My Mum died 3 weeks ago, in the most fantastic care home,myself and 2 carers with her. Thay were truly amazing people. Now the funeral is over I find myself obsessing on the dreadful weeks leading up to that moment and to be honest I am so scared of the future now. I seem to have lost every shred of faith I ever had and am doing a really good job of pretending I can see much point in anything except to my poor husband who is trying to support me. I hope it gets better as time goes on.
Going on
- Thread starter lonniefrances
- Start date
Dear Lonniefrancis,
So very sorry to hear your mum passed away recently, my thoughts are with you.
It's been 6 months now since my mum died, and I'm still going over her last few weeks of life.
My grief counsellor has been fantastic, she suggested that the district nurses come down and speak with me regarding their notes after their daily visits.
They came to see me after my GP informed them that I was struggling to come to terms with her death. They came 2 weeks later and brought all the notes with them, from their visits and the Marie Curie night sitters visits. It really helped because mum died in the early hours of the morning and I thought the nurses only visited her in the morning after she had had a seizure, but unknowing to me they actually visited again after tea time and written in the notes was that "Mum was peaceful and settled".
That made me feel lots better although some days I am still struggling with "what if's" and "If only's".
Maybe some grief counselling would benefit you, I think it's working for me!
Look after yourself, and I hope you find strenght in the weeks and months to come.
Alice jude xx
So very sorry to hear your mum passed away recently, my thoughts are with you.
It's been 6 months now since my mum died, and I'm still going over her last few weeks of life.
My grief counsellor has been fantastic, she suggested that the district nurses come down and speak with me regarding their notes after their daily visits.
They came to see me after my GP informed them that I was struggling to come to terms with her death. They came 2 weeks later and brought all the notes with them, from their visits and the Marie Curie night sitters visits. It really helped because mum died in the early hours of the morning and I thought the nurses only visited her in the morning after she had had a seizure, but unknowing to me they actually visited again after tea time and written in the notes was that "Mum was peaceful and settled".
That made me feel lots better although some days I am still struggling with "what if's" and "If only's".
Maybe some grief counselling would benefit you, I think it's working for me!
Look after yourself, and I hope you find strenght in the weeks and months to come.
Alice jude xx
Dear lonniefraces,
So sorry to hear about your mum.
I think that what you're feeling is quite normal - but it wil take time before it gets easier.
With both of my parents it was extremely distressing to witness their suffering during their final days/weeks (cancer), and although it was a relief to see the end of this I relived those months for some time and thought I would never be able to move on.
It's now 4 & 9 years since they died and now when I think of them it is mainly when they were well.
I was lucky in that I had my brother and sister who felt the same way and it meant we always had someone to talk to who really understood (a bit like TP).
Do you have anyone like this? Otherwise a grief counsellor sounds like a good idea.
But it will take time.
I am wishing you strength and courage and sending my love xx
So sorry to hear about your mum.
I think that what you're feeling is quite normal - but it wil take time before it gets easier.
With both of my parents it was extremely distressing to witness their suffering during their final days/weeks (cancer), and although it was a relief to see the end of this I relived those months for some time and thought I would never be able to move on.
It's now 4 & 9 years since they died and now when I think of them it is mainly when they were well.
I was lucky in that I had my brother and sister who felt the same way and it meant we always had someone to talk to who really understood (a bit like TP).
Do you have anyone like this? Otherwise a grief counsellor sounds like a good idea.
But it will take time.
I am wishing you strength and courage and sending my love xx
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Hi there. My mum died a year ago last Friday. I must admit I still relive her last two weeks. They sound very much like your mum's and the Marie Cure nurses looked after her during the nights. She lived at home with us so I was aware of everything which was happening to her. Over the months I have read the notes written by the carers and by myself during that time. Last week I also went back and read the thread I had posted on here during the time she was very ill and the one where I posted she had died. It gave me great comfort to read the words of all the people who supported me on TP.
I know it's easy to say but I think it just has to take time - however long that time may be. I think it will be different for different people.
Thinking of you. Take care. x
I know it's easy to say but I think it just has to take time - however long that time may be. I think it will be different for different people.
Thinking of you. Take care. x
