Going downhill quickly!

[Sandycheeks]

Hello - I'm a newbie and just found this amazing forum!

Bit of background info - my Father in Law has always been fit and active, taking himself for daily walks and was actually still driving up until last year. For a long while I have suspected that he was getting forgetful and my suspicions were confirmed about 6 months ago when I passed him when out walking with the dog and he didn't recognise me or his grand-daughter. Anyway the family asked for an assessment and he was diagnosed with both Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers which came as a great shock. Since then he seems to have gone downhill really fast - he has trouble dressing himself, cannot tie laces anymore, puts the teabag in the kettle, won't eat foods he used to love - the list goes on! The most scary moment we have had was a couple of weeks ago when he decided to go for a walk around the block and got lost - we had to call the police out and he was found wandering next to the river - eek! He is still in his own home and we have strategies in place with all the family taking turns in his care provision (I do the morning breakfast and cleaning) but every day seems to bring a new challenge. It is nice to think that if I need a bit of support I can maybe check in with you lovely folks even to let off a bit of steam - OH isn't taking this very well, the dad he knew is not here anymore (mentally that is) so I don't want to stress him anymore than he already is!

Wishing you a peaceful weekend - J x

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Hi Sandycheeks, welcome to the forum, so sorry about your FIL, it must be such a shock to the family. It's one things to have suspicions but quite another to hear that diagnosis. Your poor husband, I know what it's like, my dad had Alzheimer's and the grief of tiny little losses just snowballs.

It is a worry when they're on their own and really can't grasp the situation. I think it will be wise to get onto any services and assistance straight away because they can be a bit slow to act.

I am sure you'll receive much encouragement and support here.

Stephanie, xxx

 

[Sandycheeks]

Thank you Stephanie its much appreciated

We have had help and support from the various agencies locally and they have been really good - it's just nice to know that I can talk to carers who are going through the same thing and understand how tough things can be!

 

[chris53]

Hello Sandycheeks, and a very warm welcome to Talking Point, yes such a shock when the person we care about seems "not themselves" it seems to happen so quick, can understand your OH not taking this very well, my mum went into "dementia land" in 2009,(diagnosed with Alzheimer's late 2010)OH was very supportive, as was my mum in law, but the end of 2010 my mum in law was diagnosed with vascular dementia! so has been a long hard battle to try to get supportive outside help, please do keep a diary on how FiL is, and do keep on to his doctor and social workers etc,keep them updated no matter how trivial the problem may be, maybe OH would find it a help to look at this website above all please know that you and your family will get support, understanding and non judgemental help as and when you need it, and even at times - smiles, please take care, keep posting, and wishing you a peaceful weekend
Chris x

 

[Izzy]

Hi Sandycheeks and welcome from me too. It's good that the family is rallying round.

I'm glad you found TP and know you will get lots of help and support here.

 

[Sandycheeks]

Thanks again - I think it all got to me this week though and just needed to chat to someone outside the family to others who understands (if you know what I mean). I work full time and yesterday I dropped little one off at breakfast club and went to sort FIL out with his breakfast before going to work. When I got to the kitchen he had literally crumbled cake and quiche all over so I had all that to clean up, then today he had emptied the entire contents of his fridge into the waste bin (I had just shopped and filled it up on Tuesday!). I suppose it's just part and parcel of this horrible illness so I had better "woman up" for the road ahead!

 

[Izzy]

Oh dear! Be strong! Sounds like you gave a good attitude though.