• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Getting to end of my tether

Georgiebob

Registered User
Aug 3, 2015
2
I'm58. My partner of 40 years is 73. He has Alzheimers and vascular dementia. I gave up work in march 2015 to care for him full time. He was diagnosed with cancer recently and has completed six weeks of chemo/radiotherapy. He has been left with diarrhoea as a result of the treatment (although no longer as severe as it was). He obsesses about toileting. Consequently I spend hours every day (and night) assisting with real or imagined toileting issues. I feel as though my very breath is being drained from me. What to do?
 

mrs mcgonnagal

Registered User
May 9, 2015
153
I'm58. My partner of 40 years is 73. He has Alzheimers and vascular dementia. I gave up work in march 2015 to care for him full time. He was diagnosed with cancer recently and has completed six weeks of chemo/radiotherapy. He has been left with diarrhoea as a result of the treatment (although no longer as severe as it was). He obsesses about toileting. Consequently I spend hours every day (and night) assisting with real or imagined toileting issues. I feel as though my very breath is being drained from me. What to do?
Oh my. Have you any help? If not i would contact social services, McMillan nurses, local Alzheimer's society. You have a lot on. I know there will be a lot of help and advice from the experienced and caring people on here. It's a life line. Very best wishes to you .
 

Georgiebob

Registered User
Aug 3, 2015
2
Thank you for reply.

Oh my. Have you any help? If not i would contact social services, McMillan nurses, local Alzheimer's society. You have a lot on. I know there will be a lot of help and advice from the experienced and caring people on here. It's a life line. Very best wishes to you .
He is not terminally ill and thankfully support from Macmillan is not required. I have family members who are very supportive, however they have their own lives and I can hardly call them at every hour of the day and night. I suspect you know what a lonely place is that of a carer for an Alzheimer's sufferer. My partner insisted on retiring to bed at 7pm this evening. I know with the best will in the world (even in spite of sleeping pills) he will be up and roaming at 2 or 3 am.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,529
Dundee
Hi and welcome to TP. I'm sorry to read about your partners dementia. I must admit that toilet issues are the things that get to me most (my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost 14 years ago. He is also 21 years older than me.) Sorry, that's not a lot of help. Just wanted to say I understand!

Would it be worth a visit to the GP to see if he/she has any suggestions re the diarrhoea? My other thought is the Admiral Nurse Service. If there is an Admiral Nurse in your area you might benefit from a visit from one. If there isn't you can telephone or email. This is their site-

http://www.dementiauk.org/what-we-do/admiral-nurses/individual-teams-services/
 

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