Getting Scared

leicester61

Registered User
Aug 26, 2012
146
0
Leicestershire
Hi All
my OH was officially diagnosed with AZ over three yrs ago, i now know that hed been showing signs for a few yrs, hes 55 now and has started to not recognise things, like today he pointed to cabbage and asked me what it was, his short term memory is shocking and can forget something within seconds of being told, im scared because he seems to be declining very quickly, particularly with memory, speech, forgetting his words etc, and hes gone from being very active and quick to moving around at a snails pace. If i let him he would actually do nothing all day, and then i feel guilty if i do make him do stuff. I dont know im a bit emotional and terrified that im going to lose him sooner than later.
sorry to be all doom and gloom it gets me like that sometimes xxxxx
 

CeliaThePoet

Registered User
Dec 7, 2013
615
0
Buffalo, NY, USA
If this is a rapid decline, he was be experiencing a urinary tract infection (UTI), common in those with dementia and often without symptoms, but a big effect on cognition. Dehydration, constipation and other infection can also look like a rapid decline. Can you get him to see a GP?
 

Feline

Registered User
Oct 25, 2012
163
0
East Devon
Hi All
my OH was officially diagnosed with AZ over three yrs ago, i now know that hed been showing signs for a few yrs, hes 55 now and has started to not recognise things, like today he pointed to cabbage and asked me what it was, his short term memory is shocking and can forget something within seconds of being told, im scared because he seems to be declining very quickly, particularly with memory, speech, forgetting his words etc, and hes gone from being very active and quick to moving around at a snails pace. If i let him he would actually do nothing all day, and then i feel guilty if i do make him do stuff. I dont know im a bit emotional and terrified that im going to lose him sooner than later.
sorry to be all doom and gloom it gets me like that sometimes xxxxx

Hi,
Just reading your post reminds me of how my husband was after he was diagnosed at 59. I knew also that it had been going on for a few years, but we had been so busy building our business we must made have excuses for his actions/no actions. Anyway he went downhill quite quickly but would then plateau for a while and then downhill again.
Everyone is different so don't dismay, I can only say make the most of what you can and want to do while you can, if you can.
I tried to keep ourselves available to help where I could with the business and now realize I should have put ourselves first. Take care and keep positive getting any help you can. Although there are organizations etc. out there, you have to do your research, Alzheimers association were the best at just ringing us to see if we were ok.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Hi All
my OH was officially diagnosed with AZ over three yrs ago, i now know that hed been showing signs for a few yrs, hes 55 now and has started to not recognise things, like today he pointed to cabbage and asked me what it was, his short term memory is shocking and can forget something within seconds of being told, im scared because he seems to be declining very quickly, particularly with memory, speech, forgetting his words etc, and hes gone from being very active and quick to moving around at a snails pace. If i let him he would actually do nothing all day, and then i feel guilty if i do make him do stuff. I dont know im a bit emotional and terrified that im going to lose him sooner than later.
sorry to be all doom and gloom it gets me like that sometimes xxxxx

Oh Sweetie - how worried and frightened you must be. It's so distressing when you see someone changing, and I do understand, as I was in your position. The advice given by Celia is excellent, and a check that he hasn't got a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) will at least put your mind at rest on that score.

You haven't mentioned if hubby is on medication, so perhaps that's something that you could discuss with your GP. Please don't apologise for "doom and gloom" - we've all been there and can sympathise. Ask anything you want to, and off-load as much as you like. We're all here for each other. :) xxx
 

leicester61

Registered User
Aug 26, 2012
146
0
Leicestershire
Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot to me to have people that do understand this, he is on meds and has been since diagnosis. However i will get the possibility of a UTI checked out. He has just recently had a hearing test and they have decided he needs hearing aids for both ears, i have been experimenting with his ' deafness' and its strange, if i ask/say something to him and i wait a few minutes he answers, so i dont think hes deaf i think its just taking him longer to respond to me, as you all know theres always something that seems to be happening and its so hard to keep ontop of everything, never mind all the day to day stuff like finances, shopping, diy, my work, family, his low times!!!! god my low times !!!!, the dog, neighbours stupid comments, worrying about where we will end up living, blimey can you imagine how much we would earn if we were paid for all of the above lol.
i know its so much worse for others but sometimes when you feel so fed up and in despair its hard to remember that other people are going through so much more than you.
I lost my mum nearly 4 yrs ago and i miss her so much, just wish i could have her back for a day to talk to her, she always helped me feel better, mind you a day wouldnt be enough, id want more lol.
im going to sign off now, but while im here just wanted to say that i visit the site several times a wk and altho i dont post a lot i think of all of you and what your going through, and admire all of you for it. thank you for being here
suz xxxxx
 

Jean1234

Registered User
Mar 19, 2015
259
0
Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot to me to have people that do understand this, he is on meds and has been since diagnosis. However i will get the possibility of a UTI checked out. He has just recently had a hearing test and they have decided he needs hearing aids for both ears, i have been experimenting with his ' deafness' and its strange, if i ask/say something to him and i wait a few minutes he answers, so i dont think hes deaf i think its just taking him longer to respond to me, as you all know theres always something that seems to be happening and its so hard to keep ontop of everything, never mind all the day to day stuff like finances, shopping, diy, my work, family, his low times!!!! god my low times !!!!, the dog, neighbours stupid comments, worrying about where we will end up living, blimey can you imagine how much we would earn if we were paid for all of the above lol.
i know its so much worse for others but sometimes when you feel so fed up and in despair its hard to remember that other people are going through so much more than you.
I lost my mum nearly 4 yrs ago and i miss her so much, just wish i could have her back for a day to talk to her, she always helped me feel better, mind you a day wouldnt be enough, id want more lol.
im going to sign off now, but while im here just wanted to say that i visit the site several times a wk and altho i dont post a lot i think of all of you and what your going through, and admire all of you for it. thank you for being here
suz xxxxx

Funny what you said about waiting a while for your OH to answer you back. It's something I have noticed too. I thought my OH wasn't hearing either but I now believe he just needs time for his brain to work out what I have said and if I wait he quite often replies even though he'd said pardon. I began to feel like a parrot repeating myself over and over before. Also it does seem to be a bit of a roller coaster as he goes for some time on a plateau and then seems to get worse and then plateaus again. We are all at different stages of this scary journey but this TP family is such a help to all of us.
 

Auntie Mame

Registered User
Jan 24, 2016
11
0
Delayed Reaction Time

I have the same experience with my husband. I will say something. He will say "What?" as if he has not heard me. But if I wait, say 30 seconds or so, he will reply to what I said, or to part of what I said. The "What?" question is a mechanism he is unconsciously using in order to give his mind time to process information.

For a couple of years now, I take extra time to form my own sentences, to make them as easily understood for him as I can, and to repeat the main points.

I also ask him if he is listening before I say anything. Otherwise, I used to explain all about something only to discover he didn't hear a word, just staring into space.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I tell my husband when he has asked me the same thing for 5 times, because I want him to be aware that he is ill. When something goes wrong because of miss-communication, he accepts responsibility. For now, at least.
 

leicester61

Registered User
Aug 26, 2012
146
0
Leicestershire
Jean1234 & Auntie Mame
i definetly think we are on the right track here, i did discuss this briefly with the hearing consultant, and she said that it was hugely important to make sure that there were no obstructions to his hearing as this would impact on his communication, which of course makes sense, i have noticed for a long time now that he cannot follow conversations of more than two people so he just zones out. Its amazing the amount of information we carry about with ourselves isnt it, i seem to discover something new everyday, mind you drive myself crackers sometimes googling every little thing that crops up, cant help myself lol. Anyway once again thank you for your replies its so much easier to cope speaking to people who understand your situation completely. Im at work now so better crack on. ( will still pop in and out this morning though)
Hope you all have a decent day
suz xx
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I originally explained AD to my grandchildren, by saying that when you go to a library, if you want a book on gardening, you'd go to the gardening section. If you were a history fan, you'd go to history section. Everything is in order.

In Grandpa's mind, it's as if someone came in, pushed all the books from their shelves, and then put them back. Some are in the right place, and some aren't, so he has to look for them.

When I repeated this to our GP, and various consultants (my husband had a lot of other health problems as well), they said it explained the situation well. Hope that helps. xxx
 

leicester61

Registered User
Aug 26, 2012
146
0
Leicestershire
I originally explained AD to my grandchildren, by saying that when you go to a library, if you want a book on gardening, you'd go to the gardening section. If you were a history fan, you'd go to history section. Everything is in order.

In Grandpa's mind, it's as if someone came in, pushed all the books from their shelves, and then put them back. Some are in the right place, and some aren't, so he has to look for them.

When I repeated this to our GP, and various consultants (my husband had a lot of other health problems as well), they said it explained the situation well. Hope that helps. xxx

hi scarlett
thats exactly how my OH's CPN described it to us, very good i thought.
suz xx
 

chrissie121

Registered User
Nov 27, 2013
29
0
Hi All
my OH was officially diagnosed with AZ over three yrs ago, i now know that hed been showing signs for a few yrs, hes 55 now and has started to not recognise things, like today he pointed to cabbage and asked me what it was, his short term memory is shocking and can forget something within seconds of being told, im scared because he seems to be declining very quickly, particularly with memory, speech, forgetting his words etc, and hes gone from being very active and quick to moving around at a snails pace. If i let him he would actually do nothing all day, and then i feel guilty if i do make him do stuff. I dont know im a bit emotional and terrified that im going to lose him sooner than later.
sorry to be all doom and gloom it gets me like that sometimes xxxxx

HI there agree with other post, it could well be a UTI and this can cause confusion, dehydation, lack of energy, very low moods, sickness. also in rare cases it can be due to a low sodium levels which can cause all of the above. A quick urine test can be carried out by the GP who can test for both and prescribe antibiotics or sodium tablets that will resolve the problem very quickly. It should not be left as it will get worse.
 

chrissie121

Registered User
Nov 27, 2013
29
0
Change in Mood

I have been on the forum today and noted many questions regarding financial assessment and care and I hope I managed to help a few. However, my problem is my mother's change in mood. She has been in care for 12 months now, she was diagnosed with vascular dementia 4 years ago. The consultant advised at the time she would need full time care after 18 months. The three years up to her going into care was not something I would ever want to repeat or have anyone else experience but sadly that is the case these days. For the first 6 months she was in the home, it was very hard but we finally got her settled and felt she was in a great home with great staff, lovely surroundings and a lovely cafe/bar area with hairdressing salon and activities centre. In the last two months though her mood is awful, she constantly wants to go home, she hates the place, she is permanently packing, back to accusations of taking her clothes again, her shoes, her money. Can't remember whose been to see her and who has not, complete around turn as if we are back to when she first went to the home. Does anyone have any guidance or experience of this? It is so awfully draining for her and for me. I feel so sad as I can tell she is struggling within herself and she knows she is not right as she complains her brain is fuddled up and she doesn't know why she keeps forgetting things. This in turn makes her confused and angry and she lashes out at her nearest and dearest...... it really is the most awful of illness, it really is....:(