Going Out or Staying In

[Practice]

My husband, who was always very possessive and didn't like me going out, was diagnosed two years ago., His condition is quite mild and he is perfectly capable of being left on his own for short spells of time. However, whenever I arrange to go out he goes into a mood and stops speaking to me, or else goes off on his own before the time he knows I will be back as if to worry me, which it does.

I am getting to the stage where I hardly ever go out without him as it is easier not to, but I am getting resentful and stressed and very unhappy with the situation. I do all the things I have been advised to, like writing on the board where I am and what time I am likely to return etc. but it doesn't make any difference. He also continually phones me if I am out. He has no interests outwith the home and despite my attempts to get him involved in things, will not do so. I feel like my life is over

 

[CJinUSA]

Hello. My mother was like this for a time, until we started getting carers in for companionship. I wonder if our departures prompt childhood (in my mother's case, it was certainly child*like*) feelings of abandonment. It got so the only places I went were to the grocery and to my job, and in both situations I was rushing rushing rushing to get back home because she'd be upset. Does he have a friend you could call to see if they'd come over to keep him company (or take him out for coffee) while you are gone? My mother is fine now. I can leave all day without too too great issue or explanation, because I have carers in place. But during this interim for you, perhaps trying to get a friend to come by, so you get some relief, might work? And if there is no friend who could do this, perhaps a neighbor could just, you know, drop by? I paid the companion we used - not too much, as she was happy to do it - and I definitely felt relieved to be out and about again, as I can get stir crazy . . . .

 

[PalSal]

Get out there

Hi there,
My husband never liked to go out as much as I did. He has been for a long time now (he was 49 and is now 61) and is really very good. He cannot take walks on his own anymore but he can talk and but gets quieter and quieter. He has never stopped me doing anything. When I travel alone....I arrange for someone to cook for him. (as he forgets to eat) I go out often, as I always did. But it makes me sad he is alone so much of the time. But I am assured that he is ok. Go, there may be a time when you cannot.
PalSal.

My husband, who was always very possessive and didn't like me going out, was diagnosed two years ago., His condition is quite mild and he is perfectly capable of being left on his own for short spells of time. However, whenever I arrange to go out he goes into a mood and stops speaking to me, or else goes off on his own before the time he knows I will be back as if to worry me, which it does.

I am getting to the stage where I hardly ever go out without him as it is easier not to, but I am getting resentful and stressed and very unhappy with the situation. I do all the things I have been advised to, like writing on the board where I am and what time I am likely to return etc. but it doesn't make any difference. He also continually phones me if I am out. He has no interests outwith the home and despite my attempts to get him involved in things, will not do so. I feel like my life is over