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Going out of my mind


Registered User
Oct 25, 2014
I really feel that I need to let of some steam. Its quite a long story

8 weeks ago my mother was admitted to hospital for a urine infection, she recovered quickly with Iv antibiotics the infection was so bad its knocked mum off of her feet, so I thought that we would be back home within a few weeks once the care has restarted and the direct payments has been sorted out.

Little did I know what was about to unfold in short its been nothing but an nightmare.

When mum was at home she had a number of uti's because of her dementia and anxiety/ agiaition issues the UTI's made it worse so she shouts all the time, day and night, I being mums daughter and carer is able to mange it. Because the care agency that I was told to use by the social worker, who is now been deallocated has no experience in dealing with challenging behaviour made many allegations about how I was caring for my mother when she was agitated, one of them was that a care had seen me giving my mother a cuddle to settle her ( this worked as she can listen my heart beat) another allegation were that I use to hold my mother hand to encourage her to have a drink, if I stroke her hand with verbal prompts she would give her self a drink both allgeations has been deemed by the safeguarding team that I have been restraining her.
So because mum is not able to wear bear any more I think mainly because the physio arent seeing her regaular enough, once a week, if they arent too busy some weeks has gone by without her being seen at all- there arugement is that they are really busy and also they have trouble with trying to commincate with mum, so all this went to a BIM with three options commiunty hospital, nursing care or home. I think that my mother wouldn't benifit from comiunty hospital as thee change in enviroment would confuse her, so that left nursing care or home, at the BIM the decision maker was unable to make a decision at the time 10 days later we had a decision meeting that was decided that as the balance sheet was equal for nursing care or home, they have chosen nursing care because I am able to contest it, mainly because the COP deputyship is being processed wit my solicitor.

So while all this is going on the care at the hospital has been well I'm not sure how to call it, in the 8 weeks, the nurses are either trying to over dose my mother on 135mg of her antidepressant medication underdose her, starve her, left her in her own poop! which has caused a grade 3 moisture lesion on my mother scrum. putting her in a chair that she has been very close to falling out of so many more issues, too many to list.
So now 10 days before christmas looks like my mother and myself, along with my sister ( who also i'm a carer for )will be spending christmas in another hospital.
When my mother was in hospital last year I promised her that I would make this year one of the best christmases for her, right now looks like that promise isn't going to be kept and there's not one thing i can do about it until after the new year. That's if the COP decides that my mother should be with me or in a nursing home.


Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
North West
This must be so difficult for you, your mum and your sister. It does sound as though your mum would be better off almost anywhere rather than in hospital (this probably applies to a lot of people with dementia).

I do hope the COP comes up with a decision that will be helpful to your mum.

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