Going on alone

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
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East Coast of Australia
Esmeralda, life is complicated and is never what we expect once dementia comes into the picture. I think all we can ever do is to cope with life as it is right now. It is unhelpful to keep looking back at the past, it is gone and cannot be revisited. I know from Ray's journey that one day he would be fine and the next day have another stroke and more deficits that would have to be worked through again. It is nine years now since he died. As a widow I find there are a lot of uncertainties in my life but I seem to use those old skills to overcome them. Stay safe, keep well.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
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East Coast of Australia
Here we are almost Christmas again. Since I last posted we have come out of lockdown because our daily figures were around 300 new cases a day in New South Wales. Now with Omicron we have up to 1700 new infections a day and yet we have removed masks and have new "freedoms". I am very confused about that! But as an older woman I just find I live more quietly now and am content with less. I have enjoyed socializing with meet ups with girlfriends and lunches out but now the figures are bad again I will be more cautious.

Only my daughter and her daughter coming to lunch this year on Christmas Day. Unfortunately her husband's mother has just gone into a nursing home so he and their son will go up to be with her. Looking back on Christmas past I do miss those family gatherings we used to have but life changed for all of us after the strokes and then Dementia entered our lives. Ray has been gone over nine years now. And somehow I manage by myself. Have as happy a Christmas as you can manage my friends.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
Lovely to hear from you @sunray. I can’t believe it’s 9 years, mind you it’s 5 years since Bill died - where does the time go?

Wishing you and your family a happy festive season and a happy and healthy new year.
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
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Toronto, Canada
It is lovely to hear from your @sunray. Yes, times are very different now and we must learn to adjust as best we can. Life is change, after all. I so appreciate your positive and realistic outlook on life. Have a Merry Christmas and here's to improvement in the New Year.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
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East Coast of Australia
In just over three months it will be ten years since Ray died. I sometimes wonder what happened along the way. I lived. I worked around the house, in the community in various roles and I got ten years older. I didn't move from my house so the neighborhood changes and I watch the changes. The kids next door seem
Iike part of my family and I get included in some of their celebrations. My real family I see little of though Trev and Alice still come for a week of every school holiday and I see my daughter maybe four or five times a year , my son's family in Adelaide not at all since Covid began. I really miss them.

Over the last four years I've had four major operations but I am still relatively well. I have a friendship that has developed over the years so I speak to Peter every second night on Messenger and we visit each other for birthdays and special occasions. But there is no thought of living together or marriage at our age. He lives seven hours by train away from here and we both have our community involvement to keep us busy. It is at least someone else who cares in a world where so few do.

I guess at my age I am philosophical about life. Some of my contemporaries have died including my best friend, who died two years ago. I have many pleasant acquaintances and a handful of people I call friends and that has to do. I know I am lucky to be alive myself. I still go to church, to Lions and out to morning tea or lunch with friends on special occasions. It is a quieter life since Covid but there is still a lot of things I enjoy doing.

I hope all the friends I made on here over those caring years are doing as well as I am. Cherish the good times friends and move on, life might be slower but it is still good for me and I hope it is for you.
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
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Toronto, Canada
It is always lovely to hear from you @sunray Has it really been so long since Ray died? I shouldn't be surprised, it will be 6 years in August that Mum died.

As I have said in the past, you have a positive and realistic attitude which has served you very well, I think. I

It is an odd thing, but I feel close to people here. There are other members who have left, not to return and I wonder how they are doing now. I'm very glad that you do keep us updated on your life.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
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East Coast of Australia
I have been lucky this year as I've in seen all of my grandchildren . Covid prevented the family visits for two years but now we are free to get around again. The recent visit from my son and granddaughter as part of school holidays was briefer due to circumstances but we enjoyed our time together. They got to see my Adelaide grandboys and Alice got to meet up with cousins on her mother's side of the family. All good and enjoyable events. I get to see my older grandchildren around Christmas time.

My daughter and son-in-law are being transferred to Kargoorlie in Western Australia, 600kms inland from Perth. This was quite a surprise to us all but they will have some good adventures there I am sure. Ray and I left our parents behind when we moved inland so I guess this is not a new thing. We were young with a young family and benefitted from being on our own. I am sure Shirley and Craig will too.

Locally I am doing the same things, going to meetings, having morning tea in the shopping centre, going to church etc. Not world shattering events but I did do a night drive to a 50th birthday party, the first in a long time. I get around fairly well but my left leg gives me some problems in the colder weather. Let's face it I am an old person now. What hurts is that I am an old person without my Ray, something I sometimes resent.
 

Izzy

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Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
It’s lovely to hear your update @sunray.

What hurts is that I am an old person without my Ray, something I sometimes resent.

This really strikes me and it’s how I feel about doing things without Bill.

I hope all goes well for your daughter and SIL’s move. Look after yourself. ?
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
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Buckinghamshire
Sunray, even when there is plenty of activity/entertainment/distraction with family and friends, the painful thing is not having anyone to do nothing with ....... shared contentment or quiet moments of unspoken harmony. That's when I turn to music and books and I take comfort in my happy memories of good times.
Take care of yourself!
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
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East Coast of Australia
Once again Christmas is just around the corner. I have my grandson here, he just had his graduation with his degree in Biomedical Science which was postponed from last year. Covid is still slowing down proceedings here. His family now live in Kalgoorlie a Goldfields town in Western Australia, we will meet again next Monday at his other grandmother's funeral, Covid was involved in her death. The rest of my family are well and I will see some of them on Christmas Day.

At 75 I am in reasonable health and seem to be able to do most of my own housework etc. Life so often is very ordinary for me so I enjoy having my family here if only briefly. Old friends are precious too as I seem to have lost a few this year. Church and other activities still keep me busy . Fortunately all specialist reports were good this year so looks like I am healthy. Hope you're all the same.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Dundee
How nice to hear from you again @sunray. I’m glad you’re well.

Well done to your grandson - you must be a proud gran!

I hope you have a good Christmas and a happy and healthy 2023.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
24,920
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South coast
Hi @sunray , its good to hear your update.
Good that your grandson is with you, I expect that you are very proud of him.
Im glad life is going on and you are settling into the new rhythm. You sound much happier now
xx