Good relationship with siblings

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Lynmax, Sep 11, 2018.

  1. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    After reading many threads on here about problems with siblings, I realise how grateful I am that I get on so well with my brother and sister in helping Mum remain in her own home. We have a Whatsapp group which includes my sister who lives in the US so that she is up to date with all the issues for when she makes her bi-annual visit home. We all work together, share the workload amicably, deal with problems as they arise with whoever has the most time to help,or is best suited to sort out the problem. I am the only one of us who is retired but genuinely feel that my siblings do their fair share and that we are equally involved. I tend to take Mum to medical appointments, my sister does all the shopping and checking on domestic issues and my brother sorts out household problems and takes my Mum to home football matches! Between us, she has company four or five days a week with lots of meals out and outings.

    So today we swapped numerous messages to arrange an appointment for us to discuss some financial concerns with her bank, my sister took round her shopping, changed the bed, sorted out dressings for the sores on her legs and took her out for lunch. My brother went round after work taking some food for tea and stayed for the evening. Tomorrow I am taking her out for lunch and then to the nurse to get stitches removed. All arranged without any issues!

    There are no arguments between us, we know what is happening at all times through our Whatapp group and have someone to rant to when mum annoys us!

    I really appreciate how difficult is must be to have "invisible siblings" or those who disagree with the care we provide. I just hope this situation continues for as long as mum needs our support.
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    Thanks @Lynmax
    It's good to hear it can work out!! I'm glad you're able to work as such a team and support your mum so well.
    Long may it continue :)
    Lindy xx
  3. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    @Lynmax, I also wanted to thank you for your post. I'm an only child, but my husband has four siblings and a mother who will need help at some point. I appreciate knowing that siblings can work together. Thank you!!
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    When my mother was housebound for 15 years I could not have coped without my elder sister. She was a tower of strength. My mothers own sisters and brother were fantastically supportive too.

    That is how a family should be.
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    It's good to hear positive experiences! :) I've got eight adult step children, and they were all very supportive when I was caring for my husband, although they left all decisions about his care to me, as they said I was the one affected most.
  6. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    south-east London
    What a lovely, positive post. I am glad to hear that you are all working well together - just as it should be :)
  7. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    Hi @Lynmax, it's heartening to see that things can work between siblings when caring for elderly parents. My brother, sister-in-law and I have a WhatsApp group too and it is really useful for keeping each other up to date.
  8. campervan21

    campervan21 Registered User

    May 4, 2017
    Myself and three siblings are very close and we were there to help each other when dad was ill and towards his end especially, within weeks of his passing mums health deteriorated and again for the past year we support mum in staying at home for the time being, and each other, I know I am very fortunate, it’s good to hear others do have support

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