Dear Pammy, I can well remember the trepidation I felt leading up to my Mum's first respite. Like you I decided not to tell her. We put the case in the back of the car, went to the home and were admitted to the office. The deputy manager then helped me explain to Mum that we all were feeling pretty tired, that I had to have a little break to get my batteries charged up, and that to do that, would she mind awfully just staying for a week to let me get my life back on track. I cried, she cried, but she accepted it by and large. I think she was cross, but we went into the lounge and sat with another lady that Mum already knew from years back who was a permanent resident there. When they were firmly chatting away, I slipped off "to see if we could get a cuppa" and left (in floods of tears I have to say) but Pammy, she was OK, it did give me a break and it did her no real harm as she forgot it as soon as she came home. They even returned her back home on the day care mini bus for me. The next time, I arranged for them to pick her up as for day care, quietly passed them the case, (I know, it sounds awful!) She went off as usual and came back home as usual a week later. We did this for several years every 6 weeks or so, I couldn't have managed without these breaks to see my kids and other family and friends now and again. Carers do have some rights too. I hope it goes well for you, it does get easier as you become more used to it and the best ways to cope, but do go for that respite, if you can get regular rolling respite, it will help no end. Good luck, best wishes, love She. XX