1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Give Me Strength..........

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by cathy, Nov 4, 2003.

  1. cathy

    cathy Registered User

    Oct 16, 2003
    23
    leeds
    IS IT JUST ME!!!!!!!!

    I phoned the department dealing with our application for attendance allowance today (after the day from hell with mum) to be told that "someone" had "mistakenly" closed our application for mums attendance allowance and therefore we might have to start again as a new applicant. After waiting 81 days (since original application) and being told on numerous times our form was with the "decision maker" i am sorry to say that poor "matthew" on the other end of the phone got it straight in the earhole with both barrels, he painstakingly listened while i released all kinds of abuse on him and i finished off by bursting in to tears. The silence that followed brought on an attack of guilt by me and i apologised for my outburst at this poor boy who probably had nothing to do with the application being closed. What makes me turn from a thoughtful and polite person that has the patience of a saint with mum but the minute an outsider makes one step out of line, turns into a foul mouthed and rude bully.

    Please god make tomorrow a better day


    Cathy

    x
     
  2. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Oh, Cathy, haven't we all been there - and how close the tears are when we are at our wits' end! Don't feel too bad: sometimes a good old shout does wonders. Hope you get a result soon from the beaurocrats (I am still waiting on the same issue, too, although I have not counted the days yet!).
    Regards, Carmen
     
  3. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    good days follow bad days

    Oh how i feel for you, life seems so wicked some times - we have all been there and will be there again. I actually feel that so called support causes more grief than our loved ones sometimes - how i remember the tears and anger when i was trying to get Dad a home and funding - when you least need it.
    I have a silent anger now as Dad is so far down the line that i feel that he has gone already, but only last week my sister blew at the nursing home for leaving him in an uncomfortable position - sat forward and hanging over the side of a chair while asleep to the point his arm was crushed and circulation cut off. Sadly the battles don't go away and we will always have to follow things up for those that can't express themselves.
    Take care and end the day with a smile Susan
     
  4. Angela

    Angela Registered User

    May 28, 2003
    151
    Wales
    Cathy
    Well, I feel a little guitly, but will honestly tell you that I thought your posting was quite humourous.
    On the more serious note, and after reading the replies, we British are known to be patient, considerate and thoughtful, and when we do "let off" its obviously because we have been pushed. When we do "let off" we sometimes get a more helpful and positive reply, and before the guilt sets in, and then again afterwards, we feel better for it. So good on you!
    And no, it most definately is not just you.

    Again I say friends, contact your local Alzheimer's Branch. We can help with claims like this.
    By simply saying who I represent I get things done and answers.

    I wish I was a poet....

    When its tough hear what I say
    Smile and laugh every day
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Is it just me!

    Hi Cathy, No it's definately not!! I had a day just like yours last week. The whole world just went crazy and there seemed no way out or to get things to run smoothly. Well, it will pass, mine did, (not to say it won't return) and if you are a saint with what you are dealing with at home, then others who are not in such a difficult position should just remember, "there but for" etc. etc.
    Whenever you have to send in a form to S.S. or any other thing like that, take a copy first, I found this out the hard way when a form went missing. I just copied them from that day onward, now, when they give you that line, just send them a copy, mentioning the phone call and who told you it was lost. It works!!
    I do hope you have got things going again now, benefit forms are a nightmare, and as you say, right when you don't need it. I feel for you, don't let "it" get to you, not everyone could do what you are doing so give yourself a pat on the back.

    Love,
    She,
    XX
     

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