Give me the strength

SallyB

Registered User
May 7, 2005
60
Hi Everyone,

I am sorry that everytime i come on here it is for help but you are the only people that really know what this is like.

I am in a real mess and don't know where I am going to get the strength from to sort it all out. Dad went into a residential home 3 weeks ago. He is deteriorating, not eating (at all), weight is dropping off, chest infection again (4th lot of antibiotics in 2 months).

My problem is that I don't have an EPA and now I have to sort recievership out. I have siblings that don't do anything, when I say this they disagree! (I am sure you get the idea from previous posts) LAst Tuesday a welfare rights man came to see us Re; funding amd deferred payments. As yet I have refused to sign the paperwork for the first 12 weeks. He tells me that I am right not to sign it as I donot have a legal right to sign it for my Dad and if I do I will be libel for the fees!

I have now recieved a bill from the care home for over £2000.

I know I have to get on and do the recievership but I know I will end up falling out with my siblings for good as I am not prepared to do it with them. I donot want to have to discuss everything with them. see previous posts, a telephone at £120 is too much in my brothers eyes. And on Tuesday when the welfare rights guy was here, my sister was asking if Dad had any money put aside for a funeral if all his money goes on care. He is still alive, I polietely pointed out that if he had no money I would sort it out, I am so flabergasted that she would even question how we would fund a funeral when she has always insisted that his money gets shared out equally, obvioously it doesn't work the other way round!

I think I am answering my own questions by writing this! I have to get on and apply don't I even if I never speak to them again. I just know what will happen, they will turn it all around and say they are too busy to do it and I don't work so i should do it for them.

Sorry for rambling,

has anyone done recievership? or have any experience of doing it in similar circumstances?

How do we come through all of these trials?
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hiya Sally,
No need to apologise. First of all a question, can your dad still sign his name (in some form or other), because if you could get a DIY POA, it would be easier - there are other threads in which Michael gave info on how easy it was to do.

Court of Protection receivership is a bit more long winded. I know we used a solicitor. I don't know if that is necessary; maybe there are forms that you complete yourself.

It actually sounds preferable to me if your siblings don't want to be involved, I wouldn't fancy having do discuss every decision with them. What is important is your dad's comfort and welfare - not their inheritance.

There is a factsheet, don't know if you have seen it or not.
472 Enduring power of attorney, lasting power of attorney and receivership, Jan 2006
Sorry don't know how to put the link in. But go to the very top left corner of the page and it says i factsheets, click on there and it directs you to the page (Sorry if you knew that already!)


Hope someone who has done C of P can give you more answers.
Love Helen
 
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mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
not much help I'm afraid.....but when my brother got EPA for my mum I think I had to consent to it ............? But a DIY EPA really seems the best way to go to me and you can get on with things straight away from what I can remember...
 

noelphobic

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
3,452
Liverpool
When you apply to the Court of Protection you have to inform the nearest relatives and they have a right to object. As long as none of your siblings do this then you should be able to get on with it. I believe the same is applied when an EPA is registered.

I sympathise because I have a brother who never sees my mum but is very interested in her money.
 

SallyB

Registered User
May 7, 2005
60
Hi Thanks I will look at the fact sheet. How do I do a search and find old posts?

I have tried searching for DIY POA and carn't find it. Never heard of it so don't know.

Thanks again

Sally
 

daughter

Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
824
Hi Sally,

Try using just the word 'attorney' in the search, it brings up quite a few old threads on the subject.

Good luck,
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
You will find information on the Enduring Power of Attorney at: http://www.guardianship.gov.uk/formsdocuments/forms.htm

The EPA form is to be found there [also below] but do read the other papers on the guardianship web site. The staff on the help line there are great! Also, no need for a solicitor unless you feel you need one.

The EPA can only be signed by the subject person if they can comprehend what they are doing/reading/signing. Often we wait too long to do the paperwork and they are past that point.
 

Attachments

SallyB

Registered User
May 7, 2005
60
Sorry for being so thick!

Having a bad time at the moment, just come back from seeing Dad and he asked me where Sally was. That waas the first time he has done that to me so pretty hard.

He cannot do an EPA now so it will have to be court of protection. I just carn't face all the trouble that is going to come with it, from family.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hi Sally

Sorry you had a bad time.

EPA is always a matter for the Court of Protection [CoP]. The difference is where the EPA is done before a person loses the ability to understand it, and where it is made after they reach that point.

If he is past the point of being able to comprehend the EPA, then the Court of Protection will appoint a Receiver - this is my understanding.

In which case, this would probably take off some of the family pressure. Generally there may be problems before this stage where one or other close relation [or a combination] is/are nominated to be attorney.... other members may get paranoid about it. But they cannot do so when the CoP appoints someone who is not of the family.

What everyone needs to remember is that the EPA is for the benefit of the person with dementia and it not only makes life easier, in a difficult situation.... it also makes things legal!.