Getting used to caring

[nickyromf]

Hi! My mum has moved from Colchester to Cardiff to live across the road from me in sheltered accomodation. She's been here a week and I'm finding it really hard to cope... I'm working with the doctors and social services to get a care package in place and I went to a carers meeting last night which was good. What I can't get a handle on is the fact that its absolutely turned my life upside down. I feel as though I've lost all control of what I do and when. My partner is very supportive but I am worried about the accumulative effect all this will have on us.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the pressure? I feel like such an idiot for feeling this upset after only a week.

Many thanks for your help.

 

[Brucie]

First thing is to realise that what you feel is completely normal.

Second thing is that most people here on Talking Point understand entirely.

There is no magic bullet, just take a day at a time, and keep yourself together as much as you can.

Posting on here helps a lot!

Good luck, and give my regards to Llandaff

 

[mel]

Hi Nickyromf
I understand!!!

My dad died 2 years ago and we were then faced with caring for mum(she sadly died last week)
Yes....our lives were turned upside down and you're now going through a period of adjustment and yes, it is hard.
As Bruce says take each day as it comes, don't look too far ahead, just go with the flow.
It'll take time but you'll get there!
Please continue to post here....you'll get lots of support and information on here
Love and take care xx

 

[Skye]

Hi Nickyromf

Yes, it does turn your life upside down, and it's hard!

I think it may be harder for someone in your situation, because you're suddenly thrust into coping with a devastating illness. Those of us who are caring for a partner have had time to come to terms with the situation, and the problems have usually built up gradually.

But it's still hard. I can only agree with Bruce and Wendy -- all you can do is deal with one day at a time. There will be good days as well as bad.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Nickyromf

I read your post with absolute sympathy.

Not only have you to adjust to having a mum in sheltered accommodation, but instead of living a fair distance away, she is living just across the road.

It`s not surprising your life has been turned upside down.

Once the care package is in place and things settle into a routine, you should find it easier to cope. By then you may also find yourself more able to come to terms with the situation.

I`m not for a minute suggesting all problems will vanish, but you are expecting too much of yourself if you are acusing yourself of being an `idiot` after only one week.

Keep in touch with TP. Let us know how things go. I`m sure you`ll get lots of support. Love Sylvia x