Good grief how much more can one take
- Thread starter 1954
- Start date
I hope the meds help you. It`s bad when things get so bad we have to be medicated.
I know. Thank you. Mil home from respite tomorrow
Well as seems to be my pattern I'm up at this unearthly hour as like many of you (I'm sure) I woke and things are going round and round in my mind. It's annoying because when MIL comes home we have the monitor on all night so we NEVER get a full nights sleep
During the night we hear her giggling, talking in such a strong Newcastle accent that we have no idea what she's says. Then she speaks in such a low tone it's like she has a man in the room. At times she sings all the verses from the Gondoliers 'take a pair of sparkling eyes' (she used to do amateur dramatics but that was 60 years ago!)
And of course she sounds like she's moving all the furniture around but in the morning it's all in the correct place
6hours left and I'm off to collect her...........
During the night we hear her giggling, talking in such a strong Newcastle accent that we have no idea what she's says. Then she speaks in such a low tone it's like she has a man in the room. At times she sings all the verses from the Gondoliers 'take a pair of sparkling eyes' (she used to do amateur dramatics but that was 60 years ago!)
And of course she sounds like she's moving all the furniture around but in the morning it's all in the correct place
6hours left and I'm off to collect her...........
I've been on this medication for a long time. My depression is something that's separate to what's happened with my mum's sectioning and consequent admittance to a care home. Today, for the first time in a long time, I've started to think about suicide again. I know I'll be okay, because of the anti-depressents, and they're not addictive. I could come off them straight away and not have any side-effects. They are nothing like valium, etc. When I put off going back onto anti-depressents I'd mapped out a plan for how I could kill myself. I was strongly against using medication to alter my mental health, but I accepted that it was the only way to manage my life. With what's going on at the moment I don't know how (or if) I could cope if I wasn't already managing my mental health care.
Not very happy because when we got to the care home yesterday they said the commissioners had taken her home!!!☺️
I was enraged as we never set up for her to be brought home as we always pick her up! The care home said is there someone there to let her in. It took all my energy to keep calm! I told them no because I'd just started a different and stronger antidepressant as I am not coping looking after 2 mums and I was too spaced out to drive so hubby had driven
When we eventually got back the driver was not amused but nor were we!
I also gave strict instructions for them not to cut her hair (as they butcher it) but they ignored me so will not be sending any money next time. MIL has a stunning head of hair it's so thick and the best I've ever seen on an 87 year old so to see it ruined is upsetting
To top it all her clothes were filthy and quite frankly stunk and so were the clothes in her bag.
So stressed all the time she was away this time due to my caring for my mother that the whole thing was a waste of time
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I was enraged as we never set up for her to be brought home as we always pick her up! The care home said is there someone there to let her in. It took all my energy to keep calm! I told them no because I'd just started a different and stronger antidepressant as I am not coping looking after 2 mums and I was too spaced out to drive so hubby had driven
When we eventually got back the driver was not amused but nor were we!
I also gave strict instructions for them not to cut her hair (as they butcher it) but they ignored me so will not be sending any money next time. MIL has a stunning head of hair it's so thick and the best I've ever seen on an 87 year old so to see it ruined is upsetting
To top it all her clothes were filthy and quite frankly stunk and so were the clothes in her bag.
So stressed all the time she was away this time due to my caring for my mother that the whole thing was a waste of time
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I'm so sorry that your MIL has been sent home in this way.
it really isn't acceptable and must make you feel that you could never consider a more permanent arrangement. Certainly not in that home anyway.
There are better ones though and I hope you find one such place for your MIL's next respite. x
it really isn't acceptable and must make you feel that you could never consider a more permanent arrangement. Certainly not in that home anyway.
There are better ones though and I hope you find one such place for your MIL's next respite. x
Hi 1954. Just wanted to say how much I feel for you and wishing you the very best. Maybe you should consider a care home. My mum has gone into one and she seems much happier and healthier. If you find a good one then the person can actually be better off and you can reclaim your relationship with them.
I know it's stupid but i wished I knew how long this will go on for. Sorry to say this but as I've expressed before she has always been horrible to me and her two daughters. It's only my hubby she adores
However though I absolutely do not love her I DO care for her and feel protective towards her
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However though I absolutely do not love her I DO care for her and feel protective towards her
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My thoughts
To care for someone
Doesn't mean it has to be only you giving the care.
It means that you need to work out if you have a line in the sand, some people don't, some do
if you do have a line in the sand.... once that's reached, you find care for them that doesn't involve you so much
That's caring, in my opinion
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To care for someone
Doesn't mean it has to be only you giving the care.
It means that you need to work out if you have a line in the sand, some people don't, some do
if you do have a line in the sand.... once that's reached, you find care for them that doesn't involve you so much
That's caring, in my opinion
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Hello 1954
To a certain extent I understand where your coming from.
I care for my dad who has dementia with lewybodys and he's been my mum's carer due to her spine and depression for over 20 yrs. Hence I'm pretty much caring for them both.
My mum has now been referred to the memory clinic herself awaiting ct scan.
I am also helping to keep an eye on my father in law..he's got poor health memory problems and won't accept any help full stop. We are only local family for fil. I have a sister who will help if I tell her she has to. My parents will not accept help from anyone else.. I've spent 3 yrs doing it all for all of them. This year I reached a point where I realised I couldn't do it all and it was changes or no more..
I arrange a day a week at day centre for my dad and fil. Different ones my fil lives about 40 min away.
I say no and have had to be selfish.
I now tell my sister you are doing this today as I'm busy. I don't ask anymore. I tell ! Easier said than done..and I still end up doing the appoints. Meds. Serious stuff etc...but that's a lot less than I was.
My migraines were kicking off everything was hurting and my family hardly saw me.
The reality is that they know we re never going to leave our loved ones uncared for as we are caring people and want the best for them.
nothing changes without something drastic happening..don't let that something drastic be your health and sanity.
It's such a vicious circle we re dammed if we do and if we don't .
I wish I had a magic wand and everyone would feel equally responsible for their loved ones care.
Sorry I can't offer solutions to you.
Just wanted to say I know how you feel.
Best wishes
