Good luck with you decision. Like others, I would advise you to be very realisitic about what will happen if you take on the 24/7 caring role. You will in effect be giving up your life to dedicate it to the needs of your MIL. And for an unknown length of time. What will you do when you want a day off, or a holiday away from your MIL. Or even two hours down the pub or in the bath. Will you be able to get respite? Double incontinence day after day would be a dealbreaker for me. Couple this with maybe night after night of broken sleep and it might become too much. Care homes get such a bad press, yet there are some good ones out there. Sure, they cost money, but what use will an inheritance be if you are too ill and exhausted yourself when it finally comes. Anyway, I apologise if I speak out of turn, and wish you all good luck with your decision.