1. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005
    As you may know I look after my sister who has dementia. The last two days she has messed herself. Do you think that this means that she will be like this all the time. She till gets up from her chair when she nedds a wee. This stage is getting very hard.
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Pammy
    first I'd check if anything else has changed.

    things like medication, laxatives, food, liquids.

    never assume anything in this business..... but it may be a sign she is not registering the signals now.
  3. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hi Pammy,
    I'm sorry to learn that things are getting tougher at the moment, but it could be one of the things Bruce suggested, or even a touch of cystitis.

    It might be a good idea to find out if the Incontinence Nurse attached to your local Health Centre of Doctors Surgery could call and discuss things with you. Meanwhile it might result in less laundry work if you get your sister up from her chair every 2 hours or so during the day and take her to the loo for a pee. Don't try to cut down on the fluids she drinks though; if it is cystitis or some other bladder infection that could make it worse.

    Best wishes
  4. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004
    Geting worse

    Hello Pammy

    Yes it is hard work when they get to that stage, but the advice already given is the best.

    Get the incontinence nurse involved, toileting every two hours helps although it can be difficulty if the patient won't cooperate.

    Good quality large pads are also helpful if she will wear them, they don't stop the mess but they contain it and make the cleaning up easier.

    Margaret is at that stage and I find that following the above procedure keeps her reasonably dry and clean, and problems to a minimum.

    Best of luck
    Cheers Barraf
  5. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    Hi Pammy,
    My Mom has had a couple of accidents but nothing in the last couple of months. about Three months ago my Dad was missing her so went looking. She was in the closet changing clothes which he though odd but didn't pursue it. He also found a bit of a poopy mess in the bathroom but also, didn't think much of it. The next morning he went out to the mail box and found a plastic bag with...........you probably have guessed it, her poopy underwear :eek: THANK GOODNESS HE CHECKED THE MAIL BOX BEFORE THE MAILMAN CAME !!!!!
    WE have no idea what she was thinking but I personally feel she was mortified, tried to hide it and confused the trash with the mailbox.
    Well, fortunately that was an isolated incident and at least for now we seem to handle it by being familiar where the rest rooms are at the places they shop.
    I'm sure the time for this to be a full time problem is around the corner.

    I hope it will be awhile before your face with this again.

  6. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005
    thanks for replies. No she isn't eating or drinking anything different and her only medication is aspirin and cholestoral tablets.If it continues I will contact the disrtrict nurse as she has been very helpful. We get the pads through her.

    Someone recently was talking aboput baby alarms, we got ours free through social services although it doesn't seem to work. I will have to contact them and get it changed.

    Anyway today hasnt been so bad no mess as yet.
  7. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005

    Ten days on and everything now seems almost back to normal. Think it was another TIA thatt made my sister go downhill for that week. She even got stuck in the bath and needed two of us to help her out but now she gets in and out again on her own and no more messes.

    Next big thing is first time in respite next week. She is going to a special dementia unit attached to the local old peoples home. I will not be able to tell her where we are going as she wont get in the car. She is adamant that she can look after herself and definitely would not go into a home. I may tell her she is staying a few days for a sort of medical assessment of her illness. What do you think?
  8. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    I definitely recommend a white lie. A medical assessment is a good one. And it's sort of the truth, which helps.

    Tell us how it goes.
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Dear Pammy, I can well remember the trepidation I felt leading up to my Mum's first respite. Like you I decided not to tell her. We put the case in the back of the car, went to the home and were admitted to the office. The deputy manager then helped me explain to Mum that we all were feeling pretty tired, that I had to have a little break to get my batteries charged up, and that to do that, would she mind awfully just staying for a week to let me get my life back on track. I cried, she cried, but she accepted it by and large. I think she was cross, but we went into the lounge and sat with another lady that Mum already knew from years back who was a permanent resident there. When they were firmly chatting away, I slipped off "to see if we could get a cuppa" and left (in floods of tears I have to say) but Pammy, she was OK, it did give me a break and it did her no real harm as she forgot it as soon as she came home. They even returned her back home on the day care mini bus for me. The next time, I arranged for them to pick her up as for day care, quietly passed them the case, (I know, it sounds awful!) She went off as usual and came back home as usual a week later. We did this for several years every 6 weeks or so, I couldn't have managed without these breaks to see my kids and other family and friends now and again. Carers do have some rights too. I hope it goes well for you, it does get easier as you become more used to it and the best ways to cope, but do go for that respite, if you can get regular rolling respite, it will help no end. Good luck, best wishes, love She. XX

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