Getting worse or just a bad day?

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
We went to see Jean yesterday and she seemed very 'bad' for want of a better word. She had put her cardy on under her jumper (which was back to front) and she couldn't remember our names. The names part especially upsets my husband as he is her grandson. :(

Then she spent the hour we were with her asking where her sister was and when I said she was at home (she lives next door) she kept going next door to see her, although she couldn't remember which way it was, despite there not being a house on one side of her. At one point she had just walked back in and hadn't even shut the door behind her when she was asking where her sister was and saying she was going to see her again even though I explained that is where she had just come back from. I think it might be worry on her part because her sister is dieing and I think she is just checking she is still around. Trouble is she can't remember when she last checked on her.

Also we think she may have a bowel problem as the toilet is always in a right state and gav cleans it as best he can but it is still worrying as we have no idea how to deal with that. :(

Can decide if it was just an off day or if she is getting worse. I am really dreading the day her sister dies - what if she keeps asking me where she is and I have to explain every time that she is dead? Am not sure I could cope with that.

Blue_Gremlin
 

susieb

Registered User
Apr 16, 2006
26
I've found that it varies day to day, gradually getting worse, so the lows gradually get lower and the highs gradually get lower too - but i suppose everyone is different.

We avoided keep explaining who had died - made excuses why now wasn't a good time etc - makes you feel wrotten - but we found it the best way in the end. So, ' the buses aren't running today', 'she'll have gone to bed by now', 'we don't want to go out in the dark', 'can't find her house without the map' etc - it worked best for us, but I'm not proud of this approach, and it wouldn't suit everyone - in our situation it seemed cruel to say they'd died, because its like hearing the news for the first time, and we couldn't go through that - you have to be kind to yourself too.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Hopefully it was just a bad day



Also we think she may have a bowel problem as the toilet is always in a right state and gav cleans it as best he can
Is the home help still comeing around? or do they not go around on a Saturday ?who is gav? can you not get a carer in every day just wondering

Was wondering did your husband find another Job?
 

Blue_Gremlin

Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
89
41
Morecambe, UK
Margarita,

Gav is my husband and no he hasn't found a new job yet - has an interview this friday though.

The home help are coming in every morning but Jean keeps refusing any help with washing and stuff so I guess it is a bit difficult for them to tackle the bowel thing.

Blue_Gremlin
 

jan.

Registered User
Apr 19, 2006
405
Cheshire, UK.
Hi Blue Gremlin,

I`m having trouble with my dads incontinence at the moment. I`m hoping that when he goes for respite next weekend that the social worker will have sorted the problem of "pads" out, because it`s costing me an arm and a leg at the moment. I`ve also been told that the doctor can put them on prescription for dad, which i didn`t know about. That`s the good news........ the biggest problem i find is trying to get dad to keep them on!!!! Because in his eyes he hasn`t got a problem with his bowels!!! So i have to use a lot of psychology, just to get him to keep them on.......and i`m with dad all the time, as he lives with us.

I do hope you can find a solution to your problem, as it can be as embarrassing for your loved one as it is for us. I constantly have to reassure dad that it`s not his fault, it`s his illness.

Good luck,
Jan.