Going away and Christmas - do I say?

[monkeygirl15]

Two questions or advice about Christmas.

1. Do I put up Christmas decs for my mum? I asked her and she said she's like one or two decorations up - but I know that she will have forgotten that conversation a few minutes after. I'm not sure whether to put the decorations up or not as she is finding her home difficult anyway at the moment - feeling she isn't quite in the right place etc. I don't want to add to her confusion or heighten her loneliness at no longer having my dad around (he died several years ago).

2. Secondly, I am due to go on holiday at Christmas. The plan was that my sister would be stepping in during this time but I'm not sure that is going to happen. Normally, I write things down on her calendar - like when I will be visiting to help. She relies on the calendar a lot to help her navigate things. My question is, do I write down that I will be away on holiday and when I'll be back? Again, I don't want to make things worse but it might help her understand why I'm not visiting as often. But then I don't want her to feel more vulnerable either. She is refusing respite care btw so the best I've managed to get from the Council are some extra visits.

Any supportive advice would be gratefully received.

Thanks

 

[margherita]

I would put up only few decoration , just to see if your mum likes them.

I wouldn't write anything on her calendar.
If her memory is bad enough , she won't remember when she last saw you.
You could reassure her with some phone calls and the promise you will visit "soon"

 

[nae sporran]

I read your post on my Bah humbug thread, @monkeygirl15. Escaping from caring for a while is always worthwhile to keep going as a carer, in my experience. So, get away for a few days and if your mum has extra visits from Council/ Agency carers she will be ok.
C gets a bit confused about her mum and didn't even recognise the Christmas wreath she has had for years, but putting it up made her day. I would recommend putting a few decorations up just to brighten the place, it should help your mum.