Good day, bad day, how to cope

[JaxG]

Its so good to know I’m not the only person in this position. Sometimes it has felt as if I’m the only person on the planet in this situation. Please please look after yourself. It’s a bit corny but You Are Worth It!! You are a person in your own right with needs and you are just as important as anybody else. I have to remind myself of this a lot and give myself a bit of a talking to!

Yes Talking Point has been a revelation and a life saver. Looking after the PWD is the loneliest place because no one else can understand what it's like. I have turned a corner, I am losing the guilt and an determined to look after myself. I really hope you can do the same, as you say we also deserve a life and to be happy!!

 

[Pots and Pans]

@Chris100 don't forget there is help out there too. Dementia Support Line - and your local Adult Support Care can probably point you towards carer support groups.... if you can make we can learn off each other! Plus they can help if you haven't accessed stuff like a carer assessment (,not means tested and recognises that caters need a break) Alzheimer's activity groups good too. Meet other carers there too so can have the odd laugh or conversation. It all helps when it feels a bit much. ( On the other hand I have just resorted to locking myself in the bathroom to get a break! Only had to talk through the door then.)

 

[slim-jim]

Hi I too am struggling knowing how to cope with my husband on a day to day
basis. I’m sick and tired of constantly being told / shouted at to “Stop Nagging”.
This is in response to trying to remind him to do things eg put toothpaste on the toothbrush, wear your hearing aids etc. He wants to disagree/ argue all the time
at the moment and I’m finding it hard not to retaliate and react. There’s no
empathy there at all. He has no idea or appreciation of what I do and I really do feel that I’m an unpaid career and not a wife anymore. I’m getting very resentful as
every single thing is about him . By that I don’t mean that he’s self centred or selfish I mean that everything I do has to factor him into it at all times. I have looked at the Compassionate Communication piece and whilst it sounds great on
paper im not comfortable with it. I’d either have to be a robot or a saint to put it
into action but i am going to try it in small bite size bits because I have to do
something to improve my relationship for my own sake and my own sanity.
I am sorry to rant and sound very negative and it has helped me tonight reading some of the other threads.

 

[slim-jim]

Really feel for you.I could have written your post word for word about my wife.no longer feel we have a life of our own as it is now given over to caring for our loved one who can no longer return that love.so so hard.

 

[Chris100]

Thanks for all your advice.

 

[B72]

At this stage, and I know things change, so who knows how I’ll feel in the future, I do find it easier thinking of my husband has having an illness. He has Lewes Bodies, and at the moment the physical symptoms have really increased a lot and I feel so sorry for him. Yes, the dementia has increased too, but the physical symptoms……. It’s hard to see him coping. We have a consultant’s appointment in March. I hope there will be medication to help with these physical symptoms. Sometimes I feel so upset for him. So at the moment, I find it easier to have patience with the dementia because the other side of this illness is so distressing.

 

[B72]

Also, it helps me to remind myself that it’s an illness. No point being upset when he forgets things - he can’t help it. No good reminding him about things, or explaining why something is OK/not OK - he won’t/can’t remember.