Yep!!!
I also feel the same and I'm brand new.
I already feel uncomfortable, excluded and in the dark, not to mention the "ticking off" I got for saying " ignore her"
If you people had a clue as to the severity of my problem, there would perhaps be a little more understanding. It seems to me that the one place I felt that I could turn to for support and understanding is nothing more than a run of the mill "clicky" chat room.
FOR YOUR FUTURE REFERENCE:- My patient has been diagnosed with the following:- VASCULAR DEMENTIA & CLINICAL DEPRESSION. Further to this she is a certified NARCISSIST & HYPOCHONDRIAC ( both these disorders were diagnosed in her 20's)
I have taken care of her for almost four years... and in those years I have never, not once experienced common courtesy, kindliness, decency or love within or from this woman. Her children can't bear being within 300 miles of her and her twin sister just tolerates her because my patient has more money than her.
I have systematically yet almost against my will, given up my own life to care for this woman. It is the most terrible, awful thing that I have ever done to myself..( I can only describe caring for her as nothing more than self flagilation) and it is the most thank-less, underpaid and dreadful job that I have ever done. For this I sometimes question my own sanity.
BUT, I do it because I care about my world and the people in it, especially the ones that can't help themselves. I deal with Dementia and I do a hell of a job. I take care of her household, manage the daily staff and the yard boy, (its a big house) I get up at the crack of dawn to make flasks of tea and sandwiches for staff. I organise household repairs, do the shopping and do the gardening. I always make sure that she has everything that she needs or wants. Arrange her friends to visit for tea... Pick them up, bake the cakes, make the beverages, serve, wash up, then drop them all off again.
I serve her breakfast in bed 7 days a week, even if I'm down with a yearly dose of flu or any other illness, I organise, set and cook all her meals, morning teas and afternoon teas and I sit and keep her company for hours on end even when she's been up all night, wandering around the house, talking of pretty blue flowers and chandeliers and her friend Sybil (who does not exist anywhere but in her mind)
I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without a weekend off or any respite time, because no-one else wants the burden of dealing with her.
I watch her standing in front of mirror's, smiling at herself, I listen to her tell a "cancer" stricken friend who's daughter was murdered and who's son was killed in an accident "oh well! anyway, I'm sick too... I've got an awful cold!}
I listen to her endless renditions of "I was known as the best cook, the best dressed, had the best house, the best husband and the best at everything" The self praise and self love never stops and of course, you all know about the "attention seeking"
I think I've done and am doing the very best I can, yet on this site I've already been made to feel inadequate, if not cruel.
So.. yes!!!
I do agree and perhaps this will be my last post too. I really hope that I can find a real, bona fida group soon.
Ditto