Glowing ( - even gloating….!!!)

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Dec 21, 2006.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Ok, so gloating isn’t good…. but let me have my moment…..

    Just wanted to say a HUGE ‘thank you’ to everyone who has responded to my posts on various threads over the last week or so when I have been so down and negative (whaddya mean, just this last week, I hear folk cry???!!!):eek:

    Because my posts have been ‘all over the place’ (much as me) thought it best to combine a 'thank you' response in one thread … for everyone who has helped me restore some self-confidence and spread their selfless goodwill in this as well as so many other directions….. … and so to tell a little tale which hopefully will raise a smile for some of you …..

    Today was the visit to ‘St Sis’ (mum’s sister) .. you all know the sort… that one who never visits… yet knows everything and criticises me to high heaven ……:cool:

    Dropped mum off with St Sis - and continued to the coast with my son for ‘Penny Arcades’ and fish and chips on a December sea-front!!! Starting to feel better about myself already because instead of abandoning son to ‘what we have to do for Grandma’ today - turned the occasion into an opportunity to leave St Sis in sole charge for a few hours whilst I made the most of some silly, giggly time with my ‘Numero Uno’ ….

    Picked mum up from St Sis who had prepared a ‘goody bag’ for taking home (including whisky mum has vowed she doesn't drink :rolleyes: and pineapple she can’t chew… ho, hum, that’s for another day - today is for counting blessings - ......:p ) ……

    When we return home, mum’s priority is to forage in the goody bag …. I get a twinge as I see that ‘greed’ which has upset me before … and then some comfort that it’s not just MY bags of goodies she attacks…. THEN… wait for it…. “Oh, I thought she’d have sent more than that….” (Did I hear right? Was that the first little niggle I’ve ever heard about her halo-must-choke-her-sister?) …. Next. I’m practically on the floor as I hear a ‘thank you’ - for all I do - for what I have done today, including driving all the way there and back in "all that weather" … (life is suddenly surreal????)…..

    Meanwhile, my son has made tea for his grandma (bless!)…. At which point mum announces, “Oh, that’s so welcome …. You wouldn’t believe what an awful long time I had to wait for a cup of tea while I was there….”

    I’ve learnt a lot from today (and just so’s you know I’ve not entirely lost all cynicism … I trust St Sis has too - being ‘exposed’ to mum for several hours on a 1:1 instead of the cursory 5 minute phone calls when it suits)…;)

    Most of all, now I know she can criticise St Sis for next to nothing - I’ll take anything ‘on the chin’ …

    Thank you all of you for the ‘chin up’ - it’s standing firm and proud just now…. Bless you, thank you all….

    Now excuse me, I’ve got a few more cartwheels to do…..:)

    Love, Karen, x
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    hi Karen
    sounds as if you had a really good day all round!!!
    lovely to hear!!
    love xx
  3. abby

    abby Registered User

    Dec 19, 2006
    West Country
    Well you, primarily, amoung others have certainly helped me change my whole ethos in the last 24 hours, I now have strength, ability and information.....AND acted on my have helped so much.......more than you will ever know...

    Thank you......
  4. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    Hiya Karen

    I'm really pleased you've enjoyed your day and i bet your son has too, i think you've all had quality and your son.............and mum and sis........ i'm sure you'll all feel richer for it..............i hope you have many more of those kind of days!

    Love Alex x
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

    Sounds like you had a really good day. Personally, having spent way too many "summer" holidays at the seaside with it pouring with rain, I have got to the point where rain produces the pavlovian reaction of "good day to go to the sea" (that, or "we should be camping" which says about all you need to know about my family's luck when it comes to holdays). So December, with or without foul weather, seems an ideal time for a visit to the sea (bring on those penny arcades).

    You're going to have to think of other people to take your mum to - it does seem as if "absence makes the heart grow fonder" can cut both ways!


  6. mocha

    mocha Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Lancs, England
    I do like to be beside the seaside.

    Well Done Karen,
    Glad you had such a lovely day, living in N.W England myself I'm now trying to visualise which beach you went to and as I love to see the sea, I am quite envious. Keep up the euphoria for as long as possible.
    Merry Christmas XXX
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hi Karen, Can I suggest that, as you and your son had such a wonderful day. and your mum and St. Sis had an equally wonderful day [?], you should have these days on a much more regular basis. They will do all of you, all the good in the world.
    Enjoy the moment. Love Sylvia x
  8. jan.

    jan. Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    Cheshire, UK.
    Hi Karen,

    SOooooo happy for you, what an uplifting post. it`s so nice when you get, even a small utterance of appreciation, No......... It`s fantastic!!!!!

    Watch the cartwheels near the christmas tree:eek: LOL.

    Have great Chrimbo.

    Hugs Jan.:)
  9. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hiya Karen

    Really pleased that you had a good day with your 'man', very well deserved, dont know how you have managed to keep it all together without some sort of break.

    Had a good old giggle that St Sis halo has slipped a tat, enjoy the moment that you are being appreciated, I expect you are appreciated more than it is ever said, although it must feel like you have won a great big prize to actually hear it.

    I agree, you must try and organise this kind of break much more often, you deserve it.

    Keep basking girl.
  10. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006

    You definitely need to turn the St Sis visits into very regular affairs and go enjoy your son for the day

    Then it just might happen your Mother will appreciate you for the odd moment or two
  11. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    Hi Karen

    Really pleased that you and your boy had a good day! You deserve it. I agree with the other posts that St Sis should become a more permanent 'pair of hands' to give you some respite - albeit for a short period of time.

    Have a 'relaxing' Christmas!!! Speak to you in the New Year. :)
  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    I also believe that, as I use to be in your shoes with my mother sister , my mother sister would openly say, your not dumping your mother on me and all I wanted was a few hours break , she help out at the end , few hours hear and there after a year of me getting over in what she said about bumping mum on her , we began again to get quite close and I got to understand the relationship they had as sisters when younger and her own heath was not good , she died last Christmas & she was younger then mum , but I was glad to have those 4 years with her
  13. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada

    Fabulous day for you! I think you should drop Mum off to your sister at least every two weeks. Do everybody a world of good.

    Did you get any feedback from your sister at all?

  14. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Canadian Joanne if I read it right its not Wendy sister its her mother ? :confused:

  15. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I am so glad my mother's "little sister" (aged 80) was able to visit several times, and also notice that she, who did more caring than any of the others in that family, is the one who feels "guilty and inadequate" for all the things she didn't do.

  16. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Karen

    Just caught up. Cheered me up no end. You're a STAR!!!

    Hope you're still doing cartwheels!
  17. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    A Mummy moment!!

    Oooops, brains & fingers not connected. Going way too fast to absorb things.

    Sorry about that, Karen, & thanks, Margarita, for straightening me out.

    My only excuse is that I have no excuse.

    But, did you get any feedback from critical auntie? I have one of my own I could cheerfully throttle.

  18. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Margarita, you might have straightened Canadian Joanne out ... but I'm confused .... if it was Wendy's aunty I had visited it might have been a better experience??? :D .... Wendy (Mel) is the nice, good humoured one.... :) me ... Karen (Tender Face) the narky little so-and-so..... :D :p

    Canadian Joanne, 'Aunty worth throttling' (nice one!;) told me mum had been 'fine' ... apparently everytime mum struggled with her words AWT 'just left the room until she got over it....' Had asked her to help mum up her stairs for the 'loo' (discovered later mum was escorted to the old outside 'lavvy' (like -2 degrees in freezing fog yesterday and over rough ground...... Whhhhaaaattttt?) 'I did clean it up knowing she was coming ..... ' - she cried in defence ...

    Left with AWT saying 'See you when I see you' ... that's if she can manage to fit it in between all her life-confronting issues like jam-making ......

    Oh well, it WAS a good day ........:)

    Love, Karen, x
  19. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    Hi Karen
    glad you cleared that one up.....I was getting a bit confused......your welcome to visit my aunty any time.....Southend or Grimsby.....the choiceis yours;)

    Golly.....the idea of the outside lavvy at this time of year makes me shiver.....My Gran had one and my husbands gran still has one:eek:

    Hmmmm....."see you when I see you" is not greatly encouraging............:rolleyes:
  20. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    What, that you are the 'nice one'???? Get to know who your friends are here, don't you just?:p :D :p :D

    Karen, x

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