in a good mood today but well done on using your good acting skills and managing to keep That happy face. I am not sure I would have your patience. We had chicken chasseur with the help of a packet mix.
Pleased that the end of the day was relaxing
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Hmm I must be a good actor 😁 What other choice is there really , as said to hubby if I don’t apologise and make it better then I feel guilty that she is upset and I end up being stressed so easier to just deal with it asap, it no longer bothers me taking the blame for anything and everything. Dinner sounds perfect , one of my fave dishes, accompanied with a nice glass of wine finishes it off. Thanks , hope your evening nice and relaxing too .
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,637
South East
Been an ok couple of days, youngest got Nan in shower weds , I honestly don’t ask her to do these things for her Nan she does it off her own bat , she is naturally very caring , if she sees mum has had an accident she just gets on and cleans up and doesn’t mention it . ( I am very lucky to have her around and I will miss her so much when she goes back to college ) eldest is kind and caring too but can’t really deal with anything out of the ordinary , no criticism they just are so different . Bit of huff and puff mood occasionally , Hubby and I disagree about mum sitting in garden, he worries she will get sunstroke and is constantly moving parasol to keep her in the shade . I think it’s nice for her to sit out and listen and watch the birds. I am going to order some dip strips to check her urine , she couldn’t manage to get a sample for gp last time, will also get her some fibrogel as I think she is a bit bunged up , after ruling these things out I will have more idea if it’s a normal deterioration which I was expecting anyway . I got up mid meal tonight to get a drink and when I turned back she was taking chips off my plate 😂 . She had cereal and toast this morning then when daughter had a banana mum glared so I got one for her . I have cut her back from all the cakes , biscuits and chocolates she was having at home with dad but she really likes her food , she eats so much more now than I can ever remember , I try and not worry about it as I am aware she may suddenly change and not want to eat, occasionally she has said she doesn’t want breakfast or lunch but if I ask her again a few minutes later she says oh yes please .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
Glad you've had couple of ok days, maybe the nice weather is helping your mums mood, whatever it is hope it continues 🤞 Well done 👏 youngest on helping with her nan thats good of her.
Between you and hubby I think you've got mum covered with the garden, I'm sure if you're out there your mum will want to be where she can see you and if hubby is moving parasol she'll be nice and protected from the sun.
Hope you get to the bottom of things with your mum (oh just realised what I put 'the bottom of things' no pun intended but it just made me smile so decided to leave it in hope it does you too😁) I think mum has deteriorated memory wise but am hoping some of it is down to her cold and she improves.
You made me smile thinking of your mum pinching your chips while you weren't looking lol, did she look guilty when you turned round or did she not realise you'd seen?