Just to let you know that my dad died about 1am on Sunday morning. Thank you all so much for your support over the last months, and especially with the stuff last week about having to decide whether he go into hospital or not.
Dad's GP called me at work on Friday lunch time and said he was very poorly and did i want him to arrange for dad to be admitted to hospital. If I hadn't had the discussions with people here that would have totally thrown me. As it was, I managed to ask some questions and be clear in my mind that staying at the nursing home was the better option.
Being at the nursing home proved definately to be the right thing. They've always been kind ( not perfect all of the time ...... but pretty much OK most of the time), but the staff there really excelled themselves in taking care of dad and of me. I cancelled everything at work as soon as GP phoned me, and went to nursing home and just stayed there. We had the privacy of dad's own room with his own stuff around, and the care of people who knew both of us and clearly cared for dad. We had to have "out of hours" GPs out about 4 times for various things, but they were there within half an hour of calling each time. I've seen it take longer to get a doctor in a hosptial. I played him some of the music that he likes and used aromatherapy oils to relax and calm and brought him a little ornament that meant something to him and had a connection with my mother. I've no idea whether he knew it was there, but i put it on the bed beside him.
I think he knew I was there. He never opened his eyes since last Sunday when he started with the chest in fection. BUt I held his hand and I'm fairly sure that when I squeezed it, he squeezed back a little. A few minutes before he died he opened his eyes ...... who knows really what was happening, but I'm chosing to take it to mean that he knew I was there and could see me and was saying goodbye.
I'm terribly sad that I've lost him. It's not been a straightforward or easy relationship with him ........ but since he's been ill and needed my help we've got close and I've come to love him very much. It's a relief that the nightmare is over ... for him at least. Now everything is focused on sorting out funeral. It's strange but even though I knew he was about to die, I was so focused on making sure I was there with him, and making everything as good as it could be for him .... i never thought as far as the funeral.
Thank you all for your support over last months. It's been hugely important to me. I'm not ready to disappear from TP just yet.
love and hugs to you all
Áine
Dad's GP called me at work on Friday lunch time and said he was very poorly and did i want him to arrange for dad to be admitted to hospital. If I hadn't had the discussions with people here that would have totally thrown me. As it was, I managed to ask some questions and be clear in my mind that staying at the nursing home was the better option.
Being at the nursing home proved definately to be the right thing. They've always been kind ( not perfect all of the time ...... but pretty much OK most of the time), but the staff there really excelled themselves in taking care of dad and of me. I cancelled everything at work as soon as GP phoned me, and went to nursing home and just stayed there. We had the privacy of dad's own room with his own stuff around, and the care of people who knew both of us and clearly cared for dad. We had to have "out of hours" GPs out about 4 times for various things, but they were there within half an hour of calling each time. I've seen it take longer to get a doctor in a hosptial. I played him some of the music that he likes and used aromatherapy oils to relax and calm and brought him a little ornament that meant something to him and had a connection with my mother. I've no idea whether he knew it was there, but i put it on the bed beside him.
I think he knew I was there. He never opened his eyes since last Sunday when he started with the chest in fection. BUt I held his hand and I'm fairly sure that when I squeezed it, he squeezed back a little. A few minutes before he died he opened his eyes ...... who knows really what was happening, but I'm chosing to take it to mean that he knew I was there and could see me and was saying goodbye.
I'm terribly sad that I've lost him. It's not been a straightforward or easy relationship with him ........ but since he's been ill and needed my help we've got close and I've come to love him very much. It's a relief that the nightmare is over ... for him at least. Now everything is focused on sorting out funeral. It's strange but even though I knew he was about to die, I was so focused on making sure I was there with him, and making everything as good as it could be for him .... i never thought as far as the funeral.
Thank you all for your support over last months. It's been hugely important to me. I'm not ready to disappear from TP just yet.
love and hugs to you all
Áine