Getting up in the night

Barney18

Registered User
Jan 5, 2011
37
0
Essex
Hello All, I know a lot of people on here have got experience of this so I'm looking for some help. My hubby has been getting up in the night now for some time. We live in a bungalow so no stairs to worry about. He tries to get out the front door but I lock it so he wanders in the house. I work full time so I leave him to get on with it. He normally comes back to bed of his own accord. Last night he got up as usual so I stayed in bed but then I thought he'd turned the taps on. He hadn't, he was weeing on the kitchen floor and then walked in it. I eventually got him in the bathroom and cleared it up but then couldn't get him back to bed. He decided to sleep on the sofa. He had no idea what he had done or where he was. I phoned my admiral nurse this morning and she has said to get his wee tested to see if he has an infection. Other than that, not much help. I don't think he has got an infection but I will take him for a test. If it's a case of this is the latest new thing how do I deal with it. I'm tired enough as it is without getting up all the time. He's on his own most of the time during the day and this hasn't happened before:confused:
 

SnowLeopard17

Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
173
0
Hampshire,UK
Dear Barney18

I am so sorry to hear this. I think the Admiral Nurse is right to advise that you get your husband checked for UTI's first.

I'm not sure what stage your husband is in and it is difficult to compare with our circumstances as everyone is different. I hope that for you that this is a temporary blip and another incident is a long way off.

With my husband it became obvious he just didn't know where the toilet was and initially I was able to direct him. Then his toileting etiquette started to go and he began to urinate wherever and was completely oblivious to what he was doing. For us there is no easy answer other than to be vigilant and look for signs that my husband needs to go to the toilet. My husband is not urinary incontinent as such as he knows and has the sensation of needing to go to the toilet, just doesn't appreciate where is appropriate. In reality I have found strategically placed buckets and even ice cream tubs have been the way to go.

When it happens at night it is obviously more difficult to deal with especially if you are tired and you know you have to get up to go to work the next day. I am aware some people use a mat with an alarm at the side of the bed so that it wakes them when there is movement so this could be an option.

I actually took the decision to remove the carpet from our bedroom and replace it with lino - not cheap but a decision I have not regretted :D.

I am sure others will have better strategies, Wishing you all the best,
SnowLeopard, with love x
 

Barney18

Registered User
Jan 5, 2011
37
0
Essex
Thanks SnowLeopard, I just don't know how I'll cope with getting up all the time and going to work. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. The incontinence thing really bothers me about this disease. Most other things I can manage. I'm also worried about leaving him on his own for long periods during the day. Feel like it's an accident waiting to happen as he's getting more confused and unsteady. CPN has suggested he try somewhere during the day once a week but hubby totally refuses. Am convinced he'll have an accident while I'm at work.
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,703
0
Wiltshire
Hiya blarney,

One thing you could consider doing is limiting where he has access to during the night. You could, for example, put a lock on the kitchen door. Leave a drink and a couple of biscuits out for him if he is apt to want something during the night. Also look around and if necessary remove anything that might be a danger if he wanders round the house. Some examples might be him attempting to put on a gas fire, trying to leave via a window, having access to medication, etc.

As to during the day, could you both leave for 'work' at the same time perhaps? You could drop him off at his workplace eg day care. Sell it to him that he is needed there to help out and don't mention the word care. My mother took her job at the day centre very seriously. You would not have seen her for dust if she thought she was the one being cared for! LOL

Fiona
 

SnowLeopard17

Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
173
0
Hampshire,UK
Thanks SnowLeopard, I just don't know how I'll cope with getting up all the time and going to work. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. The incontinence thing really bothers me about this disease. Most other things I can manage. I'm also worried about leaving him on his own for long periods during the day. Feel like it's an accident waiting to happen as he's getting more confused and unsteady. CPN has suggested he try somewhere during the day once a week but hubby totally refuses. Am convinced he'll have an accident while I'm at work.

Dear Barney18. It is so difficult, I know. My husband was left on his own for up to 6 hours a day until earlier this year. A number of things happened and culminated in my husband wandering, banging on someone's door, demanding to be let in and if he wasn't let in then he was going to die - At six foot tall and physically fit he was very threatening and the police were called!!! I think you know when it's not feasible/safe for someone to be left on their own and decisions have to be made. I was able to give up work and look after my husband, for others this may not be financially possible and other options have to be considered. e.g. carers coming in whilst you are at work or a balance between the two.

Have you had a carers assessment from social services?

With persuasion my husband did attend a day centre for a while (he was later banned!) and he thought he was going to work, indeed, at the end of the session he was thanked and presented with a 'pay check' envelope (provided by me). Day centres are difficult for those so young - in truth my husband had no inclination towards arts and crafts, was too far down the AD path to participate in 'word' games etc and too mobile to remain passive.

Incontinence, or discontinence in our case, is difficult to deal with but like so many of the aspects of each stage they come, we cope, we get on with it (for the most part!!)and we care. I have a lot of patience and can usually remain calm whatever comes my way, which is good, though it can be sorely tested if my husband urinates in the wardrobe or walks mess thoughout the house!!!!

Wishing you and your husband all the very best, SnowLeopard, with love x
 

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