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Registered User
Oct 17, 2007
Hi I wrote about three years ago saying my Mum was in hospital full time....She died three years ago and after a major family fall out the week before. Tensions ran high and my father and brother took it out on me, my hubby went crazy at them for this and it turned very nasty. I wasn't there when she died, nor was I given a say in the funeral or even when the funeral was I had to find that out myself. She was cremated when she wanted buried beside her parents, I asked my sister for her ashes so that I could bury them with her parents my brother got there before me and claimed them. I could go on but I won't its in the past now. I feel empty inside now, I've know where to go no grave nothing, its like she wasn't on this earth, Bro and Dad wanted it this way so they wouldn't have a grave to tend. Hubby and I are going threw some difficult times now and I'm wondering if this has any bearing. I know she's dead but what I don't know if I have except that. My sister won't talk about it, she told me life moves on that was the end of that. I lost more than a Mum, but then I was always a Mummies girl. I haven't spoken to or seen my Dad and bro since the funeral. My sister tells me that my Dad is fading and to be honest I don't care, I don't even want to go to his funeral. To find a scrap of peace in all this would be nice to say the least. There are other really hurtful things they did which only add to this.

Anyway sorry for being a big softy. Maybe I need to grow a pair...lol



Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
I'm sorry to hear that you have been through such a tough time and hope that in time you will find some peace of mind.

My mum died 3 weeks ago today and family tensions made a difficult situation even worse, so I do sympathise.

Have you tried or thought about trying counselling? It might help.


Registered User
Jan 27, 2009
Dear Feral, I am so sad for all you are going through.
I was just thinking about you having no resting place to visit for your Mum.
Is there somewhere she loved, a special place or somewhere you enjoyed together? A place where you could go to think of her, maybe have a little plaque or flowers to remember her? It could be just your special place,wherever you choose your Mum will be there.
I just try to think that we live in our bodies while we are here on this earth, when we die we don't need them anymore, our spirit and our footprint live on free and in the memories of those we love and the lives we have touched. No religious faith is required in my thinkings, just faith in the person we loved that they are still around us.
Your Mum has the most special place, and that is in your heart.
And this is spoken from mine. xx