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Going into a care home


Registered User
Mar 11, 2012
An elderly relative has planned to go into a care home. They have sold their home and will be self funding.

They seem to be doing everything themselves. I have spoken to people who have contact with them regularly and understand that no-one is supposed to know where they are going.

However, I had a good idea which care home it was; this was confirmed when I phoned the home this weekend. A member of staff told me that my relative has already brought some of their furniture into the home and had visited for lunch a few times!

Because there is a family history of dementia, I have kept an eye on this relation, albeit from a distance.

Should I be concerned?

at wits end

Registered User
Nov 9, 2012
East Anglia
Absolutely not. It seems your relative is being proactive and keen to sort things out. My Great Aunt moved herself into a CH in the last few years of her life, it saved us all a lot of worry!

I suspect your relative feels a bit let down by some of those around them and that is why they dont want it known where they are. Kind of two fingers to them. If this is someone you would have visited in normal circumstances then carry on visiting once they have moved, if not, then leave them be.

If only more people felt able to plan ahead for themselves!