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Going on holiday

Kalexie

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
19
Hi everyone.

My husband is at stage 6 but he still has full control of his bowels and bladder and can still feed himself. We are going on holiday to Majorca in a few weeks time with some friends whom we have known for years. I realize now that this is probably a really bad idea but I have spoken to our care worker from the memory clinic and he said that as long as he has his medication and is never left alone, then there's no reason why we shouldn't go for it.

I did just wonder though, if anyone else has been abroad with their lo do you have any tips you could pass on please? Thank you so much in advance xx
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,070
North Manchester
All the queuing and going through security at the airport can be very distressing, you could ask the airline for assistance because of a hidden disability.

Has the dementia been declared on his travel insurance? Failure to do this may completely void the insurance for all claims.
 

Philbo

Registered User
Feb 28, 2017
805
Kent
I am off to Majorca next Thursday but sadly, this will be my first holiday without my lovely wife. She is going for respite care for 9 days and though I desperately need the break, I have mixed feelings about leaving her behind.

We last went away around 3 years ago, when I payed for my 2 sons and their families to go for a week to Crete (safety in numbers).

Back then, she was not incontinent and we managed to go through the airports, security etc but I found that she was very unsettled by the whole change of scenery, location, routines etc. It wasn't a total disaster but I decided that it had not been much of a holiday for either of us. Though my sons and DIL helped out as much as they could, I still struggled, especially when in our room.

She couldn't understand why she had to keep changing clothes - top/shorts for breakfast (we were all-inclusive), swimwear for the pool area, changing for lunch, dinner etc etc.

If you are going to a hotel, a good idea is to put one of your cases against the door, so that should your husband try and go out of the room during the night, the noise will hopefully alert you. (same for any patio doors?).

Hope it all goes okay and you both enjoy the break away.
Phhil
 

Kalexie

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
19
All the queuing and going through security at the airport can be very distressing, you could ask the airline for assistance because of a hidden disability.

Has the dementia been declared on his travel insurance? Failure to do this may completely void the insurance for all claims.
Hi there. Yes I have declared the dementia so hopefully we should be fully covered in the event of a claim. That's a good idea, I will inform the airline and see what they can do to make going through security less traumatic for him. Thank you xx
 

Kalexie

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
19
I am off to Majorca next Thursday but sadly, this will be my first holiday without my lovely wife. She is going for respite care for 9 days and though I desperately need the break, I have mixed feelings about leaving her behind.

We last went away around 3 years ago, when I payed for my 2 sons and their families to go for a week to Crete (safety in numbers).

Back then, she was not incontinent and we managed to go through the airports, security etc but I found that she was very unsettled by the whole change of scenery, location, routines etc. It wasn't a total disaster but I decided that it had not been much of a holiday for either of us. Though my sons and DIL helped out as much as they could, I still struggled, especially when in our room.

She couldn't understand why she had to keep changing clothes - top/shorts for breakfast (we were all-inclusive), swimwear for the pool area, changing for lunch, dinner etc etc.

If you are going to a hotel, a good idea is to put one of your cases against the door, so that should your husband try and go out of the room during the night, the noise will hopefully alert you. (same for any patio doors?).

Hope it all goes okay and you both enjoy the break away.
Phhil
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Yes I will definitely put something in front of the doors that will make a noise if moved, thank you, that is a really good tip.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,446
N Ireland
Hi there. Yes I have declared the dementia so hopefully we should be fully covered in the event of a claim. That's a good idea, I will inform the airline and see what they can do to make going through security less traumatic for him. Thank you xx
I don’t know the system where you live, however, in my area contacting the airport was more use. The airport issued a lanyard for hidden disabilities and it made getting my wife through the airport easier than it had been for a few years. Mind you, I had to persuade the airport staff that dementia is a disability so be prepared to stand your ground if needs be. The problem I had with the airline was that they said they would cancel our pre booked seats if we declared the disability and those seats were important to us.

We stay in an apartment when abroad so I use chairs in front of doors to alert me to wandering. I also leave the hall and toilet lights on as I would at home so that my wife can navigate at night.
 

Philbo

Registered User
Feb 28, 2017
805
Kent
I made sure that she had her name, hotel and my mobile number on a card inside her handbag (she still used one back then), explaining that she had dementia. This was mainly only during the evenings - not foolproof, especially abroad, but worth considering.

I also told the reception staff about her condition, so at least they were aware of our situation. Thankfully, once most people realise (staff, other guests etc) they are usually very understanding.
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
We are going to Italy in. A couple of weeks for what will probably be our last visit together. I have informed BA and we will be going to the assistance desk on arrival to collect a lanyard declaring a hidden disability. I have also asked for a wheel chair. My husband is slow walking in unfamiliar places and I also thought that it would ensure he does not have to go through security alone. Again, I discussed this with BA, and they have booked us seats in an easily accessible place too.
I, too, pile suitcases in front of the door, and leave the loo door open and light on. I am not expecting this to be a holiday for myself, so with that mind set, I will not be disappointed! My sister is travelling with us, so if I need to I can get a little sleep during the day.
One of the things I find most difficult when we are abroad is using public loos. If you have a male friend with you, this should not be such a problem. We are travelling to a very familiar place, so I have already thought ahead to where I can take my husband to the loo.
In the event of him becoming completely disoriented...which happened for a while last year, I use a cup of tea and some cake as a distraction and something ‘normal’.
 

Kalexie

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
19
Thank you so very much to everyone who has responded so far. Some really good advice given. Yes Amethyst, we will have a male friend with us and I have already thought that I can use the disabled toilets in the airport as I can then go in with him.
 

Kalexie

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
19
I've just been in touch with the assistance desk at L/B airport about the lanyards. The guy that I spoke to was really lovely, he said not to worry and that they would help in any way that they could. I'd no idea about the lanyards so a big thank you once again to those who mentioned them xx
 

B72

Registered User
Jul 21, 2018
132
We’ve just been to visit friends, in this country. I thought to myself, we won’t be able to do this in the future.

Because I have a tendency to cross bridges before things happen, I thought, we won’t be able to go, if one of our grandchildren get married.” They don’t live in the UK. So this thread, although not applicable to our situation now, is really comforting.

Is there any way I can save it for future reference, if I need it?
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,749
Kent
We’ve just been to visit friends, in this country. I thought to myself, we won’t be able to do this in the future.

Because I have a tendency to cross bridges before things happen, I thought, we won’t be able to go, if one of our grandchildren get married.” They don’t live in the UK. So this thread, although not applicable to our situation now, is really comforting.

Is there any way I can save it for future reference, if I need it?
Threads don’t ‘disappear’ so you could always do a search for it in the future or, even better, post any questions or worries you have when the time comes. Things might have changed a little by then. In fact none of us has mentioned a device that I have heard of, like a portable alarm. It fits to a door and sounds if the door is opened. More sophisticated than a pile of empty suitcases!
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,070
North Manchester
Is there any way I can save it for future reference, if I need it?
Yes, go to first post in thread and click on 'bookmark' at bottom left.

To view bookmarked posts hover over avatar on information bar at top of screen and click on 'bookmark' on resulting dropdown.
 

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