Hi all, first time on talking point, but have been reading it for the last 3 years. My mother-in-law who is 92 is now been in a care home for the last 20 months. She has Alzheimers and vascular dementia and was diagnosed 3.25 years ago. When she initially went in we had a 3 to 4 week period where she wanted to go home but after that period she accepted that she was in the best place for her own safety and care. Now she is perfectly happy, always pleased to see us. When asked, she says she has always been busy. Besides the looking after her bungalow, which is rented out to pay for her care, it greatly reduced the stress on my wife and me. Just after Christmas last year I took my Dad for a memory test and was also diagnosed with Alzheimers and vascular dementia. Oh well, here we go again, but at least I now have had some experience how to deal with it and the system. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and they have had to come to terms with it. Dad seems to have declined a lot quicker that my mother-in-law and the family have just come to the decision that Dad should now go into care. He has not been out for months unless some one takes him, not looking after himself, cooking, sundowning, not recognising day from night, ringing at all hours to find out the time/asking whether it was time to go to bed at 2 in the morning etc. Fortunately we have managed to get him in the same care home as the mother-in-law. The reason I have put this post on is just to say that I know it is a difficult decision to make with regards to permanent care but when you think it is time for your nearest and dearest to go into care then you must do it. My wifes and my health suffered before the mother-in-law went in and I am presently going through sleepless nights worrying about my Dad. I know Dad will be asking to go home and that a few `love lies` are going to be told but I do know that Dad will be cared for and be safe, just like the mother-in-law.