good days in carehome and bad days

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by annii1, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. annii1

    annii1 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    194
    west sussex
    Saw mum today, she has been so settled of late in carehome, thought antipsychotics were helping after a year being in such an emotional turmoil and not settling in carehome. Today mum angry, hating it, took her out and had something to eat, which seemed to help, but I felt so.wretched taking her back, I hate this illness and all it destroys. I suppose like us all, mum will have better days than others. X
     
  2. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Yes, there are a few saintly folk who never seem in a bad mood but most of us get grumpy sometimes so I guess that will carry on if we get dementia. But it's great that you have seen her more settled, and she is so lucky that she has a good daughter who will take her out.

    Agree, hate this illness for all it does to our loved ones and the distress it causes those of us who must watch.

    Try to forget this visit, hopefully you just caught your mum in a bad mood. Keeping my fingers crossed that your next visit is happier.
     
  3. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    My Mum does that too, after a bad visit, I dread going back next day, but usually find she is completely different again:confused:, I too hate this disease xx

    Ange
     
  4. annii1

    annii1 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    194
    west sussex
    Thank you both. I think having 4 different visitors this week was probably too much for mum as unfortunately it reminds mum if what she used to have, so sad, my poor, lovely mum.
     
  5. Solihull

    Solihull Registered User

    Oct 2, 2014
    97
    West Midlands
    I agree Annii1 sometimes it is better to leave a few days between any visits as I am sure my mom needs her rest - too much conversation confuses her and reminds her of her past which I do wonder if this is good or not. Even the old photos must be unsettling at times.
    Sue
    Xx
     
  6. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    You are right about the old photos, my Mum refused to look at the photo albums about a year ago, they were definitely not a comfort to her, we just have a photo of Dad and Mum taken recently in her room now, she was throwing all the photos in the bin. Xx

    Ange
     
  7. Solihull

    Solihull Registered User

    Oct 2, 2014
    97
    West Midlands
    Thanks Ange, I was under the impression that we must keep mom's old memories alive but suspected that they made her quite sad. I now realise that the more recent photos of those of us she remembers seem to be more comforting xx
     
  8. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    I guess every person is different, my Mums care home keep saying about looking at old photos with Mum because they believe it helps, but it certainly doesn't help my Mum, just makes her angry and agitated x

    Ange
     
  9. Pete R

    Pete R Registered User

    Jul 26, 2014
    2,046
    Staffs
    There is just no right way of doing things is there.:confused:

    If there is I didn't get the memo. Anyone got a copy.:)
     

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